Sports Talk, Life Lessons, and Handling Seasonal Depression

Ever thought about how sports shape our relationships and experiences? Well, you're about to find out. We kick off with an in-depth exploration of the intriguing bond between coaches and athletes, with a highlight on the enduring legacy of legendary player Jerry Rice. We share our insights on the current NFL season and give our controversial picks for the top three running backs, sparking a debate that will surely have you picking sides.

But this episode isn't just for sports fans. We also take a trip down memory lane, reminiscing about the joy of attending games as children and the special father-son bonds forged through shared love for sports. We open up about our personal experiences and lessons learned over the years, from the importance of emotional and physical connection to setting boundaries and navigating roles in relationships. However, we also tackle some serious topics like the safety concerns surrounding football for young children and how technology has changed the way we engage with sports.

As we wrap up, we delve into our personal growth journey, the value of education, and the power of accountability. We touch on family traditions, legacies, and how they help us cope with loss, underlining the importance of continuing traditions. We explore the complexities of relationships, emphasizing the need to strike a balance between self-care and the demands of relationships. This episode is a heartwarming yet thought-provoking conversation that will have you reflecting on sports, life, and relationships in a whole new light.

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Chapters

• 0:01 Discussion on Sports and Top Receivers
• 8:11 Sports Talk
• 18:16 Discussion on Sports and Children's Interest
• 25:04 Father-Son Connection Through Sports
• 39:02 Teaching Boys About Intelligence and Marriage
• 49:10 Love Languages and Relationship Needs
• 58:56 Understanding the Dynamics of Relationships
• 1:09:30 Marriage and Representing Your Spouse
• 1:13:15 Personal Growth and Education Importance
• 1:18:28 Challenges and Expectations in Relationships
• 1:30:31 Holiday Reflections and Family Traditions
• 1:43:13 Supporting Growth
• 1:50:43 Importance of Having Someone to Talk

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

I'm a buck. I first mm-hmm, oh, h I oh permission to speak, but when them, when them buffaloes on, I'm putting on putting the buffalo on, pulling for coach Brown, pulling for shallow on the door and, well, wish it's the Travis Hunter. He'd be back soon. I actually saw um and I'm not sure if this is true or not. You know people be making stuff up, but I saw um, allegedly a message that Travis Hunter sent to coach prime. He said pretty much I'm paraphrasing here coach, I need to be back on the field. I ain't taking no fuck for answer, promise pine back to him and said you need to focus on getting better, getting healthy, as much as we need you. You know your future gonna be way brighter than mine ever was. Hmm, focus on getting better. I love you son. They ain't even a son, but he called him son and maybe that shit just get me in my fields. My call me son. Yeah, but that coach role is a. It's a. It's a healthy role, man, it's a, it's a necessary role.

Speaker 1: 1:13

Was definitely for the athlete, the young male, that tough love type of Relationship man and even just kind of taking on that moniker of I. Yeah, this, my, this, my son, or this is this, this is that man. I'm about blah, so need that man. So Shout out and good luck to the Colorado Buffaloes this Saturday. I believe they got USC Come into town or maybe they plan at USC. Nigga, they play in USC. You know I'm saying mm-hmm. Okay, caleb Williams, jay Rice's son, receiver for USC. I did see that. I did see that man. It was a hairline that spoke about Jerry Rice and the D&D on Sandra son with face off 25 years after they father's a face stop and I feel like a legacy matchup as a sports type of person myself and I feel like those are kind of those Coming full circle kind of things like my I beat your ass and my son beat your ass, but my son beat my daddy, coach beat your daddy.

Speaker 1: 2:17

What are the prime? Definitely gay, jerry, your room for his money. You know saying when you see the Pretty, even though, like Jerry, ain't no ho, jerry greatest. Oh, top three, receive a top two. I top one. I think you think we're, jerry right, number one, jerry number one, and I think I think anybody who we say is number one would Say that Jerry is number one. Okay, I believe Jerry is. Whether you talking to yo To yo gonna say Jerry number one, randy Moss gonna say Jerry number one. So just off, that Is Jerry number one, jerry number one, and I'm not going along with that trio, with that top trio that, oh yeah, that Jerry to yo and moss, who for a whole decade, or probably for life, you will always Be viewed as getting mosque, oh yeah, we ain't you got more, so you got AI out of out and master plenty of motherfuckers in my time.

Speaker 1: 3:16

Shout out in the backyard. Shout out to y'all who grew up with me. They know, you know who I'm talking to. Yeah, you Look, you know. Shout out to the backyard warriors that have thrown a ball, go down and run next to the Buick, absolutely, turn around. Absolutely, so, uh, so, yeah, man that turn moss, turn his name into a I guess that would be a verb is what you do, you Marsman, you Marsman, yeah. So ti, I think ti really took the celebration. See, it's all good. Yeah too, he did some stuff, expeditiously messed that. He did some stuff. But no to yo, my apologies. Yeah, to one of the top three receivers of all time. Shout out to taro, I believe to.

Speaker 1: 3:57

Yo took the Celebration to a whole new level and they even started changing rules. Yeah, him and oh Cho, just Bruh. They used to get penalties for certain celebrations. Now they got a whole Celebration camera. Yeah, today, with changing the culture of the game, yeah, get in front of the end, do your shit. You know, sam, and I want? I want to say this real quick man, y'all gonna call me a hater, I don't give up.

Speaker 1: 4:24

I Thought we left the gritty in 2022 or the 2022 2023 season. Can we plea, leave the grid, let the gritty Die. But the gritty died. Let the gritty die, man, you know we, you know, ain't ain't nobody leaning with it, rocking with it. No, mo, ain't nobody snapping their fingers and doing stuff. The gritty been hanging on for dear life. Can we, can we, let the gritty die? Finish out the season. I finish out this season. They still doing it in college. Man, shout out to Justin Jefferson, number one receiver right now in the game. Really made the gritty popular, as Michael Jackson did with moonwalk. But we gotta let the gritty go. So finish out the season, the 2023 2024 football season. After this, I'm calling for the death of the grid and I'm gonna put a petition like the dad the death of the sea.

Speaker 1: 5:31

Anybody dabbing? No more Anybody. I dab like two years ago and they came to like held my hand like I was dying, like that, that's your need. I Feel real bad cuz I thought I was like Still in. It was like man, so fucking fast, you use an house for a while that week. Yeah, you know two things things move back, yeah, man.

Speaker 1: 5:55

So tell me this man, we've been talking about the top three receivers. Just a little bit man. Yes, yeah, in no particular order. I'll get Jerry to, and more, yeah, who would you list as your Top three? Say, running back this top three, this off top of the head, very standard, brian Westbrook he was. He was okay, okay, okay, and what's pay? Hmm, I like that. Yeah, what very sanity caught me off guard. So I'm sorry, but yeah, very Sanders, you know, and I left Jim Brown off on purpose Because he's number zero Wouldn't be fair. Okay, just know, lay low the most. Jimmy Brown is at the top, the top, tip, tip, top, you know. But I'm very Sanders, waterfading Brown, whisper.

Speaker 1: 7:00

Stop me right there, cuz I'm about to drop a whole bunch of honorable mentions. Man, I'm yeah, oh yeah, man, I like so many man, so many man, man, yeah, so I Get it. I get it as I'm thinking and sitting back thinking of different for your team's and that gave players and you know, all of just first team, all rare grand is all defensive. Just a danian town. Oh my god See, stop me, man, don't stop me, just stop me. Now you will open up another segment on that. Yeah, open up another segment on that, man.

Speaker 1: 7:30

But just wanted to touch base on sports, man, I know football has been something that we've been, we've been talking about lately. That's a actually a release for us. That's actually therapeutic for us to be able to get ourselves and play, to hang out and and Just do god shit scratch. Thanks for coming through and watching the game with me last Saturday. Oh for sure, oh for sure, bro, clean, yeah, oh I, oh, what a win man. Down to the wire, down to the last second, down to if they didn't, if they was an inch short. That's it, that's all it's it, man.

Speaker 1: 8:11

That day, man, like you, know what really made me proud that day? What's that? We had our boys with us. Yes sir, yes sir, yes sir. And KJ acts just ironically, he was like that.

Speaker 1: 8:21

Do you like screaming yield during the games? I'm like what kind of food. You think I am. I'm not over the ball pit, but he asked about this before we got there, like just earlier that day, because him and I've been watching the game and now I can see him looking to connect with me that way. Yeah, in that space of like, what you doing, dad, are you doing this? Okay, can you explain this to me? So and so forth, and that's really where we connect in that. But yeah, I like, did you do you get wild and like screaming yield during the game? I'm like no man, I'm an animal. You think I am. I'll be gone when he's seen us over there together.

Speaker 1: 9:04

You said you didn't do this. What are you looking at me? Like you said growing up a lot, right, I was over here with low man, maybe even screaming. I gotta, gotta match the energy, gotta match the energy. I begin wild man, especially about my buck eyes. Man, I love my browns, I love Sunday football, man, but I always kind of been like a Saturday football Even more so. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 9:29

I used to say you know a man, because my college boys is hungry. That's what I used to say. And niggas ain't hungry, no more, they got in I L. They stand in the league. They got two more years of eligibility. They taking.

Speaker 1: 9:42

I can't see you, I can't remember who, who it is, but he is a quarterback, probably Caleb Williams. Good, any like 3900 years. Oh, you talking about goddamn from Georgia. Last year he like 25, he like he should be 20. He like he like 26. Now he a rookie. By the time. What's that boy name? Goddamn, it's at the tip of my tongue.

Speaker 1: 10:03

Man from just that's invented and prayers to Stetson been a Mount Hurst and things going on. So shout out to him and his health. He's on the injury reserve list right now for the Rams. I'm not exactly sure what's going on, but you don't much love respecting prayers to Stetson. Been it over there with the with the Rams, but um, but yeah, he is, I believe about 26 years old, rookie season. Well, typically, guys is coming in league Ricky season, 20 years old, 21, when his rookie contract contract is up and that's usually when you start to tap into the bigger dollars, the bigger contract, not the big, big one, but that's the one I we done with that Ricky contract.

Speaker 1: 10:47

I don't prove myself. It'll be 29 years old, 29 If. For those who may not be aware, can you please explain to them that in Sports what 29 years old is and in sports We'll just stick with football in the sport of football the age of 29 is equivalent to being 86 years old and regular human. You, I won't say 86. I'll say like 66. So you up there, you still moving, you ain't got the cane yet, but you getting up there, you know doing stairs probably won't be as easy.

Speaker 1: 11:24

Yeah, and it's position by position. You know they protect the quarterback more so nowadays, the way now you will get the 3540, you know, and Rogers when fortunately suffered an injury earlier this season. But you know some of our, our better quarterback is up there now, this generation of quarterback. So you have now, I assume and I put it on wax now We'll be around for a long time because of the way the rules are built, you know. So, patrick Mahon, if you want to still be out there when he 40, I believe he will still be able to because his health will be where it's supposed to be. Hit the quarterback like that. You can't land on them like that. Yeah, rough in the past and I believe that they'll. They'll always get the best bullies to protect them. Oh, yeah, for sure that's the best and teams are understanding that.

