Gentle Parenting, Discipline Dilemmas, and Surviving the Middle-School Gauntlet

Staring down the very essence of parenting, we've unearthed some profound insights on raising middle-schoolers from our personal experiences. The challenge? Balancing gentle parenting with the necessary dose of tough love. You're about to embark on a journey of understanding the disciplinary strategies we apply, the values we instill - respect, accountability, self-reliance - and the rewarding lessons we've learned on this bumpy ride. We share an intriguing episode involving my son, KJ, and the unique methodology we follow to ensure he rises above.

From the concept of gentle parenting to the importance of teaching respect and accountability, we cover it all - without advocating physical punishment. Ever wondered how gender roles, expectations in relationships, and the notion of a "deadbeat/absent father" affect our behavior? How about the importance of teaching children to handle adversity early on? Well, buckle up, because we're also talking about these. And let's not forget the role of fathers and the ability of gentle words to influence a child's trajectory while navigating the teenage years.

Then there's self-care, relaxation techniques, and stress management - all essential elements to surviving the parental gauntlet. We discuss the therapeutic magic hidden within simple tasks like mowing the lawn and the profound sense of accomplishment and relaxation they offer. But what about intimacy, laughter, and satisfaction in relationships? Oh yes, we'll also delve into the importance of taking breaks, finding relaxation, and releasing stress. So get ready for a session packed with practical advice, shared laughter, and relatable tales from the parenting trenches.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Middle School Challenges and Parenting Lessons
• 8:27 Discipline and Parenting Strategies
• 18:43 Parental Discipline and the Role of Fathers
• 24:01 Discipline and Comedy With Family
• 27:02 Gentle Parenting in Fatherhood
• 35:04 Gender Roles and Expectations in Relationships
• 46:28 Respectful Relationships and Boundaries
• 59:53 Parenting and Bonding With Children
• 1:06:52 Relaxation Techniques and Self-Care Practices
• 1:17:31 Importance of Encouragement and Managing Stress
• 1:30:07 Importance of Intimacy, Laughter, Satisfaction
• 1:36:39 Protecting and Caring in Relationships
• 1:44:39 Moving Forward and Building the Future

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Look at Josh, I'm like an Iron man came through. Who's that Josh? Yeah, he Iron man. I think he got hit by a car. Damn, josh, I'm sorry bro, I'm gonna get body Like, not a car. I said I'm gonna get hit by a car Like a vehicle, like a moving car, vehicle Like car. I hope your mom is saying this, I'm sorry, bro. Damn yeah, the Big Roofing. No, this is an old video. Get well soon, bro.

Speaker 1: 0:27

I ain't cut my hair just for the pants. I haven't grown my hair yet, you will, I'll cut it. Damn, yeah, josh, ain't seen me yet, man. Yeah, I went on and cut it off. Bro, I'm trying to look like you. I'm back in the wave game. All my brothers feel like they was killing me on the wave game. I joined the lock club. Now I'm back.

Speaker 1: 0:45

Y'all watch all that, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he did surprise a lot of us, man, with locking up and then changing up, changing the style, man. But it's, it's with. It is worth it. We, we fold it, we hear with it, we're going to go ahead and get it. We don't let it do what it do. Permission to speak freely, mission to speak what's happening. So let's do what we do, man. So, first off, man, what's been what's been going on this week? What's been going this week, not just with you, what's been going on out in the world that has grabbed your interest? What's what's some hot shit going on.

Speaker 1: 1:21

Well, man, the Browns actually was what got me, man. I was watching the Browns game and I actually enjoyed seeing the Brown show up, them getting that win over the Bengals, the Battle of Ohio. So I was really good and really happy about seeing that man. That made me feel real happy. The defense to me really look like they were there. It looked like they had some key players that wanted to show up. They got, I think, 24 or 28 new people on the roster on a 52. Yeah, 52. 53.

Speaker 1: 1:52

I think I think they broke Joe Barrow. I think they broke him. I saw some. I didn't read it, you know. So I don't want to be putting out no false information, but I believe that what? A week or two after Joe Cool got his big contract, he got benched. I'm not sure if he'd be starting this week. That's what I saw. Ok, on the article, I don't know if they, I don't know, I don't know. That's just what I saw. I didn't look into it. I didn't read it. But the Browns defense broken man.

Speaker 1: 2:27

The Browns, for a while now, have had the Bengals number. This had their number, no matter how poorly the Browns were doing. When it comes to the Bengals, it's like we're going to show up. We're going to show up. So I mean, I was happy to see it. Man, the defense looked fucking amazing, as they should Applaud the defense.

Speaker 1: 2:47

Secondary. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness, against that receiving core, come on. Yeah, against that quarterback. Yeah, and I know it was wet, rainy, fuck. That that's part of the game, that's conditions. Man, we in the Midwest they would have looked at a Brady that couldn't handle that. Yeah for sure they didn't look at Rodgers to handle that. Oh man, don't give me man, right, you heard, yeah, another contract, another move, another person out. Yeah, you know what man Get well soon. And Rodgers, man Towards Achilles.

Speaker 1: 3:27

Was it Achilles or ACL? Something? Man, he got hurt First, first series, new team. You know the, the, the, the and Rodgers era in New York, the jets, it's come to a pause. And he older man, you don't necessarily.