Speaker 1: 12:10

A you want to, you want to win the chip. Drop that bread on that old line. It's like like, like the Patriots did, ain't taking nothing, nothing away from time. Brady, that man had a career with a old line and he only had as long and as a healthy Career is because they protected mm-hmm. This reminds me of a what my, me and a big team in Uncle Big Air is a watch the game and he used to drop, like History facts and like ESPN classic facts. Yeah, it was like did you know, damn, we know used to take his old linemen out to eat when they had a good game you know they had a really good game and protected him here. Take them out to eat. Relationship, yeah, relationship. You love me like amen. Everybody gets stakes on my brothers and then we'll be shrimp on me. Thank you all for us being, thank you for being a fan, but one of those like a. We need that kind of camaraderie in relationship where I Only can be as good as the time you get.

Speaker 1: 13:16

Yeah, the receivers can break off routes of what's necessary or just switch up coverage, and that's where you're dangerous, man. If, uh, if you're on average. If your line is able to protect you for about four seconds, it's actually pretty pretty damn good. Mm-hmm, you can give me two more seconds. Two more seconds with Justin Jefferson to get open. Oh, I'm dangerous on top of just what I can do, get out the way. But if you can give me, if you can give me six seconds of protection, oh my good, that's a game change. That's a super boy when it's team man. Shout out to the the big ugly stick column, the offensive line. That might be offensive Excuse me, I'm sorry, guys who me and Carter, we living in sensitive times but I'm sure, shout out to the offensive lines all across the world Respect y'all, y'all, get out there and get y'all back. Man, you heard about your boy, travis Kelsen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout out to Cleveland Heights man.

Speaker 1: 14:13

Hey guys, I did see the Chiefs game with Travis Kelsen and I saw that Travis Kelsie had a Super star and Of those are up. I believe those are box seats or those box seats or like clubhouse. Yeah, I don't know how you know Chief stadium is built, but yeah, in the box and In the club seats up there with these owners. And Taylor Swift was up there with a Looks like his mom. Come on, dude, and you don't get close to mom like that quick without being close to mom. Previous, yeah, man, you want to. You want to? Mama, one of me take with that's David's with Adam Cleveland boys rocking cuz he's still from Cleveland.

Speaker 1: 15:00

He knocked off a, allegedly, I won't say he knocked off like they like, but that pretty sure you're not. Yeah, long list of boyfriends. I'm pretty sure the fuck. But why wouldn't you be fucking if you would? Yeah, and they grown. It's not like dating kids, we can touch each other. What is that?

Speaker 1: 15:21

But I did hear man, like they did, had a good win that day and they had a. You know he pretty sure he got celebrated for the victory. Yeah, we sure that was a question. Like you think they smash, you get. Yeah, I listened to Taylor Swift music man, her, she smashed. I couldn't name you a. Tell us I don't know. Tell us the song, but I've listened to in Cleveland, ohio, we've listened to Q104, q104 and Taylor Swift plays on there. So that should come on after my battery did. This is all good, it's played on there. I've heard some songs and she's okay, but she's like a girl, teenage girl sings about heartbreak and make fun of her exes and different things like that, but it's like I One of those man. But good music she sells.

Speaker 1: 16:14

Travis Kelsie's jerseys went up in 24 hours and went up 400% percent. How about that? How about that? And they were the same color as Iron man too. Yeah, how about that? How about that?

Speaker 1: 16:29

But, yeah, man, I don't know how Travis Kelsie's contract is instructed, but you know, sometimes they would get a certain percentage of Jersey sales. Um, I believe what's the soccer player Messel, lionel, lionel Messi. I believe in his constant. He gets a. No, quote me. I believe he gets 100%. I believe so. 100% it's a rain. Not even Sinatra gets that kind of deal, but that's a. I'm very proud of you. Yeah, but that's a. That's a great deal, somewhere. That was negotiated. That, if he does give 100% of his Jersey sales must mean somewhere, if there's a save allegedly, it is true, the league itself as a business organization probably, is still making astronomical numbers like a billion dollar contract.

Speaker 1: 17:19

We don't even need to. We got such supportive people. You this is for you because it's your name at, george yeah, the ticket sales and whatever, like a that compensate says so it's like boom, get them jerseys, I'm gonna send it on them. Hot dog yeah, man, if you get a pack of hot dog to three dollars and get like Eight to ten, when hot dog like eight dollars at stadium and you get the cheapest bread, man, they bread. They got the yellow bread that should be soggy before you get to the sea. It's either soggy or hard. No, in between, like can I get a? Y'all got a bun warmer in this bitch. You gotta like put that bitch between your buns. Somebody sit on mine for y'all. Get to me please, man. But I say this man, I enjoy having having sons, man, I'm enjoying the sports world and I'm enjoying Cleveland sports that it's exciting to be able to take them. So it's a couple games that I'm looking forward to want to take them to.

Speaker 1: 18:16

I feel like, beyond what the prices are, cuz I ain't trying to go get like no nosebleeds, ready Binoculars, but I wonder I can see well from up there. I can't see the game if I'm too close, if I'm sitting too close. Not that I ever put half Matter of fact, that's a lie cuz me and my boy madman, we found our way. I ain't gonna give away the game, but we found our way into some seats that were not ours. After half time it was it's a statute of limitation on the game after the game over, like you can't get in trouble. It was right after. I got some very nice photos of Tom Brady from last seat. We was close but um, but it's close as he was. I can't see the game. I can't see who's open, I can't see the defense as well as when I'm up top and then ain't got to be nosebleeds but Yo, second, I have like second level and I'm out of nose bleeding football.

Speaker 1: 19:05

Now, basketball is a little different from me. I mean my wife, we have Make a sound bougie real quick. We have some favorite seats at at Rocking mortgage field house when you go to see the cast play. We were actually considering getting season tickets last year. We're gonna do it soon. You can get like a eight game package and I feel like eight games that's a lot, but eight games and that's some football. Back the cat. Okay, yeah, we got some favorite seats.

Speaker 1: 19:32

Man, right behind the hoop. When we first sat, I'm like man, we ain't gonna be able to see that. Get right behind the hoop. How you? I like sitting on the side. Yo, sitting there was dope and we're like right behind the little media people, shit. You know my own dog come holland. You know you might get a t-shirt. Yeah, one of my favorite little Cheerleaders I don't know her name, she wanted a cabaret girls little chocolate shoes. She was like they shot out to you. No, you, baby, you make it not hurt. Oh yeah, but um, but no man. So what? What games are you excited to go see with the board? Well, first, primarily football, that's so Cleveland Browns. I do not have a team yet. I just will go to any Cleveland Browns game for show.

Speaker 1: 20:21

My son is was making me stick to what the schedule is or even look it up, because he's setting his watch to it. Okay, can we watch the game? And me statement hey man, we should go to it now was one of those. Hey, dad, I got the. I looked at the schedule. You know it means it's technology. You could just Google it. Yeah, let's say it.

Speaker 1: 20:41

Series Alexa who the brunt play this week. Any one of them. Ai softwares that you verbally talk to. Information who Alexa is a? I never looked at it that way. Man, just heard her. You never touched her. Like that relationship just changed. Yeah, we got it. You can have her Save nice things to do. Compliment you, yeah, if you compliment her mother. A little tree of growth tree still, I showed to you like, but that's dope man being that, you know, your boy man, it's kind of taking that interest. Man, you know who? My daughter, my three-year-old, she really takes the interest in, like bad, my boys kind of just coming around. Even when she was even smaller one she was always kind of interested. Now here I want to wipe.

Speaker 1: 21:30

One day I had the game on, this was college basketball and my wife was doing her hair on the couch and so I leave the room, my wife turns the channel to go to some cartoons just to kind of keep her attention a little better. So she like, mommy, I want to get bars, like, oh, okay, I'm back to the hands. So my daughter, I think she don't, you know, and that that warms my heart, new ones, my heart as a dad man. So looking into that forward, man, with you having children at sports being some of the things that, uh, that go on in your home and did, do any of your children play sports or show interest in that? No, so my oldest boy, he will be playing baseball and basketball next year, put them in basketball Last year, but this was a team where they, the jet, had to be selected.

Speaker 1: 22:23

He was out there doing some goofy stuff. You know I'm saying I come on, bruh, and I want to be like that dad. Okay, I'm out there giving signals, I'm serious, but uh, but he will be playing baseball Next year. And my baby boy, you know he's still an elementary school, so it ain't many like sports options as far as school go. You got like a summer thing going on. He wants to play baseball as well and he wants to play football, in which, you know, mommy feels away about football, and even me as well, you know, having kids and football.

Speaker 1: 23:01

So so young, um, you know, just because you know, we see what happened over the years man, brain injuries and things like that. You know, imagine starting playing football when you five, and no, you just taking hits Even for the age of five. Yeah, they used to call it just in your bedroom. Yeah, you have a little stinger. You know what happened. I don't have my. I don't got the wind knocked out of y'all knocking me and I myself throw in a block one time and I'm trying to celebrate what it is. Man, he's so excited. Take me out the game coach, but um, but that's hard though, man.

Speaker 1: 23:40

Being with the having the boys man, when we were watching that Ohio State game I felt like the boys man have become like a Little little little buckeyes man, little house, they fans being hype. I heard KJ over there, you know, doing this thing. Oh man, they down all down about four. Oh, that's not good. Hey man, game ain't over, it ain't over. It's seven minutes left, it ain't oh, it's foam on. Damn, I didn't get that first time. It might be over there, but then they was able to see, honestly, some shit that we're not used to seeing out of, out of the buckeye. We used to ask One side, at least me season is like a half time. You like board is fuck like Shit up. You don't mind turning in half time. Yeah, 63 to 3, some stupid ass shit, dumb, stupid ass school.

Speaker 1: 24:38

But this one here was like I ain't no, the game shot out to them and all ten of them guys who was on the field, them last couple plays. You heard about that. They had a. There was a little one man short. There was a man sure, on the last two play, last two plays, and one of them was coming out of a timeout. Yeah, somebody dropped the ball on that twice. No pun intended, nope, they're problem not all. I don't think it was still made up different, yeah, man.

Speaker 1: 25:04

So tell me this, man, when you, what do you feel as a dad, having that connection with your children and sports being like the link? The reason why I'm so big with it and I want my boys to kind of engage with me on that, is because that was something big for us and our family growing up. You know, saying what a church on Sunday After church, and if you, if you peak, you know, during football season Past to let you out a little early on the Browns, come on that one most of the past to let you out early. I'm just saying because our passes used to be like you ain't gonna make it to see the Browns. We knew, we knew we did let us out by 130. We might miss the first quarter, but we's up out of there. You know I'm going to your church. That's past.

Speaker 1: 25:48

I had a earpiece in his ear. Listen to the game. Yes, oh yeah, they schooled, lord, lord, yes, lord, yeah, they schooled, lord, they schooled. But, um, but nah, man, but that was a. That was a big thing after church.

Speaker 1: 26:06

So the grandmothers you know what I'm saying the ladies in my family already got the food prepped and grandma did her thing, you know, and we, eating, watched the game and that was always like the thing. My uncles and everybody in my grandmother's one bedroom apartment. It'd be a good I am not exaggerating man a good 20 of us. It's just love. It's always just enough food, just enough seats. You know what I'm saying. One more oh, oh, oh, oh. Drone came through, another seat for him. As my mother's godbrother, he has stopped through every once in a while. My uncle Curry come through, my cousin punk and Dana you know what I'm saying Lydia Lois, lena Letha coming through, uncle James coming through, auntie Gail coming through, not to mention me and my mama and us three yeah, my baby brother, they wasn't born yet, they were still living. They don't know about this, you know what I'm saying. But that was something that we crowded around. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 27:09

And Jimmy Brown was the grandmothers favorite. I remember Jim Brown, jim Brown out there, I don't think he had this game. She used to call it Brian James, lavon James, yeah, but that's what? Lebron James, but that's something that was, and I'm a huge football fan, sports fan and general man, especially football and baseball, and so I want my, I want to have that connection with my boys around sport. I want to know yeah, my dad got me into this, especially coming from where we come from, and we talk about this probably a little more than we should just not having that, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 27:53

There's always a good time to speak about your triumphs of what you did not have. Yeah, how you kicking ass at now, because that's something that, even to this day, I still desire, when I, you know, when I think about not having a father and I'm only your phone call away you know it's a baby man, I don't need nothing from you. Come watch the game with me, come check me out my little setup. Man, grab a beer, come watch the game. You know what I'm saying and like I'm worth that, I'm worth that, I'm worth that. So that's something that, at the same time, it kind of it kind of brings that out of me.

Speaker 1: 28:27

It's like I want to have this connection with my boy. I want them to be brown spans, I want them to be buck eyes. My son he had. Yeah, dad, I need more browns here. I bet we can get you a couple shirts this week. Collect, you know what I'm saying, collect some shit. So that's that's. That's big to me, that's big for sure, for sure. Okay, jb Interested, huh, kj interested in it.

Speaker 1: 28:52

I'm interested that he's interested in it and he's interested in it because I'm interested in it, and that's I really kind of feel like sometimes that's how I really need to go. Somebody I'm following his lead, he following mine, and it's just one step after the other. I enjoy him and not having adding layers to our connections. One of the layers that we do have is music. We both are like music head, hip hop head, artistic head. He likes to art and he likes to draw and do art and paint and got that craftiness from his mother. He's really musically inclined, like me. He plays like two instruments I want to say from the quote, like it's the saxophone, flute, some shit, and the bass. I just remember having to pay for the shit. Everybody for sure, I remember that. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 29:40

But he would, he would take care of it and me getting to see how sports is bonded us. I know how it bonded me with. Uh, take a few of my mom's guy friends growing up and then it bonded. My uncle and I, most definitely on the Saturdays I would be able to go over their house on my uncle and uncle home and he'll be watching just football all Saturday. He'd just be breaking down like see, that's, that's a four, three defense. See the F, the FBS, they got that set up like the league Okay, like that's, if you get a good quarterback from there, they're going to make, they're going to make the transition real good.

Speaker 1: 30:24

He's like oh, stay quarterbacks, they just show the big 10, the big 10 just show don't know that I'm trying, don't know that I'm trans or over make a good, but in scene I hurt my feelings. I'm sorry, but we would talk about it and I would just be excited to be around, be excited to be like oh, this is it Okay. The excitement, the cheer, the oh, what happened? We're supposed to get out right now. Oh, okay, I'm not paying attention, but the education that came with it, the, the, the creation of a good time. We got food is laughter. We got entertainment, education, explaining like what it is, and I get to sit in that seat now of like how I was so excited to to have that.

Speaker 1: 31:09

My son is so excited to have that and I'm excited to be the one hosting it and getting to have it with him and explaining the game. And we get in the chill and he will eventually have some memorization of every Saturday. My dad and I I remember telling you he was used to say when we went this has been a tradition for a long time On the weekends he'll be like hey, dad, is the piece of man coming, piece of man coming today? Cause on the weekends it was tradition, bro, we get pieces of wings, jojo's, I'll give me a little drink or something and we'll just watch football. It didn't matter what football, but we'll just watch football. Yeah, no matter who, no matter who man, and it's always been our time.

Speaker 1: 31:50

But now that he's able to really comprehend it, now it's like okay, so that's who this, that's that and this information. I'm pumping him, get pumping into him. Pause, he's able to actually connect with more of his friends that do play sports, because he's not a sports type of kid, but it is a general thing to talk about amongst his friends of oh, did you guys watch the game? Or just in the third, what receiver from the Vikings created the gritty. He's the one. Yeah, he keeps the gritty alive. I got a killing that feel. Yeah, he's the gritty in 2020.

Speaker 1: 32:26

But just being able to make that connection and having one thing lead to another makes me feel good. My baby boy Link saying to that as well. He kind of just doing learned behavior. So, whatever he's seeing us do or see me do, he just kind of going behind seeing how I move. But I'm watching, yeah, for sure, and I, like I'm, I'm living it and seeing it and I'm falling in love with it.

Speaker 1: 32:51

When I get to see that, when the sports is what connects us, to have that time to be like you and my presence, yeah, we together, you and I, we together, and it's a good time, I want you to feel cool. So we're talking about a lot of times where we're chatting, like my son here, come over, like dad, you want to do something. I'm doing what I want to do, what you want to do while she wants to do, while I'm watching football, like you know, all right, we could play Uno. Wow, I watched the game. You know what I'm saying and we be. I think our score kind of even on. You know, man, they be whipping me, I'll be whipping them. You know I'm gonna get that extreme Uno with the draw eights and draw teens and shit. I'm gonna get that.

Speaker 1: 33:31

I believe it'll be a lot of fights. We're gonna square up about that. There was a lot of scuffling. But um, but last week, like okay, I was watching the was it a Monday night game? Whatever? Maybe it was Sunday night man.

Speaker 1: 33:46

But he come in here like dad, you watching the bangles, and I was kind of impressed just off. Of course he gonna recognize I'm watching the rounds, I'm watching the high state. But he's like, are you watching the bangles? Like man, I like to watch all the game. You know what I'm saying. Another day he come in, you watching Michigan, checking out the competition, son, yeah, you know, and raising my boys to hate Michigan. I know your favorite color blue. That's fine, you know. But but I believe Scarlett, straight up, scarlett and Gray. You know I got my little M on the wall X out. So the imagery just in the house.

Speaker 1: 34:28

Hey, can I have one of those for my birthday? I'm making one. I printed that off printer. We got some printer paper. We do, I got you, I'm gonna make you one. I'm gonna cut it and make it look real. And I got you. Make it look 3D, put some LED lights behind it. I probably had to do that. Yeah, I'm gonna see real crap. Pass that to my my electronic part. Make it with my dope man.

Speaker 1: 34:51

But raising them to understand B fans and what we fans are, because you know these are boys, man. So, like I've said before, when they get to a certain age, they need to be outside with daddy anyway. Anyway, wherever, wherever daddy at it's like hey, go and watch father. You know what I'm saying, whether it's us being in the yard watching sports, building a deck which I will be doing about what did the math on my deck and how much I need. You know what it's going to cost and all that but be with daddy, man. These are boys. You know what I'm saying. They belong to us. They're going to take on a lot of our traits. They're going to go through a lot of the same experiences that we went through when we was their age, and it wasn't that long ago, at least for me. I remember being in the sixth grade. So, anything he going through yeah, I was talking to this one girl hey, talk, talk, holla at me, son.

Speaker 1: 35:43

I remember her name was Denise. I remember I liked her, she ain't like me. And they got mad when I got a girlfriend. What you talking about, I remember yeah, it was not that long ago. Yeah, kj, he got that placement where he, uh, he learned an adult lesson. Yeah, those emotions is kicking in.

Speaker 1: 36:03

And he had asked like that have you, um, have you ever been like friends on? I'm like, yeah, man, I didn't happen before. You know, gave him my little spill about it. Oh. And then he recently asked though, like that have you had any other girlfriends before, mom? I'm like, son, look, this defense, we watching this is a four, three difference. Okay, if you go to college and you go to an FBC, some play for that school division, because you're going to make it to the league. Don't ask me shit, that's a bunch of money. But no, no, at least not right now, because you know it gets through a certain way.

Speaker 1: 36:43

When they get about, when they start tapping into them 20s, I'm like, hey, son, let me, let me holla at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So so I love to be transparent with him. And he only got his most information is. But like, yeah, man, your mom and I you know that's my wife. I love to have lots of mom, but I'm like, yeah, your mom, I have the girlfriends before your mom.

Speaker 1: 37:04

He was just like oh, oh, but just kind of like envisioning. If I could put myself in the place of a kid like that, I guess can't even think about you. Yeah, I don't like you anymore, dad, I don't like you anymore. Yeah, like, ain't it bread? Like, hey, son, you could have ended up as jury. It ended up as jury Could have been on somebody eyebrows. You could have been a dietary supplement. Yeah, for real, a little protein shake man.

Speaker 1: 37:46

But I love being a father man and I tell you this we speak a lot sometimes about our R&D, our research and development of ourselves. I am heavily involved in funding and putting all my dollars into the R&D of my children, the research and development of what it is that they like, what it is that they want to do. I understand as a father and even as a counselor to a lot of people. I have to still respect that he may not be ready to talk to me about everything, even though I'm like, hey, man, I am here. I am here Like son, I'm here, I am sensei to many. Yeah, okay, and I'm still learning my Goddons. If I ain't done, what about you got a dope teacher? But I understand, like when the student is ready to teach a real career, I think he know what he got until like he really need me, he gonna pull, but right now we already got that level of like. I think I got it Like hey, dad, can I talk about this or talk about that? And I want to make you feel comfortable and not always be dad. If that makes sense, I want to always.

Speaker 1: 39:02

So even on the ride here he hit, he was like hey, yeah, dad, it's a couple of girls I've found out lately that like me and I'm like hey, man, you got to keep yourself up. You know you want to. You know school, that they like you. But don't, don't, don't lose your focus. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Don't, don't, don't, don't. Stop doing what they, what you've been doing to make them like you, because that number gonna go up. But don't get so focused on the ones that like you. You don't do your shit, don't. No girl won't know it be unattractive. When there report card comes in, you got an affin. What did we say? You can't be no cute dummy, can't be no dumb ass. Not at all. You can't be a man that's a cute dummy. You can't be a woman Cute dummy.