Speaker 1: 3:45

It's tough to come back from an injury like that, especially at his age and his career. You know when Kobe tore his, it was kind of like, hey, it's, it's just the end, but Kobe is Kobe. Is Kobe, yeah, when direct tour? He is, yeah, he did. But the realm is a lot younger than Kobe and a lot younger than, uh, aaron Rodgers. And honestly, and we talking about on the drop back, I don't want to be trying to scientifically see who used the Achilles more quarterback, dropping back or pushing the ball up the court. But nigga, that's not the case. I'm not going to be trying to get him to do that. I'm not going to be trying to get him to do that. We don't come back from the court. But, nigga, that's a that's pretty important in tendons, yeah, sure, but you know, so, um, you know, I wasn't exactly getting there and doing the same for the Jets man, we shall see, all right, man.

Speaker 1: 4:28

So I'll tell you this man, other projects that I've been working on, the other things that this been happenin this week. Man is, I've been dad and a like, and that's kinda one of the things we've been saying a lot, especially school, is it? Yeah, oh, had to cuss my son out on where that happens. Man, not custom out, but give him that tough. You know, I'm saying, like brothers on you do Sixth grade, middle school, ain't nobody finish beholding your hand through this, it's on you For sure.

Speaker 1: 4:56

If you don't give a damn what I look, I can't care more than you. That's crazy down, you know. But uh, but go ahead, man, I mean no, no, you, good man, this, this is the place is big for me. Yeah, man, the shit, the shit hurt man. So he's so much, he's so much better than that man, he's so smart, he's so sharp, he's such a such a great guy, man, be, be a great student. And I almost can't even be too upset, man, because I was a good kid coming up, but I was a bad student as well. I wasn't turning shit in, you know, I'm saying I was Doing Google ball shit, not being not focusing on the main thing, focusing on the bullshit.

Speaker 1: 5:37

And he kind of carry in that same trait. But the difference is, nigga, you got me Facts, facts. I ain't had me, I had me, but you got me. And if I got to be on you every single day, that's what it's gonna be. But I don't want to have to be on your back like that. I want you to feel Relaxed. I don't want to have to manage you and constantly be on you. But if that's what you showing me, that you need to hit them, books and get better. It ain't even about what it's Get, get your shit done. Facts, take care of business, you know. I'm saying because, again, man, welcome, welcome to the big league, welcome to middle school.

Speaker 1: 6:15

And if you think this is tough, ain't nobody definitely holding your hand when you get to high school, let alone Just being out in the world. You're just life, it's on you, dog, you got to get in there and get it done. 11 years old and it's in. And that's pressure for an 11 year old, but it's good pressure. In middle school, he gonna, he gonna struggle, he got to get it. It's a transition period, yeah, you know. However, dog, you better than that. Make sure you own your shit, son, and that's just what I'm trying to drive home with him right now, man, but he what, he gonna get it.

Speaker 1: 6:47

Man, what's up with you in the in the dang thing? Yeah, man, so we we having, we running into them difficulties to with him. Sixth grade, middle school, is more strict than, yeah, elementary school, where you can get away with childish, goofy things and what it just slap on the wrist. But now middle school and up you getting kicked in the ass Because you're not on top of what you need to be on top of, yeah.

Speaker 1: 7:13

So Wifey and I had this conversation just a man, just the gentle parenting narrative, because kind of that's really what we was kind of going for, trying to See if we could gentle parent like may not be so abrasive with them, but that, what is he showing you in return? Has he shown you, mom, dad, that shit ain't gonna work? Y'all got fuck me up, man, he, what is he shown? So I understand now a lot of things coming full circle of your parent being like man, I know you better than you know you, mm-hmm. So I'm getting to see like man, my, my son, he he's gonna be to get the best out of him, and it may be just men, because I need that certain level of challenge and pressure and conflict to kind of Exercise myself and show what I am. Yeah, he performs better under pressure. So I have to that. That pressure has to be there of a I'm a, I'm a. Fuck you up, yeah, and I'm a follow through where it came through like I can't bluff because almost for 34 he ain't get no ass whippings.

Speaker 1: 8:27

During COVID I was emotionally not they well in the world a lot during the cold. I was not emotionally well enough to like Disciplined and it was like what is he doing for real? You know what's that? What is he doing to get an ass whippin? So but now that you know we were getting some level of a Normalcy and he's getting it back in the school. There's like the third year of transition back into like classroom setting, if you will, second or third year. But now that he's in a middle school he received a detention on like the fourth day of school. So I'm like, hey, man, that's very embarrassing, because I know you're better than that King. I'm like you know how smart you are, no, handsome you are. That really doesn't make you look as best as you can be.

Speaker 1: 9:12

And it was on the sub. The sub was out and that was the night of open house. Oh, I'm a dad. I'm an active dad. I'm a dad that I'm involved. So I'm in there and I go up to the school and it's very informal, so many kids and everything. Like you can't Talk to each parent about every little thing. That's one of those like here's a video where we're doing 362nd video. That's really it. Come in, get familiar, nice to meet you. I'm, since he's audition, so nice to meet you. I expect great things. Oh, that's the classroom. This is this, the lunch room. Okay, this show side Okay, all right, grab a muffin, get the fuck out. That's pretty much how it was, man. So we get there and it's all cool, smooth, hunky-dory. The next day, Vanessa get a call from the teacher like hey, kj and others was in school trying to be seen, and that was the phrase use. Like he was trying to be seen and ended up getting himself put on that list where he got a detention to serve. Hmm.