Speaker 1: 39:47

I don't think anywhere where an intellectual intelligence, etiquette for yourself or standard is held, that being a fool or foolish or a gesture of someone else's in someone else's circus is considered to be cool. Playing the fool is not cool. I have not grown up in an, in an in an era or a generation where being a fool was cool. The women I've seen growing up, in the men that I've seen growing up, they were brandish their intelligence of what they knew about, whatever topic it was. If they knew a lot about football, boom, that's what they would show. If they knew a lot about cooking or cleaning or taking care of a home, they knew that. If they knew business, they would show that if they was a five percenter, they'd beat your ass if you ain't. If you know your math, you know what I'm saying. Like they get up on you, but it was like hey, I'm studying something, I'm I'm, I'm gauging and growing my intellect.

Speaker 1: 40:49

Man, if it ever was ever cool to be a fool, I have not caught onto that trend. Okay, I have not caught onto the trend of being just being a fool because dummies don't make no money. No, not at all. Dummies don't make no money, at least not by the talents of, by the, by their talents. Maybe it being a fool and you don't know, you're a fool, but dummies don't make no money, man.

Speaker 1: 41:17

So one of the things I want to teach to him and I felt like it was a, it was a strong suit of myself I expressed to him like hey, man, your intelligence is always and will always be attractive. It will always be a strong suit. No one can ever take that from you, though your mind is so powerful. And if you never thought your mind was as powerful as it is, my question would be to you is if you didn't think your mind was as powerful as it is, why does the world push so much to change it? Hmm, what are the world push so much to change your mind or change your thoughts, or change what you innately feel? Yeah, you innately feel like hey, I don't like that or that's not cool, that's no way compared to.

Speaker 1: 42:00

They give an underline like no, it's, it's fine, it's okay to smoke back and forth, smoke back and forth that and all and huff air soar, it's okay, you'll come down from the high. Everyone's doing it, I dare you. And now your baby did, or you did, because you just failed the temptation. Someone got your brain and got your mind. Yeah, but just using that as an example, yeah, that's a, that's a, that's a dope, a dope line to say a dope feature.

Speaker 1: 42:33

Hmm, for our boys and our kids, just period, man, to understand your mind is powerful. It is important for you to, for a to be an individual. See, you know, we all fall under, and they, our oldest boys, they in middle school now, and that's where that peer pressure start to see, being trying to be cool, want to wear the cool stuff, want to say the cool thing, and and lying. So I told him, heavy, I'm like amen. For about four or five years, dad lied about getting vagina and I wasn't getting from the age of like 11 or 15, 16. Like, hey, I'm doing it to all the girls at my cousin house, you just don't know him. Yeah, when the last time you got some, last night, my mama left. And then when I'm like amen, you going to fall into that victim. You going to fall into that. I do Got a girlfriend, you just don't go here. He wanted to do it what it is, but me express it to him like amen, that's going to happen.

Speaker 1: 43:43

Mostly the boy, young boys, are lying anyway. They haven't. Even I'm like none of y'all are getting as many opportunities as you really think because they none of y'all got shit right now. Okay, look, broke, my fuck, you ain't got shit. And some of the things that he even expresses to me about some of the young girls is what makes me like, hurts my feelings sometimes, and he'll say like he's in the sixth grade. So he'll say, yes, a young lady likes me or talks to me. And he had a situation with a young lady they were dealing in and she was like, oh yeah, I've never been in a relationship longer than like 96 hours and this is what I, this business is so to you. And I'm like this doesn't even sound right. You guys are like 10, 11. How many relations? You guys don't even calculate time, right? Like not even child children. Time is not the same as the dope time. No, it is not.

Speaker 1: 44:34

Celebrating weekly anniversaries. Yeah, every Wednesday is our anniversary. We ain't planning on being together long. Yeah, four months. We've been together for four months. Oh, my God, I'm so in love. Fall off that wedding wagon for a second. Yeah, let them that that dopamine or something new fall down and then you get to see like hey, this we really average, we really like hey, but you're not spectacular, like you lied to me. Yeah, man, and I'm holding back because I don't like you forever At what age do you feel and let's speak from a perspective where our kids are now adults At what age would you like for your children to be married?

Speaker 1: 45:23

Because we've answered this question for ourselves. You know, and I'm everybody tell him, like you know, by the time I'm 30, you know we've answered it for ourselves. But now, at what age would you like your children to be married or to see them be married? To be honest, man, I probably would. Somewhere in their 20s, somewhere in their 20s, but I would, I would suggest, late 20s. Yeah, when he has set some career goals, he has knocked some things down At the same time, he's lived life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's gonna turn some shit up and knock it down, but that he's experienced some things. He's got out there to explore and discover and actually take his time walking into that commitment, as I spoke to wifey about briefly a little bit earlier, man, and you know, just freedom speakers, I'm speaking from myself and some men or some people, but if you identify with this, then I'm kind of speaking to you. But this is primarily for men.

Speaker 1: 46:28

I stated like men don't marry for love. Ok, I know we asked you to marry us, but generally it's not out of love. Ok, we Marriage is the business deal of thing. Ok, I have to care for you and trust you. Remember, love for most men is not even in our top three or four things that we need. It might be in the top four or four, we don't grow up. You know, I'll get my dream wedding. The girls have. They aspire to be, just to be a bride. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, I can't wait to be a groom. You never heard no little boy say that, ever, never will One of y'all.

Speaker 1: 47:08

So me expressing that's her like hey, man, we marry more for the business deal, it's more of the the end for us, of us, you know, with our any other partner, this is who we choose and to be. Unless our marriage is set up or discussed to be that we marry multiple. So you know, her view was like well, yeah, you guys are the last guys that, like we deal with. I'm like that is true, apparently sometimes, yeah. However, I'm like men don't aspire to be married.

Speaker 1: 47:39

Women, most women, aspire to get married because, hey, this is, this is a status thing. I got the man, I got this, I got that, I got boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Men is still at work, still a continuation of, hey, man, I'm got to take care of this and this is what I'm stepping into. Keep in mind, man, I love being married and I feel like being married is the ultimate disciplines, the ultimate commitment. Man and men submit more than women. So Us just kind of having that conversation and me expressing it like hey, you know, men don't, men generally, men generally don't marry for love. Yeah, you know, this man is already in love with you and he, how he proves to himself how much he loves you was how much he takes care of you, how much he the challenges that he handles that keeps it together for y'all. You know, he, he, the lion in the home and normally he lounging until it's his turn, until he got to show up and he got to do what he need to do. Let that man do what he need to do to stay prepared for when? This, when the shit. You know what I'm saying? Sure man, what did? Let me ask you this what is your, what's on your top five list of needs In your marriage? No particular order. No particular order.

Speaker 1: 49:10

I'm a touch person. First, I am a I'm very poetic, I'm very I'm a deep brother, I'm a deep intellectual, philosophical, mental, stimulated kind of kind of kind of man. So I need that mental stimulation, I need the physical stimulation. You don't even have to say words to me. The air can be filled with sounds of music or laughter of the children, or just the TV playing, just some some white noise, they call it. Just some white noise. Yeah, we had some scissor playing last night in the background. We was just chilling. That was a cool little vibe. So I feel, I feel what you're saying A cool vibe, man, some ambience set up.

Speaker 1: 49:55

I need laughter.

Speaker 1: 49:56

Like I said, I need that. I need to laugh. That's a, that's a dopamine kick of just that medicine. Laughter is medicine before medicine. I need affirmation, I need that powerful word spoken into me, because I speak that word often into a lot of people. So that's a recharge that I do need.

Speaker 1: 50:15

I do need to get those compliments back. I do need to get those. I love you, black man, from a black woman statements. I do need to get that a you such a man. I love what you do and keep doing what you do. I need those. I need to not feel taken for granted. Yeah, I need to not feel deprived of meeting or feeling like I'm meeting the expectation or mark and I'm not being compensated back in the way of being showered by love, showered with praise, and not just like in the cheerleader applaud. But I know exactly what you mean, because it's like it's not even on a hey, I did something, you did something back sometime without.

Speaker 1: 51:02

What I want in return is something totally different. You know what I'm saying. If I'm doing what you want or need me to do as a husband, and I'm doing it because I want to do it, not not even because it's what I'm supposed to do as a husband, but it's because, hey, I love you and I want to do this for you, I want to be this for you what I want in return and sometimes I don't want the same thing from you that I give to you I want my wife to be. You know, my, my soother. You know what I mean, yeah, yeah, my peace, my happy place. You know what I'm saying. Just come to your room, rub my back. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 51:44

You good, you need anything, I'm cool, or just a get the kids together and a dinner. Yet that's about it, as long as I get to feel we cool. You know, a little goes a long way. A little goes a long, long way, and I know you and I, man, we give a, we give a lot of ourselves, yeah, yeah, yeah For sure, a lot of ourselves. So you know, it's nice, man, to just to just get a little bit of, a little bit of ROI, just a little bit Mm. Hmm, you know it ain't got to be a profit. Just, you know I got a little bit back. She blew me a kiss from the corner, right, right.

Speaker 1: 52:24

So I sent wifey a post on social media and it attends to three ways to bless each spouse in the love language. Hmm, so just, I send little things like this is little hints. I send little things like this of like I'm practicing to myself, um, and it's like hey, man, we live in an age of information. Man, most of the things that you want is on the internet. You want a better relationship with your kids? Information's on the internet. You want a better relationship with your spouse? It's on the internet. Shout out to D Tronics the age of Jefferson. She used two of those lines last night as a person that promotes information and we live in an information age, but those was two of her things that she said. Like you want better relations with things or people or understanding, the information is on the internet. It's not going to solve all your problems, but it gives you a base and head starting, information from people giving their own studies or whatever, and it can inspire to help anybody.

Speaker 1: 53:22

But that being said, I'm going to read off a couple of things for each one that it has. So for people who are words of affirmation, it says one send them a meaningful text message. Two leave an encouraging note for them to find. Three tell them I love you because and fill in the rest. So those are the three, four words of affirmation. The next are acts of service. One complete a chore they typically do. Two pack their lunch for the week or the next day. Three run a few errands for them. Those are the three acts of service. I thought get some head was going to be in there, but that should have been number one. That's a massage. We call that massage Mark.

Speaker 1: 54:20

Next is receiving gifts. So one surprise them with a cup of coffee or tea. Two, send them flowers or lunch at work. Three, pick their favorite meal on your way home, or snack. What, oh, that rounds out receiving gifts. I like pop, um. Next is quality time Take a walk outside together. It's the first one. Spend time with them doing their favorite activity, like in head, like I am giving you know or or fixation sometimes. But then the last one is Sounds bad.

Speaker 1: 55:08

Saying is after pray. I mean after he had prayed with them. Somebody was just on their knees. So, hey, why you down there? Let's just think the Lord, keep your head bowed. And what's the jury? Why you down there? What's the jury? Prayer, be alright. So next is physical touch says give them a kiss, just because. Next is put your arm around them and hold their hand while out in public. And and then the third is hug them as a greeting or a goodbye, and that runs out the three things that people Can do for the five.

Speaker 1: 56:00

Love, I feel like. I feel like the love language thing is. I Feel like it's for women primarily, not that it can't be for men, but I feel like it's primarily for women. And I feel like, because, to me, man, I Someone said if someone asked me my love language, I have to respect. That's the top of the list, that's my love language, that's what makes me feel Love and appreciate it. Respecting me, respecting my way, you know what I mean, respecting my direction, you know what I mean. That's just me, and nowhere in the love language little dictionary Doesn't say anything about respect. Now, the respect comes with these things, you know, and I hope so, new hopes up. They don't say nothing about head in there and that's the ultimate respect. Got a problem with that? Okay, the president got head before All of them did. That's the ultimate respect. All right, come on now, get that man. He, he Stimulating the community, giving jobs. He should receive a blower. Right, my own love language thing.

Speaker 1: 57:08

But if I had to pick from that list, I would go. I would go ask service, and I have one active service in mind. It's not here. I primarily take our children to school, from school, and it would be big to me, you know, to just get a Text message saying hey, when you get off, come straight home, I'll pick up. I would love that. Every once in a while, every once a month, one day Out of the month.

Speaker 1: 57:43

Baby, that's a key For you. I just gave you a key. You ain't even gotta try to find out the cold. None of that shit. I you got keys, gave you a key, but um, and another would be um, what is it, uh, uh, physical touch.

Speaker 1: 58:01

Is it physical touch or affectionate touch? Physical touch, physical touch, physical touch, man and not, and not the physical touch in a way of you know, not, not, not cut it with me, although they could be one, but when I think of physical touch, I think about that back rub, and I'm not even talking about the massage, I'm talking about a. You know I touch you real quick, sir. No, no, all right. Well, just you know why. You sitting there with me and just you know we watching tv. Just what are you making back? Just wanted, oh, I got you know what I mean, and they ain't got to take your shirt off. Put your hand up my shirt. Hey, I was actually thinking on the back rub side of like you land on your stomach and she like on your land, like on your lower back, with like rubbing your upper back and that too.

Speaker 1: 58:56

But you know, that's something that I'm more so kind of happening private. You know, I'm sure, for sure, this, this the the back row, I'm talking about it. Some we can do in front of our mamas, oh, you're using with the church back, yeah, not even, but like, put your hand in my shirt and it's just kind of like a oh, see the skin. You don't, yeah, you don't have to say, you don't have to say shit to me. You can be in full conversation with somebody else. But just, yeah, my right, yeah, yeah, girl, yeah, we about to go to, yeah, we going there tomorrow. Yeah, oh, yeah, we saw that movie that you can be in a hole.

Speaker 1: 59:26

You don't have to be giving me any auditory attention. You don't have to look at me. You know what I mean, but that's, that's enough to where I feel just, uh, this gives me all the language I need. I can hear you talking Through the, the strokes of your supple hands. I can feel the yeah, okay, baby, you had a long. I can hear you talking to me just through your hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is a transference of energy, yeah, okay.

Speaker 1: 59:53

So I'll say this, and this is just information for the listeners, most definitely to our female listeners, who we love, and we want to make sure that we're educating you on this information of us as men. You know we're not all men, but we are part of that group and we are some of the ones that speak freely Uh, for for ourselves and for anybody that pretty much agree with us. Um, most men do not like to be taken for granted, most definitely when we are the ones that are looked to by society to protect and provide. Okay. So, being taken for granted of someone that's protecting and providing which, now break that down to you for a second. Yeah, break it down.

Speaker 1: 1:00:32

If the man is protecting you, that means you get to, you get to roam generally anywhere that you want and you're safe. No harm should come your way. And if this person is providing to you Wherever you go, you are gaining access to things and possessions of your choice and choosing. So, if this person is providing you with things to be able to have it to a leisure and they're protecting you so that you can go Anywhere within the world that you want, uh, you know how to think speaking, but you can go anywhere that you want and you have this protection of this man. He does not want to feel taken for granted. Of all you really want, it was Protection and to be provided for, and you didn't want to give or have. You didn't want to offer protection or providing anything to him for sure. Remember, those aren't just the two things that are stuck to us as men. Those are things that we share, but we lead there, okay, are.

Speaker 1: 1:01:31

Are you able to be this man's spouse and protect his emotions and provide for him the supple things that he need us, such as a back rub, yep, such as a warm meal, such as the children are actually taken care of, because this man has just been fighting the day? Can you care for the kids Fighting the day? Can you do that for him, more than just treating him like a chore, yeah, treating him like an item Of? Hey, look, I got a man. I put on some clothes, I got him a smile, fit some shoes. Look, girl, I got one. I don't really know what to do with him, but I got one, okay.

Speaker 1: 1:02:10

So, um, uh, quote that I have and it was a. It was a conversation that I actually wanted to have and it led. It started from um, a person that I was, you know, talking to and counseling that was fresh out of a marriage and just could not understand really why the marriage didn't work. And just how she Just spoke to me as a man made me feel like I can understand just in the most vague way of why it potentially didn't work. Because Permission to speak freely, absolutely you already know. You can clearly tell that she's never loved a man and the man never loved her and, uh, she looks at him for monetary things and possessions that he's only as good as what he can provide for her at that time, if she still likes it. And it didn't make him feel well, especially on the gains that he was making as a person of Building relationships and things inside of the world. Yeah, so Me getting the chance to hear her and talk to her and we get to kind of unpack a little bit about what she went through or what, what they went through and why it didn't work. Because she felt like she was doing everything correct and One of the biggest things was he couldn't speak to her, couldn't talk to her, couldn't? Everything felt like an attack. Everything felt like whatever he was trying to bring to her attention about what he wanted was.

Speaker 1: 1:03:38

I'm already giving you to, I'm already. You want me to suck your dick and I'm sucking your dick. What else you want from me? It's like, can you put some spit on it? Yeah, oh, I think. Uh, I ain't sucking your dick, no more. It's like you almost really wasn't For real if we put in the realm of that, but it's. But you're using that as the example of like can I critique? Can I give you some more than you, feeling like you've given me what it is and it's not what I need? You give me what you want to give me. I want you to want To give me what I need and not just give me what I need because you're supposed to, or chore like it's sure, do you enjoy doing the dishes? No, however, it's got to be done, it's got to be.

Speaker 1: 1:04:20

That's what my son said to me one day when it's crazy. Yeah, I had, we had got him a computer desk for Christmas and I had to put it together. They're gonna come to me just like this, I guess. Hey, dad, I know having to put that desk together is gonna be hard and it's not fun, but when you're doing something that you don't find fun, you have to find fun in it. Thanks a lot for the desk dad, and that's one of them times I just wanted to punch my son in the chest like as you, being a sarcastic asshole, get on my face. We didn't get that from his father, so I can't be but so upset, can't even be mad, can't even be upset. But that being said, if, like, amen for the man that gets up and fight the day, man, can you take care of things? You take care of things. Uh, so I bring your full circle on the young lady that um spoke to.

Speaker 1: 1:05:14

Her situation scenario brought me into a quote that I generally use, or I kind of find me using it more often. Um Excuse me, and it goes she knows she's supposed to have a man, but does she know how to have a man? Does she? She knows she's supposed to have one, but does she know how to have one? Break that down One more time. Okay, because they need to hear that for sure, for sure. So the quote I came up with just from having a council consultation with with the young lady was she knows she's supposed to have a man, but does she know how to have a man? Steve Harvey got women trying to think like a man but he's not telling them how to have one. Okay, I don't want her thinking like me Telling me what better fucking football plays and routes to be thrown when we watch the game. You know offensive court and I'm the defensive court. They didn't fuck it, we're gonna do that. But that I came up with that because In her, in this situation, and she she didn't take any Accountability, that she did anything wrong and she felt like she gave her best efforts.

Speaker 1: 1:06:38

There was nothing she could have done more. She felt so drained from just everything and the things that she would address that he needed. Just from the from the council point standpoint, it seemed very simplistic as a man, yeah, and I want to just give you know a disclaimer um, ain't therapy and counseling and just places where you're able to vent and give that information. Uh, the person that you're vint to is not there to to bond with you over your traumatic experiences or to high five you of Whatever similarities they may have. You know bonding with you over, you know, issues or drama or trauma, because y'all, y'all got that similar with each other. That's not there the cases to help you unpack of. Um, what could, what you could, potentially could have done better with other healthy outcomes, and how to grow from where this, where you are and get past certain step points, that that that brought you to potentially needing to unpack, needing to be able to be Focaled about some things. And if you don't know who's sighing forward, is man research and google signal for it.

Speaker 1: 1:07:41

Um, I believe in the cure for most mental illnesses is through dialogue, to be able to communicate and get that thing out of you, to be able to speak and be able to put that into existence and not harbor it within yourself. Yeah, we have to talk there, we'll be able to get it out. That's a skill, but I digress. So when I would get a chance to you know, hear her and ask her to just certain exercises? Hey, I want this week, I would like for you to tell five strangers that you meet Something nice about them, that you, that something tells the five strangers male strangers something nice about them. Can you? I would, I would like to get that information back.

Speaker 1: 1:08:26

And it seemed that it was all we, all. He was trying. It is or it was. It just was one of those like I love you, black woman, and I'm not in no romantic type of way, but I love you so much to feel like I want to correct you, because whoever hurts you, you shouldn't have to spill that hurt on everybody. And you got this false notion of I want my man to be nice to me but shitty to all other women. Keep in mind you, another woman to another man, so he only nice to his woman but he can disrespect the fuck out of you because you belong to somebody else.

Speaker 1: 1:08:59

Yeah, take that, take that shit out your mind a little bit when you flip it, because I remember I think we spoke about that once before I'm not sure if it was on the show or not but you see, I want my woman to represent me. Well, you know what I mean and that that doesn't mean to. You know, let motherfuckers cross boundaries and shit like that. We know what they are. Let's, let's not be ridiculous. However, be nice, be nice, be pleasant, be a lady.

Speaker 1: 1:09:30

And If a motherfucker cross a line you know what I'm saying then it's like I'm married, in which my wife actually shared with me. She was approaching the grocery store, you know, and I had to sit. I had to sit with myself for a second there like you lying motherfucker. You ain't say that shit. No, it's like, how do I, how do I feel about this? Mm-hmm, yeah, how do I feel, you know? And she came home and told me, because this guy, she was like every aisle I went in, this motherfucker was coming. Oh, yeah, usually people go from, like you know, stopping back or with the front or Having a bitch like no, every time I skipped, I went back to a, I went to let him, came back and it was there. You know what I'm saying. He got his ass green first, like me, but uh, but she came home and told me like, yeah, it's kind of like, hey, you know, I forget what he's, what she said, he said, but she's kind of, I'm married, but not being I don't know what I don't want my woman doing is Good.