Speaker 1: 10:17

So I like to think of myself sometime as Michael Kyle, as a TV dad from the TV show, my wife and kids. Damian Wayne is one of my favorite people and for my favorite actors, comedians of all time Shout out to him in a way, his family in my family dynamic. To me, I'm either Keenan I every some days, but I'm most definitely definitely fucking dammit. Do you want to? The big bro, yeah, I'm one of the big roads. So, but, that being said, I hit him with the my wife and kids dad. Okay, man, and I'm a, torture you through chores and activities in the home. I'm a mess with your mental more than me. Whoop your ass.

Speaker 1: 10:57

He ended up finding and just my approach, my thought. He didn't say, but this is what I feel Am I the heart of dads? This was fun to him, this was a game, because it was no pain. There was no physical pain. It was yeah, I can't be on my phone, I can't go outside, I can't hang out with my friends, I can't do this and that, but I ain't hurt, I ain't crying, yeah, I'm, as I can still sneak some shit in here and there, but he felt okay with it when he was up on that.

Speaker 1: 11:32

So they following Tuesday, after Labor Day, he was supposed to serve his detention on Tuesday. He did not show up for his detention and I'm driving there to go get him. That's the call. Me like this boy didn't show up at home. It's wasted gas, wasted gas time. I was sleep too. So it's really like me. You don't wake up a dad while he's asleep. It ain't 450 nine, but I'm like man. So on my way back home, I'm like man, I'm gonna go here in a whoop his ass. I've been bluffing, I've been saying I've been whoop his ass for 1096 days and ain't nothing happened. He playing. He already had some other things compiled and it was like man, he got this one come, oh yeah.

Speaker 1: 12:16

So, as I explained to him, man, this is where the narrative of gentle parenting comes in. Gentle parenting doesn't always work, because the world isn't gentle Not at all All right. So I don't feel secure in myself from my teachings if I'm giving him a path where he doesn't have to deal with conflict, he doesn't have to resolve conflict, where he doesn't have to take accountability early within his own space. Hey, did you Not clean this kitchen? Did you not let the dogs out? Did you not cut the grass? Did you not do your homework? Just things of that nature of just you. So, that being said, I digress.

Speaker 1: 13:02

I Whoop his asses on some parent types, shit of like hey, man, let me talk to you, let me let you know I'm gonna hit you on your juicy parts, on your thighs, on your ass, and I'm not even a whoop, you're sad up there. Man, me neither, what. It was one of those like this gonna hurt me, my son hair or thigh, leg on some tap. Move, get out of here. Don't do that. Remember with him he got that coming too. But at the same time it's like, alright, I need you to drop down and give me 20 push, give me some jump. Oh, don't, bro, let me. Hey, man too, don't get started on the physical, something that you are gonna do to First build your body and build your mental. Your nephew was fucking up. This was no, this one.

Speaker 1: 13:53

Last year man, this year before last, said a couple cuss words at school. I'm gonna tell you about your knees too, thank you. They be saying the big one, not damn in the ass. They be saying bitch and fuck like oh oh, oh, oh, they got personality, yeah. But uh, man got an email from the two, took him outside, took him outside.

Speaker 1: 14:15

We running, we running, we running. Till you tell me you tired of running. Will you tell me you tired of running? Hey, I do some push-up. Go Russell, oh, do some push up. You tell you tired of doing push up, get up, start running again. Bro, almost, almost killed him, almost killed him, and then it's time to run home. My neighbor asked me. I never even met him before. We about six houses down.

Speaker 1: 14:37

He said what he trained him for some no fucking up in school. He probably got it for me. But regardless, you know you ain't supposed to be talking like that. Fact you know saying, you know he's supposed to be talking like that. But at the end, man, when it's the one week we out there running, he tied, get the push-up. Yeah, I get up, start running. Arms tired and get back to running. Legs tired, get back to push-ups. And it's raining outside there. Then they got coach proud about this. Motherfucker, I ain't playing major pain.

Speaker 1: 15:11

So when it's over with, hey, we bought the run up, don't let me beat you home. And to take off, start fucking run, just, oh shit. So let's go, let me make sure I got this straight you out there. Oh yeah, I got this straight you out there. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, I wanted to, I wanted to. I'm in the street, he on the sidewalk yeah, I'm that day.

Speaker 1: 15:31

Yeah, as I tell KJ when I'm like all right, man, you got to do these push-ups, you got to do these sit-ups, you got to do these squats, you got to do these laps, I'm on her with you. I'm like what with me? You got me doing it with you. Yeah, can't ever say you ain't see nobody do it straight up. But that's what I tell him. But I also hitting with the. I'm older than you. Yeah, what is it? We let me beat you home, bruh. Don't let me, don't, let me beat you on some of these.