Speaker 1: 1:10:27

No, or just ignoring it, just continue to talk about somebody speaking to you. That's rude, mm-hmm, you know what I mean. Don't be no nasty bitch. However, you can just hey, no, I'm married. Or if someone, if a guy is trying to talk to you, even if it is kind of him, I'm sorry. What'd you say? Oh, I'm, thank you so much, but I'm married, you know. Thank you, have a nice day.

Speaker 1: 1:10:49

Ain't gonna own about your way. Ain't gonna own about your way, mm-hmm. You know, gentlemen, let me talk to y'all real quick. The woman say that shit and you keep trying to press. You need your ass beat, stop right there. But, um, but no, I don't, I don't want my woman, being nasty, rude, snooty, represent me. Well, you know what I mean when I bring, uh, when I bring my friends around. You know my friends are now in extension and extension of me. You know what I mean. So, treat my guys right. Hey, y'all, y'all want something to eat. Amazing Toast is true. Oh, whatever, fuck it. Y'all can be in here, I will be in there. Yeah, you know, like in the country, they do this. Your boys need anything. All right, now, just holler. Yeah, ain't gonna own about our way. Hospitality Ho, I can't spare that, don't you need? Spare me. I don't care. It is healthy and it is a huge thing to have your spouse represent. You will, uh, most definitely.

Speaker 1: 1:11:54

I know we spoke a lot about the women and I want to just give a disclaimer here for a second. So, all of the freedom speakers and all of our listeners and everybody that we're gonna hope to gain over the years and times. Um, I'm hope to hope to break a negative narrative that is pushed with the men who do these podcast shows, such as ourselves, who take the time to just bash and be negative and be little and dog and drag women, that is. We do not do that here. Okay, this is. I do it because some of y'all have to start.

Speaker 1: 1:12:26

There's a section Of young ladies who need a ton of correction that they and they refuse to accept the correction. All of this shit come out of love. You know what? You was reading my notes. I bashed the fuck out you. I'm sorry, did I read you? I was gonna say there are a select few that need Some tough levels. Seem like it's about 70 percent of y'all, but I don't have the numbers, but I do know it's more than none. It's more than none but we hope to give that tough love or that male figure and male healthy information and of somebody that you can research our lives, you can look us up. You know our social media is kind of a show and express we're married and just if you follow in our catalog on our show man, we're very transparent.

Speaker 1: 1:13:15

This is permission to speak freely, so we're not here to Gail and be argumentive with you and just try to bash you because, to be honest, I guess where I come from is I get to see a lot of these beautiful ass women really don't fucking know. Yeah, they don't know, and I say that just so graciously, so, so, so modestly, but just like, hey, baby, I could tell you ain't been around perfection, and not that I'm perfect, but this is something that I'm striving for. Yo Jesus that you look for, you try to make yourself in the image of him. So if I say I'm trying to strive to be in another perfection of myself, what is, what is the difference? What's the difference of us having a goal to want to grow, but hey, I come around you For the last six months and you still in the same place you've been in the last six years. But we want to argue with growth is and what.

Speaker 1: 1:14:00

I'm trying to educate you on some things that I'm doing and that's new found to me. But hey, it's, it's a turnoff to you, because it ain't the latest trend of ski, it ain't but lincey yaka, it ain't, it ain't. It ain't appealing to the eye, it's not attractive to the mind and it's like that shit is so deep that I don't about the wrong shit. I cannot connect it's a word for it Like sapio-sexual I can.

Speaker 1: 1:14:30

I'm turned on and aroused by information, by knowledge, someone who's intelligent, not just the exterior beauty, because that can be altered, that can be altered Like quickly, that can be altered. We talked about that. Okay, your soul can be altering to where your personality can be altering to, but that's a really, that's a real, real work, that's real time put in of like, hey, how used to be and I say for myself I used to be a generous asshole and I just became less of an asshole, that's it, that's it Just became less of an asshole, because I'm still an asshole, I still will be that. My confidence is just up there to feel like, hey, I'm that, not to diminish anybody else, but hey, you should feel that great about yourself, especially if you feel good enough to talk down on another motherfucker. You should feel you should be up in the level of a place to yourself to feel good at least about yourself or to be able to give somebody a compliment Not that you got the strength to talk down on them and only talk up to you about yourself.

Speaker 1: 1:15:35

Can you talk up about somebody else? Can you give them their flowers. Can you apologize? That's a big one. Can you take accountability? Yeah, that was my fault. I could have been better. That was wrong. Can you remember, man, I'm a fighter and all fight same physical book. Some people can't say that. So the enough select group that I get to see of women that can I love them? I love them so much. And then it's the group that I get to see that don't I love them, but I teach them.

Speaker 1: 1:16:13

I teach them because it's like, hey, baby, I can tell somebody ain't been around that that cared enough to educate you, or stick around long enough to teach you, or even sometimes this lessons has to be brutal. It can't be the guidance counselor way hey, we're going to get you in the right curriculum and push you right where you need to push, to take your strong suits and build around them. It's like, hey, bitch, you need to learn how to say no and you not saying no, how landed you and fucked up shit. You don't know how to say no, you know how to get out. Let me educate you, because obviously somebody praying teach you this, let me. This is why that is the teacher in there, but it ain't always gentle, okay, but it's so. This is why I give a little bit of grace. That's remember. That's healthy masculinity, grace is healthy masculinity. And I just couldn't you at your thought and throwing you out because you won't learn the lesson Business taught me this man.

Speaker 1: 1:17:15

Every time of every time a talented person that comes through our door make a mistake, we let him go. We wouldn't have anybody, I wouldn't be here, we wouldn't be here. But it's a man. Everybody should have some. Everybody has room for growth and correction. If you don't allow yourself to be corrected, it's not the teacher's fault.

Speaker 1: 1:17:38

The teacher can continuously be as creative as they can be to try to connect with you, and if they're not able to connect with you, is it the teacher's fault? Is it the teacher's fault? Am I supposed to continuously push for something that is not there or that's there's a blockage, that I'm spending too much, too much time? I'm spending too much time trying to grow you and I'm actually depleting myself. I'm having to stop my growth and wait for you to catch up. Who does that shit, teachers? They stopped their growth or store or minimize their growth to nurture something else.

Speaker 1: 1:18:28

I can't be a teacher for so long, or that woman ain't trying to teach that man everything he needed to know, or that man ain't trying to teach that woman everything she needed to know? A lot of things they will need to know and learn together. But if you can't, his baby, I'm trying to educate you, I'm trying to be simplistic with it, I'm trying to make sure that I'm being of assistance with you and I'm getting some slack. That shit is extremely disgusting. It's extremely disgusting. It's like you don't know. No, no, thank you for passing through. We got this guy. I got to sever that just due to like my own mental health, my own sanity for yourself, or what are you attached to?

Speaker 1: 1:19:16

If you the queen of your empire and that man is dragging you down or he talks to that pollute show whole empire because what? How many good decisions or great decisions will you make under the influence of heartbreak, under the influence of a betrayal? You do not feel in love or you take them for granted. You think that man is going. Most men are not faithful when they feel deprived. Okay, when they feel taken for granted, they are not. They will find satisfaction somewhere and not, which is generalized that most people will. But I'm a man so I can't speak for what a woman would do, but I knew what men would do. Most men more men than them will seek satisfaction in some kind of way, and wherever shape or form it may be. To feel validated, to feel like, hey, man, I'm putting work in for something, I need something back in return. I'm not just the tool to work for you, because then I'm a slave. You know, I'm saying I can't do that, can not do that. So most men for most people, do not like to be taken for granted.

Speaker 1: 1:20:22

Most people choose other avenues to soothe themselves when they feel hurt or bruised. Their ego is hurt, their feelings are hurt and most of these things are natural reactions to just things that we do, man, and these are not the best moves, but these are not at all what we default to. Yeah, humans ain't perfect. Humans don't default to what's best. A lot of times you know if we're doing something that's best for us, think about it. And when you got to put yourself first, what does that mean? That means, hey, I can't help you right now. So, like this has nothing to do with you or how I feel about you, I would love to help you, I can't right now. So if I need to seek satisfaction, in whatever form that may be. It doesn't have. It has nothing to do with you. It's all about me and being selfish right now. You know, necessarily, yeah, and selfish sometimes is necessary.

Speaker 1: 1:21:19

Selfish ain't always a bad thing, supposed to be selfish. Sometimes Selfish has a negative narrative around it, as if doing for yourself is a bad thing. Yeah, and you selfish. Yeah, yeah, and you poor, because you want me to give to you what you can't get. Your motherfucking self and me being, you know, me being a selfless. How am I never going to put myself first? Where do selfless people gain? Dope, dramatic pause on that one. Yeah, but where do selfless people gain? What do they get? Their get back? A lot of times they don't. They don't, they don't even have nobody to talk to.

Speaker 1: 1:22:06

It's trendy now, you know, people post. Now, you know, check on your strong friend. Check on your strong friend, check on the person who always check up on you and who's sitting back listening to them. And, to be honest, if we speaking clear, that only became a thing when suicide rates in black men skyrocketed. Check your numbers, that's, that's, that wasn't that, that was. When black men start committing suicide, then it's check on your strong friends, check on this, check on that If you need to talk to someone, so on and so forth, meaning not to alienate anyone else who deals with mental health. Meaning that really became a push when it became an epidemic that a black man are being taken out at an extreme rate, at a, at an extinction rate. Okay, this is why we protect them.

Speaker 1: 1:23:04

We love our boys so much and we love our children so much. But it is. It is a treacherous, treacherous world. It is a this is, as we spoke about before man gentle. It is not a gentle world. So being a gentle parent is not going to popably sharpen up all the skills that you need. Come back to vitamin A. You know what I'm saying. What I don't want to happen is and I expressed it to my son and I even get to see it in my peers yeah, I don't want my child to be able to come back and say, hey, you didn't teach me anything, you didn't expose me to anything or very little, when I can expose you to as much as I can with the time frame that I had and I'm very creative that I'll create a whole scenario for you to go see things or do things and experience things. However, I do believe in. There's some things that you do and you must have to teach yourself. I have to teach my son problem solving thing. Yeah, because as an adult, I have to learn the problem solve, as we, as fathers, we tell our boys.