Speaker 1: 15:59

You young blood, straight up. You, bruh, do man, this shit, I'm getting goosebumps. Man, let's talk about this. Dad, shit man, because I would rather Notting flick pain on you. I would rather you do something that's gonna help you grow ultimately. Yeah, you gonna feel that shit in the morning like, yeah, damn, I feel like I got my ass. But you see, you push yourself in the way I need you to push yourself, the same way I need you to Push yourself. Make sure you take care of business and getting your shit done. You push yourself physically and you push yourself mentally because when you got tired, hold me, you stop, you turn. Yeah, you talk, but you ain't no stopping. I know stop. And when you're really tired of doing this, we're doing something else Running and push ups in the rain, nice little brisk little rain outside.

Speaker 1: 16:47

It was like you cool. It was like cool it was. It was how I was with, at least how I was with, but it was, it was real. Remember the Titans s? But you know, showing him that and I'll tell you what man. We got back to the house, gave him find a little pep talk and we went on the house and before we went in the house he told me he said Thanks, dad, like he told me, thanks Bro, we out press.

Speaker 1: 17:24

First of all, it's well into the night when I saw this email. I had to wake him up. You win 80s parent early 90s parents. I had to wake him up. So it's definitely passing. I want to say was about 10, 30 and I had to wake him up. Hey, show him the phone. Look. Hey, what, what is this? I got your from your teacher today. He was probably all day just hoping that. I hope he ain't got the message. Hey dad, what you doing, check on my temperature and shit. Hey, you know I'm saying I ain't checking my email yet. You know I'm saying, hey, that's like a kid on house party Trying to see you at it. Hey dad, you gonna work tonight? Yeah, why, why, right, fuck, you won't.

Speaker 1: 18:16

But it was one of those man and really when he went in, when he said, when he said thank you, and you remember when y'all was about to go to comic Con, you had to bounce on his ass. That was another day. You about to get out here and run, but to get it here, fuck man, you got to push yourself. I ain't got a whoop you, I ain't got a hand on and gotta lay a hand on you, but you gonna feel this. That reminds me about a line when I was a kid.

Speaker 1: 18:43

One of my mother's got friends. At this time I just kind of gave her a little pep talk of like a hey man, don't be keep whooping that boy ass, like that, cuz one day he gonna become a man and he ain't gonna be ever gonna get. Gonna keep doing that. No, she like whatever, whatever, whatever. Whatever the narrative was or notion was at that time. But the line that he used was Don't whoop his ass, make him whoop his own ass and that's where it came into the play of that make them start working out, run, so on and so forth. And it actually Got me built at the age that I was one, because it was like you, ever, as a parent, you ever whooped your kid ass.

Speaker 1: 19:22

Or you remember, on the opposite end, I remember I remember my mother's final attempt in whooping me Nick, I was liking the Tim Gray and my brother, my brother, I walk in the house cuz you know niggas out, you know I had a cell phone, mama, calling I'm probably out there, you know, saying sniffing little something doing. So I ain't doing too much, I'm just not answering the phone. I get home. It wasn't even late late, it was just a fact that she ain't know where I was and I didn't come home after school. Sorry, ma, I understand the worry now you know.

Speaker 1: 19:59

But um, coming to house, malicious, say like 10 o'clock at night, how old were you? Oh, and you been going since what time? I never came home from school like I went. Yeah, I'm gonna say the bus coming like shit, I'm outside, nick, it never came home. Ain't tell my mom I was that. Probably talk to me. Yeah, mom, on the way home. Mommy, make it home from work Before I do shit. Now she trying to call where you at, where you at, I Not answering phone and shit, probably put the shit on silent. Nigga, put in my party and whatever they. I'm out here. Yeah, I don't like 10 o'clock, 10, 30 at night.

Speaker 1: 20:45

Nigga, I walk in the door. No, and my brother Lamar that, nigga, you had my back like you supposed to. Damn, bro, he did at the same time, but he just ain't. I walk in the house. I'm gonna get now he trying to call me to, you know, saying so. I walk in the house, my mama and him sitting at the, the dining room table. It's pretty much the first, you know, little area. You walk in in the apartment and I walk in my mama. Where you be, I'll turn around, put the little latch on the door.

Speaker 1: 21:18

Nigga, she hit me like on my thigh twice. Listen, my brother, go ma, like ma. You know damn well, anybody whoops. I got like six inches on her now, you know, and I just continue latching the door. She hitting me. I, you know it's like Processing it now, wasn't the dough does like. I know this abuse is coming out of love. Yeah, it's kind of like you. I Didn't call back, right, I'm sorry, I just left. Surely how I'm gonna be here crying now? You feel like a real man right now. My brother hit her with the ma. Come on About the wolf, this nigga man and it had it has. It doesn't have much to do with Size and stature, is more so to do it like. Why you hitting me like, like this don't hurt, even if you come with a belt and try to like give me a whole whooping session. It's kind of like ma, chill out, you know, say we can resolve this.

Speaker 1: 22:39

I remember one day, cuz my mom forgot my brother was was worse to me man, my older brother, my mama, used to act to have to throw, like throw hands, not with this nigga, but throw hands on this nigga. He put his hands up more so to defend himself, like yo, ma, like that right, kind of like she go, you put your fucking hands up on me. It's like no, I'm trying to like counter. You know, defense may, whether my, you know, show the road. It's like this is defense, it's all defense. I ain't swinging back, I'm just kind of. You know you will offense, chin down, but uh, no, man the whoopin's.

Speaker 1: 23:22

To get to a point in a young man and I imagine a young woman's life where a ma the whoopin's Am out of there, you know, and that's at that time where we need we need the dads in Our lives to really that. That's when it's time really, about eight, nine years old, for practice for sure, heading into them, years where it's like Send them, send them to dad. Daddy, he over there in the other room, hey, you go to your father. Now I ain't whooping you no more. You go to your daddy, you know saying you know what to do with you, mm-hmm. That reminds me a KJ, so I'm gonna bring a full circle on him. Man, I got a.

Speaker 1: 24:01

My stand-up comedy gonna be about my family. I'm gonna put a Kevin Hart one and be like all my content coming from my family. So KJ first. But I remember KJ had to be maybe in kindergarten, maybe, yeah, kindergarten maybe.

Speaker 1: 24:18

And Vanessa, I was in a man cave in a basement. He's living out in the strongs. We go if Vanessa come dragging him downstairs. I was a cold-ass man, was man, but uh, vanessa came dragging him downstairs by his hand, straight black mama-esque, and was like Tell your daddy what you did. Flick this nigga. Go check your daddy what you did.

Speaker 1: 24:44

He like I'm watching football, bro. I'm like I'm like you're came to interrupt me on this shit. Man, what the fuck is you eating Legos? I'm like, oh my god, I'm like man, okay. It's like whoop his ass. I'm like I'm not as mad as you. Like I'm happy my team winning, I got money on this. I'm at Zen right now. You want me at 10 real quick and I can't do that. But like I'm not mad, I'm concerned. I'm sitting back like why you look, whoop his ass. What you should just told me after like a, he swallowed Lego, I whooped his ass.

Speaker 1: 25:43

What we gonna do about it if you do this shit again, just letting you know, was it like the big one with eight? Or like Small enough to digest and not die 11? So the point is he had man. We. I'm like, oh, it's like whoop his ass. So I'm like you want a mommy whooping or daddy with me I'm gonna mommy whooping, because mommy whoop is a less Mommy whoop is like mr Meaners. Yeah, you know, I'm saying little, little things, not something real heavy. You know, a quick little pop in the chest, like maybe like three. Yeah, she's gonna sit down, she on clothes and hit him too much, like she might hit him in the chest, but it's more like a backhand pop in the mouth.

Speaker 1: 26:31

Dad whoopings are more kind of location based. It's more like a Get your ass in that room. We're about to do this. You know, saying mom is kind of on site, we can do it wherever. Yeah, dad's is, our shit requires some privacy, understood. It's mommy not gonna like this and I learned Whenever cuz remember I still mourn you might know you, some of us more having a discipline that I had Cuz I like him, cuz I like him.

Speaker 1: 27:02

Man, you know, I like him, I love him like a motherfucker. You, my boy, you my oldest boy, my, and I tell him like, amen, you will thank me, you will be my friend once you and I have more in common yeah, I might. Once you become a dad, or once you start Dating more, once you kind of start having to Step into more adult Things that I'm just now stepping into, then we'll have more to to talk about on that friend level. Right now, man, I'm more your god, I'm more your teacher. I love you more in this phase, I'm like, but as you we get older and you become my friend, I'll become more in love with you because I'm watching you from a from a third. I've heard of you.

Speaker 1: 27:50

If, like now, my son has his sons or has his daughter and he's in and I get to sit in the Rock and Cheer, smoking, sipping my whiskey, cuz I'm gonna probably keep drinking that to to whatever, but just getting to see him, you know I'm saying so as I tell him now like, hey, bring it for a circle Whenever you have to place that level of love on him, and it's a level of tough love and you got a morning and and wifey can't stand to see it. Yeah, you doing it right. Yeah, it's like it's necessary for this, this level, because it's like I can't. I Can't see what you. And that's why it gets to a point to when they around legit like eight years old, start like, yeah, it's like a Go, you need to be outside with daddy now, even if you just watch him, whatever daddy doing with it, hey, you, you with him. You know saying like the nurturing has been taken care of, let's go get some of this nature in that. You know saying, right, that down, go get some this. Now you need to start to grow into a man and it's practice at first. You know saying we're about to have him outside wrestling alligators that eight years old, but you gonna see how it's doing. You know saying oh, okay, yeah, but um, but now man, so just take a quick vote.

Speaker 1: 29:15

Gentle parenting and your experience does it work? So to me, gentle parenting Most of the time will not work, because the world is in general, there is a space and a place for gentle parenting and I actually feel like Gentle parenting, I'll put it into the box of like, amen, the gentle parenting I'll push. I'll say I'll even change my narrative the gentle parenting I'll push is the lectures and the education that I give. That's the gentle parenting, because whatever pain or punishment I place on you is because of love. The world has a place. That it all. That the world has a place in a pain that it'll give you that. That even I'm saying to myself as your father, like hey, I don't even want no wreck with that, straight up.

Speaker 1: 30:09

My job is to get you equipped and handled in a way that you can. You can handle the world, you can rule the world. If I can't get you equipped at home or handle the pain from love at home, how do I expect for you to handle the pain of your employer? How do I expect for you to handle the pain of your spouse? Exactly, how do I can't? I can't because what happened is, if I don't teach you how to Conflict, resolving things, how to muscle through and tough through you, you'll grow up as most men, as his own father, giving him truth, transparency.