Speaker 1: 1:24:04

Most of the time, everything normally breaks down into the original love language. For me, you ain't gonna get no money pussy, or you ain't gonna sleep fucking well. If you ain't, if you ain't protecting yourself, you ain't handling shit for yourself. Man, if you ain't got a certain level of respect for yourself, okay, ain't no one ain't a woman gonna want to get you no pussy. Ain't nobody gonna want you on a team to help making sure you got money to do the shit that you want to do. And if you ain't getting no pussy, you ain't getting no money. You probably ain't gonna feel like fucking eating and you damn sure ain't gonna goddamn sleep. Food is an option. Okay, nigga, sleeping good, fucking good, and motherfucking you're making some money. Yeah, nigga starve.

Speaker 1: 1:24:44

If he can fuck, eat and take a nap, he would sleep the pain off. Take a pain, feel, but just being as transparent as we can and speaking freely as we can. Raw, straight truth. Man, you want to listen to other podcasts. They want to be simplifying things for you or making it politically correct. Man, no, turn into some other place, turn into another station and hear that permission to speak freely, we speaking freely about what it really is. Be honest, keeping the real cannot keep it more real with you than a.

Speaker 1: 1:25:16

It is hard out here for everyone, but if the man is the head, he is what strike the first For sure. Okay, protect him, black woman, love him, black woman, and I promise you in return you find you a quality black man. He will rise up for you. He would continue to dig and push himself to make sure y'all are good. But he is only as strong as the woman that is next to him. Okay, you can multiply that and y'all can really take over the world, but that's another conversation. But are you strong enough to handle just the one nigga you got? Can you, can that woman handle just the one man? Remember, it can go that way. She can have two, three, four, five different men if she can handle that, if she can love him or protect him and take care of them all. But most of the time, most of the time, the woman who plays second, third fiddle decide. Woman is an easier role for her Because it's less expectation, she doesn't have to meet a certain criteria.

Speaker 1: 1:26:10

It's hard to be the main bitch. Okay, it's hard to be the queen bitch because when you got the iron you, you having a certain title, you asking women, asking you how you get your man to do this or do that or whatever, and it's like, to be honest, it ain't really you, it's him. So, not to be disrespectful to, but it's like hey, I speak for myself, I wouldn't have a house if it wasn't for my wife because, remember, I forget a lot of things walking through 3100 square feet of livable space. I live in the garage, my man cave is in the garage. I would live in a studio apartment if I didn't have a family, but at the same time I like nice shit I wouldn't steal, I would have whatever I could afford, but the budget that I got now I probably will be on the second planet, around the corner from the fucking moon If I have to pay all the damn taxes, the taxes and expenses and bills and shit. But I, but men normally producing bill great things for the community or their family.

Speaker 1: 1:27:18

Most men do not need most things. They don't. Mainly do we. Simple as motherfucker. As a motherfucker, women try to make us more mysterious than what we are because they want to be so mysterious. And that's a cool thing to a degree. But when it's like, bitch, I ain't got the time, oh, I'm simple, I'm easy. That's why we had the chair, tv, air mattress. Sometimes this would be cool for a few months so far, at some point. Income tax coming, my sister in white, I can't hurt you, yeah, especially for a young man. A lot of times we get this shit for y'all. I want her to be comfortable when she come over here. Yeah, I go kind of go candle shopping with I do like him, I like him.

Speaker 1: 1:28:06

I remember when I lived on my own and I have my own spot, man, when I suggest everyone to live on their own at least for a few years. You like, that's a really big, healthy place to learn and know yourself, you know in your own solitude. But I had company come over one time and though I was dating, this was like part of love. It wasn't, I want to say, but like I was dating. But she came over to my place and was just observing, looking around and keep my. I was raised by women my sister's, my mama, my aunt since that. So I'm really programmed most definitely with, like, their keen sight of things or paying attention to things.

Speaker 1: 1:28:42

She come with the scan in the whole place, looking all around and everything. She was like, oh, you got a bitch to live here with you. I'm like what you? I'm like, no, this my own shit. No, this is too clean, this is smell too nice. Nigga, you got matching. She like you got a matching bathroom towel set that nobody puts the touch. Niggas don't have that decorative towel. I'm like, hey, I'm not. I am rare as what they call me. I'm rare at the same time.

Speaker 1: 1:29:11

The bitch who did help me fuck the decorate was my mama. I don't call my mama no bitch, come on, mama no bitch. I don't call my mama no bitch and I ain't trying to she proud lady. I ain't trying to call no whole no bitch, but it's one of them with like, I still, my mother still taught me to be domestic. I still knew how to cook clean wash, take care of myself, go balance a checkbook. I would, I didn't. I wasn't slinging paying, getting my bills paid at this time I was. I was fucking women paying they should short on mine. Yeah, you know I'm saying like every woman I'm meeting it's short on shit. All all the all y'all are irresponsible. It's just the ones I was choosing probably more hair on me, more money spent on their hair and nails and shit. Then paying the light bill they put next year in about candlelight and they fucking pay the goddamn be straight up and down.

Speaker 1: 1:29:58

So let's, let's go into this real quick Now. Let's switch gears. This is something we touched on you and I just touched on earlier today. It's in normal conversation Reading speakers, the chairman, and now we do speak outside of the show as well. For show, in case y'all didn't realize, the next episode we do it will be the month of October, four quarter.

Speaker 1: 1:30:31

The year is winding down, coming to an end. We've been through the transition period, the transformation as we call it. You know, self development. The holidays is coming up Now.

Speaker 1: 1:30:50

For me, the holidays, it kind of put me in a kind of put me in a strange mood. You know, much like I talked about the transformation period and how I'm looking looking to grow, to be better, to develop, to get stronger, to get on a routine, a schedule, to be on my shit. The holidays is almost almost a counter to that, because I tend to get like a little bit of that holiday depression. You know that Christmas really stressed me to fuck, not like the holiday itself, but the expectation around Christmas. Yeah, you know what I mean Like I'm not even sure what I fully mean by that, but it's just, you know, shit gotta be done, just buying presents and shit. You know, my wife, you want to get shit for her mother, fuck body. It's like I tell her, fuck, I ain't seen them in three years. They don't really like us. I don't think Shit, fuck, you know.

Speaker 1: 1:31:51

So I'm like where in the fuck did we find a whole another, like $1,500, to be getting shit? Where was this $1,500? Right, right, right, right. Where did we cut ourselves? You could have used that shit. We need a new couch, two up.

Speaker 1: 1:32:05

But but I kind of fall into that man. I told you this earlier, man, grandmama been gone eight years now and the holidays do not get easier. Man, that lady you know got up out of here on me, on us, on all of us, you know, backing up. What was it? May 2015. And the shit still hurt, man, because really around that time, man, thanksgiving, christmas. That's when you, you know, I don't even know how to explain it, man, but I heard not being there. The shit different. The shit different Because I look forward to to grandma being around, is hearing her voice, just in the, in the ambiance of everything else. You know what I'm saying, grandma.

Speaker 1: 1:32:56

I've been saying something, it's that Naton, though Just you know what I mean Give them direction to the aunties and cousins and shit on how to not put a little. Put a little pinch, just a pinch, grandma, what's the pinch, like my pitch, different from your pinch? Just a bit. It's black math how we measure shit. You got a finger, field finger, full pinch, a handful, you know. A touch, just a dash. A dash, a drip, I get it Splash.

Speaker 1: 1:33:24

But but, no, man, it don't get easier, man, year by year. Man, I missed that lady to death, man, and um, it's something I've been wanting to do for the last few years, man, y'all might think I'm corny, but what grandma used to do, man, she used to send my uncle to the bank and get a whole bunch of fresh crispy I'm talking crisp, so crispy. Then, bitches, be stuck together, man, five dollar bills. Hmm, you know what I'm saying Fresh mint, whatever year it is, that's the year these bitches is and, like that crisp, crispy man, go to the bank, get some five dollar bills and some holiday envelopes with a little hole for the president face and she just give everybody, everybody, five dollars. Grandma give Five dollar. If I, I get 10 sometime.

Speaker 1: 1:34:13

Ha ha, girl, about babies, I'll grab my baby, I'll grab my baby, but, um, but I want to, um, you know, just take on that tradition, if you will, and what she used to do and to gift, um, you know, my, my entire family. It'd be like I did the math, it was like a hundred ten dollars worth of people I want to get. Yeah, that's still a lot of people. That's like I was like 35 dollars, it was like a hundred ten dollars worth of worth of files. I want to give out shit, man, and, and you know, and still sign it like from grandma you know what I'm saying, because ultimately it's from her, because she, you know, she got that on my heart. You know what I mean. Um, but that's something I want to do and got to it yet, man, but I will. It might be this year, it might be next year, man, and I think everybody who I gift.

Speaker 1: 1:35:13

You know, one of these crisp. They got to be crispy. I can't be coming with some old wrinkle, 1996 five dollar bills. I got to come with A dollar bill that been in the ass. Yeah, I can't come with those. I got to come with the old booty smelling money. I got to come right.

Speaker 1: 1:35:30

That's how grandma did it. You know what I mean. I got to go to US bank 900. Okay, you know what I'm saying. I citizens, you know what I mean? No, pnc, none of that shit you bought. Okay, none of that. But I got to get the US to get some of them, some of them envelopes, and do it, do it like grandma did it. Man, rest in peace. Grandma, love you, miss you and you know I'll see you soon. I'll see you soon.

Speaker 1: 1:35:58

Yeah, man, I think that's a beautiful way, as we mentioned before tradition and keeping our families alive or loved ones alive, just carrying on traditions, things that they do. They say I'm pretty sure it'll warm your heart to pass that on to the family and then the family getting a chance to see it in me like ain't, nobody did this. This grandma, yeah, but now you'll be, you know, and they don't know, they don't know it's gonna hit them Like, it's gonna like and I don't even want to get nobody in their fields, man, but when they see that, that you got that envelope, they gonna like, aw, damn, just nigga, hit us with the bills. He on that bud. You know, look, grandma, baby, yeah, and my grandmother, um, I believe, I believe she, um, she only had like a third or fourth grade education, so her handwriting wasn't the best. So we used to always crack jokes but then grandma handwriting rough as mother, fuck. You know my grandmother's great in Alabama, yeah, born in Wisconsin, ended up moving down to Alabama when she was uh, before she could even remember. So you know, she from Alabama and back then growing up in the, in the in the 40s, born in the 20s but growing up in the 40s and 50s, um, you know you would have to leave school to help support your family, work on the farm and stuff like that. You know my family. They were, um, they were they, they on the farm, they ran a farm, they sharecroppers. Yeah, I'm talking, I'm talking, uh, syrup. This is a grand grandma told me I'm talking syrup, I'm talking uh milk, uh, peas. A picture of my uncle, james, who was on like this. It looked like a. It looked like a bike, like a tricycle, but it's pretty much like a built machine that you would have to get on and ride and the machine kind of picked the peas. I'm like a tractor that you would have to. You gotta get on this picture. That's why everybody was fit, yeah, straight up, man, but this is where my family come from, man, so that was, that was another thing. Like I'm a sign with my left hand, my hand right, and it looked like grandma. She love me for that. She love that. You know, man. But uh and y'all, I'm resting peace to my uncle Curry as well, man, he's another soul.