Speaker 1: 30:43

Dad had a bitch ass nigga streak for a minute where I couldn't handle my emotions and the nigga got wild and most of the time when niggas get wild, that's what land they ask. In jail because they had a bitch motherfucker moment, lost a motion, did something and got locked the fuck up. Nigga couldn't keep his cool. So I'm like the world got a place for niggas that can't keep they cool, that can't resolve the issues, that can't handle Adversity. And if you can't handle that from at home, from somebody that loves you, that's teaching you how do you expect to handle it in the world. That's real. So I give him that, that real game, I give him that lecture. So that's the gentle parenting, because the world got a place that it'll put us both, my nigga, yeah, straight up, straight up.

Speaker 1: 31:34

Too much you don't make it home to me, yeah, or lack of that tough love, you know that that that's shaking backfire, mm-hmm. I need you to have a balance of, about a healthy balance of fear and and respect of what's your father gonna think. You know, back in the day in households, see, a lot of our, a lot of our fathers Die back in the war. Father died when he was real young. Perhaps he was a baby. You never even met your father. However, there was a photo of your father in that house and when you fucking up your mother gonna say, I Wonder what your father would think. And even though you didn't even get a chance to build a relationship with your father, you, you built a relationship With the thought of your father being that he's not even physically there, mm-hmm. However, when that line is put on you by your mother, I wonder what your father would think. What would your father think? And it's kind of like you know, saying I didn't simple get hit with that shit in the lion king. I'm gonna have to go back and watch, but it was one of those like what was your father think? Oh, yeah, what it is like, fuck. So that nigga, we important, we important. And I got a champion, us mama's to y'all the shit. Okay, y'all day is coming, but they turn about father.

Speaker 1: 33:01

We talk about fathers right now. Y'all is the fathers are the ones. See, we, the ones that, that, that, that, that get the bad rap in mass. You know, I'm saying we get the niggas ain't shit and we get a lot of that. How come we can't be your picking things? She Tell them picking things. Hey, you remember seeing the uh Shorty had posted. I wish we could pick our baby fathers who took your clothes. That's what. That's what happened. Like I decorate, I wish we could pick our baby. Daddy's awesome, you pick, all right. So I say this man, we, we, we have our, our views of what it is to 10, to the kids, especially our sons. We speak the most primarily to our sons, but our daughters are in there too, because they need the daddy love as well. They need that father figure, that male figure, that healthy figure that cares for them and loves them in their presence, in In their daily lives as well. Yeah, so that kind of transitions into I'm keeping up with some of the the trends and things.

Speaker 1: 34:09

Do you feel like you want to keep up with the gentle parenting trend or not? Do you feel like keeping up? Keeping up with certain? We'll start there keeping up with the tradition of gentle parenting. Yeah, your neck, mmm, I don't know. Man, like you just explained, your definition of gentle parenting may still come off tough.

Speaker 1: 34:30

The others, the way I talk to you, you know I'm saying like I heard that that's as gentle as I'm gonna get Me really drilling into you. When I talk to you, you gonna feel my words. It's gonna hurt, you gonna cry, gentle, parent, ain't parenting ain't meant to hurt you and make you cry. It's meant for you to go. Yeah, I Understand I'll be better, but you're gonna feel me when I'm talking to you and I'm really I'm letting you know, boy, don't you know niggas? Yeah, it's really making it. That's just, that's just gentle as I'm gonna get, especially when it's necessary.

Speaker 1: 35:04

Now when it's something like a son did not, did not just tell your brother to stop jumping on the couch, but you then you felt it was okay for you to be that's gentle as well. However, it ain't necessary to be drilling into you. But when you fucking up at school, you ain't taking care of business, disrespecting your parents, doing Google ball shit. Your turn, oh, my bad. Uh, not listening to me as the parent, getting bad grades, poor attitudes, romain clean Needing to be woken up. When you got an alarm man, you better talk to him. Kj gonna say that was this morning.

Speaker 1: 35:49

I got a lot of, got a lot of material from my son. Hey, man, you know, lathan asked me a few days ago. Trash was getting a little full and I've been doing that shit on purpose lately to see you who gonna take some initiative around here, and I ain't talking about my wife, I'm talking about my boys. They gonna keep putting shit in there and putting shit in there, and putting shit in there. Now I'm mainly neat leaning on my oldest boy, something that may mean you can start doing more, man. It's the thing that you tall enough to reach the dishes in the sink and wash them dishes, at least load the dishwasher. You know, saying properly, you ought to do some shit. So I'm just, throughout the day, I'm letting the trash fill up, fill up, fill up and fill up my baby boy this week.

Speaker 1: 36:37

He say dad, can you take the trash out? They got a punch in your goddamn throat, say, almost caught you by your name and I had to get up on him. I had to get up on him and say, hey man, next time you come at me telling me asking me can I take the trash, how about can you? Can you take the trash out? Huh, you can take. The only man that helps you can tie that shit up and pull it out. Now, if you had said, hey, dad, can I help you take the trash out? Or dad, can you show me how to take the trash out? I was more so leaning on your brother footage. But since you're talking shit, tie that shit up and pull it out. That can Teacher moment. Come on, he, him and the trash can same height. Yeah, I can do it. No, you was talking shit. Come on, get it.