Speaker 1: 1:38:04

That, uh, that my family lost this back in 2009. You know, it was before my grandmother passed and my grandmother lost her baby boy. Um, actually the the day before I graduated high school, the day before my high school graduation, man. So that was an emotional roller coaster. You know, um, this picture, matter of fact, man, this picture right here the day I graduated, obviously, and that's a big ass cap. I can see it on that picture. You can't. You can't necessarily tell, but if you look at my grandmother face, man, she's smiling in this photo. She's very happy, but only 24 hours earlier she got the news that she lost her baby boy and we all went to the house and, you know, broken news to her, and I remember sitting at that table while my uncle Lawrence and uncle James told her that, uh, you know, lee Curry passed away and she, just she, was in the bed. Give me a, give me a. Oh no, I just remember, man, that you know that's something I never, ever, ever, ever forget.

Speaker 1: 1:39:14

But you know, one thing that I can appreciate is, after my senior prom, uh, I was able to go up to the hospital and see uncle you know what I mean. So he was able to check me out. He was tired, he could barely open his eyes to look at me, but he, he opened them up for nephew for a little bit. Like, check me out. You know what I'm saying. Lcp, I got that LCP on, you know. But uh, we shared the same initials man, me, my uncle Curry, man, but, um, but that was, uh, I mean, you know I, I'm getting all my, my bad man. Oh you, good bro, get, get, get it out, man. So I want to say this um, I openly identified with my depression, yeah, and it, it strikes me more during, like seasonal, during the, it strikes me more, it strikes me more during the later of the year.

Speaker 1: 1:40:08

Yeah, and just me being a conspiracy theorist type of person, right, I studied different religions and things of that nature. Um, pagans were always made fun of because of the celebrations and holidays and things of that nature, most definitely towards the end of the year, but just kind of thinking in the most vague way that I could, uh, who really had and remember they probably did most definitely celebrate and have some tradition and rituals that were not, uh, that were frowned upon, if you will. But that's another conversation. We're just going to keep it vague. Of man, a celebration, a party of some sort. I'm never afraid to have a celebration or a party, so I can understand the level of paganism of like man. They, they celebrated, whatever Cause, even us. Now, even though you like I don't do Christmas this, that you will spread the break, little June, june, get out of jail for the fourth time. You will celebrate your fifth baby on your uh, you like we know you can get pregnant, you got that, okay, we know you got that.

Speaker 1: 1:41:11

Yeah, but having a having a good time, most definitely around those time a year where um family needs to be close. These are events and gatherings where family comes close. So you can argue with paganism and religion all day long. With the thing that I do pull from it is I'm more aware. I'm never turning my nose down per se for a healthy celebration, you know. Especially that can bring camaraderie and that's close together.

Speaker 1: 1:41:36

Especially during that time where we all are speaking about, we are feeling some kind of way. You need to be close to your family and not just in tragedy, but just like hey I'm. We need to have fun. Can I have fun with y'all? Can I come hang out? Can y'all come hang out with me? Can we anybody got to die to party? Anybody got to have no baby, to have good spaghetti and meatballs and chicken and wear a Burberry button up and easy to fly for three hours. And then we spoke weeks and what we supposed to.

Speaker 1: 1:42:07

You know, family events go good, but I say that meant so I identify with, with my depression, man, and then it comes in a level of um. A lot of it comes through survivor's remorse of surviving certain things and being able to speak about it and tell it or having a certain esteem of myself and when I had to get a chance to fourth dimension or fifth dimension view of myself like a outer body experience, see myself. It's one of those like, wow, I'm here, this is their little oozy. All my friends are dead, not physically, but emotionally.

Speaker 1: 1:42:49

Being on your own path of doing your own thing, whatever it may be, becomes very lonely. Because, very lonely, because how many people think like you? How many people can you convince with saying your head is correct or what you're built? This is why when you build it into the world, then they come, because when you was telling them before this is what it's going to be, you ain't fucked. You crazy, you crazy.

Speaker 1: 1:43:13

Now, when you build, it is always believed in you. You know how. Believed in you. No, you didn't Cause bitch. I didn't even believe in my fucking self at the time. So how did you always believe Don't kiss my ass unless I asked you to please. But it's one of those man. So it's difficult to know who really for you. Who is she really nice to you because she want to be nice to you, or does she need something for you that you have trying to get? Trying to get somebody? It can't be out here saving home. We all know how to cake.

Speaker 1: 1:43:53

Nigga had a cape. I had to burn that bitch. I was saving bitches for a minute. It just wasn't healthy. My selfless person giving shit, ain't getting shit back. That become the tyrant that takes over the town, nigga. That become the villain. That's how you become a simp, as nigga. That's how you start simping, just plain, being too silly, just goofy, just to not not having some discipline or some principle of life. No, not peeping gang, nope, nope, nope.

Speaker 1: 1:44:21

I said man, I feel I purposely around this time of year as it gets into the later year, and I know my emotions can, can they become stronger. They can get, they can get the best of me. If I don't, if I don't reset myself. I had to learn to reset myself. I had to learn to take myself out of experiences and situations and place me where I needed to be. This is why we'll. I call it. I'm on the hunt, I'm searching, I'm seeking, I'm searching for a goal. There's a, there's a puzzle, there's a lot of things. I need more, I need, I need more, I need more. I need more, I need more, I want more, I demand more. I want more Because I, because I give more and I want more to offer more.

Speaker 1: 1:45:06

I need those who are just as hungry as me, not complacent of you. You not content? That word isn't, isn't in my vocabulary content. Are you content with their children? Are you content with just the growth that they have? You don't want them to be as great as they can be. You don't want them to surpass you. Isn't that the formula, though? Isn't that the formula for them to be better than you the next time around? Absolutely, that's what I was thinking. So and I just used that as an example of no content is not in there you know what's better than one million there, two, two or a few Couple, we all can get a couple million dollars, but meaning like hey, why would I be content with just me doing? I'm complacent? Why? Why? No, I don't. Nobody who was hungry or just trying to strive for things is content or complacent.

Speaker 1: 1:46:01

Do you think trees are complacent at the height that they sit, or do they continuously grow? Do they continuously grow to the sun, towards the sun? Do they continuously grow towards where water is? No, they do not. I am a part of nature. I identify with that and I pull from that. If the trees don't stop growing, if animals don't stop migrating, if the world don't stop spinning and turning, why the fuck would I be content and complacent with where I am now?

Speaker 1: 1:46:30

Man, god got shit greater for me. I got shit greater for me now. If God helping somebody fucking else right now, I need some more than me. You got to know he ain't making no bitch ass person. He's like oh he all right, man, he's handling shit. I need help. This other motherfucker that ain't found me yet I can keep throwing. I'm throwing him signs, hopefully come around. You know what I'm saying, what I need that love man. I'm built for that. I'm built for the community I'm built for. That's what a strong man or strong person brings to the family is the community. It brings the love, it brings the structure, it brings the family wouldn't write. Since Big Mama passed, this big mama kept water. Ok, it went. It's the family. Ain't been right since Paw Paw passed.

Speaker 1: 1:47:17

The Paw Paw kicked your ass and he used to put in transmissions with his bare hand. He has crushed the shit out your hand. You got a strong, firm hand straight. He'll beat your ass. That's real. That's Paw Paw bro. That's Paw Paw. Fuck you up. Shake my hand, boy. Shake my hand. Hope that we tell our boys man, strong hands mean a man, strong hands make a man. I'm the man that shakes a man hand firm and I get tight hugs to women. That's a man, that's masculinity. I shake the shit out your husband hand and I give a tight old love. Baby Like you, safe with me, do they want me? But just just to respect that woman. Don't want no bitch ass hug from you. You get her a tight hug. That means something.

Speaker 1: 1:47:59

Yeah, I remember giving my mom a shout out to my mom. They mama on a hug one time and she had. She had quit from us. She had quit us for a while. She went on the high for a little bitch. She had to work out her own things for a while. But when she came back around I had gave mama one of them.

Speaker 1: 1:48:15

Tight hugs that I missed you, miss you lady. I missed you mama. You were warming to me and you under my presentation. God damn it. I'm going to give you a hug because I missed your ass and gave her a tight little hug. Make her poo little bit I think I pooed it.

Speaker 1: 1:48:34

But tight hugs that she had to turn around and look me in my eyes Like, can I have another one? Yeah, I missed you too, son. And it was like they fresh out the bed, fresh out. I got them fresh, fresh batch of hugs. It just fell off the trip, come on. But one of them was like, hey, I need that energy. This isn't romantic, but I need that female energy, like I don't feel like you're going to harm me. Yeah, I feel like I can be. I can tell you like my stress is of a. Hey, mama, when you hear me bitching and complaining around the house, I'm just paying bills, you know. You just bring me a cup of tea. I'm having a bad day, mama, because this one bill didn't go through with this contract.

Speaker 1: 1:49:17

It flopped. We had to turn away a six-figured thing because, hey, it was so many red flags and I know we really needed that. But hey, mama, I had to lay off some things, I had to fire some people and then they threatened, they screen shot at my house Like they know where I was going to live, so you might want to leave. They going to shoot up my shit. You feel safe here because I shoot back. Well, I actually shoot first. But, mama, you feel OK with that? You feel safe here, but just giving an example of like hey, feel comfortable with me. I'm like, hey, he not going to let no bullshit happen For sure. Why? Because I've seen this man demonstrate his power. I've seen him demonstrate his grace, seen him just demonstrate his protection. It's why I feel comfortable being around this mama. I feel comfortable around my son, but end of mama, mama, mama. She's like you want mama, you want mama, queen, simone, straight up man.

Speaker 1: 1:50:13

So, to round it out, seasonal depression is real people. It is Check on your friends, check on your family, check on your loved ones. What I personally do for people that I care for. Shout out to all of those who I send a wellness check to I love you directly. I love you so much and I make sure that you are in my mind enough that I reach out, because sometimes just being acknowledged is enough, just being like, hey, somebody else is thinking of me and I'm not just thinking of myself.

Speaker 1: 1:50:43

Yeah, for sure, and it's OK. And it's OK, it ain't nothing wrong with you need to talk to somebody. You got somebody in your life you can trust. And if you don't, hey, hit us up For sure. Facebook, on Instagram, let low the most Hit up. Chief, our League. Our permission to number two speak freely. We here, but just hoping that you got somebody in your life who you can rap with, who you can lay the heavy stuff down to, because it get heavy, man, even heavy Life, get heavy Life, get mad heavy. We hope that y'all learn something today. We hope that we touched y'all today, hope that y'all felt something that maybe y'all hadn't felt from us before. We went for quite some time this evening and we appreciate y'all for listening, appreciate y'all for watching. Any questions, comments, concerns, let us know. Permission to speak freely.