Speaker 1: 37:30

You saw that the trash needed to be taken out. Get it done. The same way it come with you cleaning up back. Hey, man, didn't you eat right here? You did. You throw your stuff away? Yeah, no, you do. All these crumbs on this table yours. You can brush that shit off, put it in your hand, throw it in the trash. Can you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1: 37:51

We use paper plates a lot in my house. My wife and I tend not to like dishes. I don't give a fuck about eating off paper plate. I do not take myself that serious. Hey, I'm not eating off a paper plate because should I eat out of the wrapper? Yes, whatever, I bought that shit Straight up, man. And on top of the fact, well, okay, let me do you. I do care about the planet. But a Styrofoam plate, because in paper plates you know, we black, we eat a lot of juicy shit. In paper plates it should be soaking through. You need to stack about six of them bitches together to be able to hold the motherfucking greens macaroni and cheese. I was saying, you know this, most black people do not get as much as we buy designer and shit. We do not buy top notch Styrofoam when not top notch shit. I forget that brand. My mother-in-law been getting that. That paper shit, fancy as a mother. Fuck like this. Is it like them bitches Bees? Yeah, I was them bitches.

Speaker 1: 38:51

She's the unicorn. She's different, she's more different ways of like she. She thinks and we're going to talk about my man for a second, just on the narrative, not not my man, but just to think like a man narrative. Okay, I was going to say she thinks like a man and she doesn't. She doesn't think like a man. Yeah, she acts as a woman to a man. Okay, straight up, her thinking like a man is her trying to challenge or be your masculinity?

Speaker 1: 39:26

Why the fuck is you thinking like me? Why, yeah, I don't need two niggas, I don't need, no, I don't need one. Like, if you thinking like a man, who thinking like a woman, who acting like a woman, the show ain't me. It's like I need a woman. I don't need anybody thinking like me. I'm doing enough thinking for from us, why I need you.

Speaker 1: 39:44

Yeah, it already sounds like bitch. You trying to think for me. All fucking ready. You, my woman right, trying to coach me to do shit you want me to do? I'm already, I'm already. You already sound like.

Speaker 1: 39:55

If I'm doing what you want me to do, I'm fucking thinking like you. Yeah, that's what it sounds like, more than like hey, as I had to learn even myself as a man. Like hey, no, I stand and think for myself Straight up. I have to. It won't work for me If I am that easy to be programmed on a narrative or a motion that I can see conflicts with what I want to do or doesn't help overall of like that doesn't hurt to do that, yeah, but it's one of those like hey, you're, I'm pushing you to do something that I want because I feel like it might make me happy, meaning like this person, it won't sit with our call you going to tell you know, I ain't doing that.

Speaker 1: 40:35

She figured that she just right out. Yeah, and I sit with it. Why you? Why you? Why you thinking like a man? Yeah, why you still going here? So, no, don't think like a man. Yeah, act like a woman If you act like a woman, he will act like a man. It's only natural.

Speaker 1: 41:00

I can't say all because there's more women than there are men. So if we're going to go into numbers and if it's proven, the numbers, somebody right or wrong. If there aren't very many men, that means that there aren't very many quality men. If there are more women than there are men, that means they're not that many quality women. That means there are more women that aren't particularly quality to some standard. And I just place it in the realm of like.

Speaker 1: 41:35

Most of the time, before you even get to a place of like, I don't like this person Intimately, sexually, how they're family dynamic is like. I don't care for their attitude of how they treat themselves, how they treat me or whatever. I got a chance to see around of like. Or I can't even talk to them and ask some questions of change or like hey, man, have you thought of this or thought of that Like? They're not open to that. It's that was shut it down Instantly. Yeah, so beyond anything that you're doing to enhance yourself or modify yourself, to feel good or to be attractive to the opposing eye, if your attitude is smear, it makes everything ugly. That's like that cute person or attractive person that breath. State what they say. You know, like I, he fly with this. This clothes dirty. State.

Speaker 1: 42:26

You know what Kevin Sammons used to say when women say you know, these men ain't this man, ain't shit Men, they know. He used to say who raised them? The father's been kicked out, put out, thrown in jail and out of the house since the 70s. Who raised these men? Majority women. So who's the point? I just always thought that was an interesting fact, because it's fact. It got me interested. Yeah, like, I didn't have in my neighborhood growing up. They give it wasn't no dads around. Only one who had a dad was Ernest, who was way up the block. He had his pops. Um, that was it. That's what around. I met Zay dad a couple of times. Never met juice dad. Your dad's what around? Yeah, he was mommas and grandma like your dad's do.

Speaker 1: 43:21

Purposefully female dominant. That's another argument of like. How did it get that way? That's a design For another day. That's a design. But that being said, man, I'm learning still, as myself as a man, of what it is to be a man that I'm still defining as I'm challenging myself and I'm her making over goals, of what a man is. So it's difficult for me to have someone who hasn't had to not difficult it's, it's it's unique to hear. I want to say it's difficult.

Speaker 1: 43:53

Like I can't take that directive of a woman telling me like this is what you should be, because I take what I need and discard what I don't. I'm not in an argument of state with this person to really like let what they fully say pierce me, especially if it's like I know you do not economically, and economics just a big word for like business. Um, it's a big word for business is a business savvy. So if this person doesn't economically affect me or enhance me in any kind of way, uh, I take what was needed and discard what I don't. But I'll get a chance to look at them and say you're not teaching if we, if it isn't a mirror image, excuse me and I say this a lot, even to like my wife, like hey, do you know I'm the mirror image of what's going on right here.

Speaker 1: 44:40

Trying to pull a delusion on me is like I'm not real or in existence of what's happening right now is mental abuse to me. Don't do that shit to me. You trying to make me believe something that isn't there and you, you, you, you pull it out all these stops. I'm pulling all the stops and I'm letting you know how powerful I really am. Don't let my buffoonery blind you to my brilliance. Yeah, but I don't want to. I don't want to have to get in a worm of men of like it's very short word, yeah, and I'm not going to. It's a amongst men.

Speaker 1: 45:10

When it's time for that, I'd rather be exhausted from yeah, all this year, 1000%. Then what? Huh, what's it? Go to that 1000. It go to that. It go to that. Let the man be the man. It was like it was a sit down. The adults are talking yeah, don't, don't you step over here.

Speaker 1: 45:30

But I've had to say that of like, that shit really hurt my feelings, man, and it really made me feel like you think you got the mental up on me. I'm not, you're not playing me, I'm just playing along. I'm just playing along because if it's, if it's beneficial for both ends, I'm going to go along with it. I'm going to be there for sure. But once it's like you remember, I'm still a beast that I've got to learn to tame himself. My father wasn't there to keep me in line and correct me. The world had to correct me. I had to correct me because I got a chance to, as a profit mindset, I got to predict where my future can entail and go If I continued on certain routes. I didn't need to go all the way to see this is a bad route. I double back, I'm going off. No loss, no game. I ain't game shit going this way. I ain't losing nothing going back, I'll go another fucking route.

Speaker 1: 46:28

So I've had to tame myself through my own disciplines, my own meditations, but I've had to speak up and get that war out of me. I had to speak up and say don't, don't do that to me, man. You my woman, are you my mother? Are you my sister? Are you my auntie? Are you my niece, or you my cousin, or you my brother? You my sister, are you my friend? Even you my staff, you my teammate, you my employee, you my lover, you my. Whatever title that you wear, I should be able to express Definitely do not do that to me, because this is how that makes me feel and if that is disregarded when respecting me as an option, you ain't got to love me, you ain't got to like me.

Speaker 1: 47:13

We don't even have to have fluent communication. I can understand you well enough, most people I can't think of the number, but what do you say? Most, most communication is nonverbal. They say 90%, something like that. And I'm partially fluent in American Sign Language. So shout out to my cousin BBQ, shout out to you, but I can pick up on what it is. And still, he always signed the shit.

Speaker 1: 47:38

He told me my locks wouldn't breathe. He did. I should have. That's what he heard was fake. I think it was like Shout out to like Laban. He said your locks faked. I'm like the fuck man. He said only my shoes are faked. He's like hey, how you doing? Yeah, what's up. And he do say that too. He's like you can feel the love man, show for show, show man, but teaching me different modes of communication. So when you don't even got to communicate fluent with me but I can get the message, you don't have to spread joyous tides about me. You don't have to do none of that. But you will respect me and that's respect ain't everything, but it's the only thing, especially to men. It's respect, man. Why men give men other respect? Just walking by, what's up? How you feeling Saddening Nick at any point time. He could just have a bad day. Yeah, and one of one of let out, yeah, what's going on with your brother.

Speaker 1: 48:36

It isn't mutual respect, a lot of times an unspoken, just mutual respect amongst men. You know what I'm saying? Complete strangers. They was going on with you, bruh. Hey, take it easy now. You know what I'm saying. Get the head up, boss, because we know how it is out here for us. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 48:54

Rather is dealing with the kids, the spouse, the job, the police. We know how it is for us, and so we lend you just a gratitude to say, hey, what's going on with you? You know what I'm saying, how you keep, how you, if you notice in our conversations, yeah, I never say never, never. Just people tell me never, say never. But Brandy taught me that. Brandy, father, never I'm down, say that, call on you, my friend, that's my life. Brandy is one of the women that made me like Browns and women too, yeah, yeah, but I'll tell you my wish Send it.

Speaker 1: 49:34

But amongst men we is a mutual general respect. Yeah, as we communicate with each other, we try to show each other as much love, because it is an unspoken war that men have and handle and as men who sit in certain seats that are looked at by the world as, like, we're sophisticated, we're entrepreneurial or leaders, we all of these different things. Is heavy to hear that sometime. To be told that like hey, I appreciate you, black man, I love you, black man. Yeah, the compliment that I always stay dear to my heart and I don't even know this lady name and that's sad, but more than what her name was, it was like it sticks with me when she had told me like hey, man, you are such a man and I love it, keep doing what you're doing. You just ready to break down, break. But she didn't break. I was ready to break down, bro, ready, just like hey, no matter if the world tells me I ain't shit, and I believe that I'm not shit, I believe I'm great. But if my woman or my mother tells me that I'm not shit, then I believe that I'm not shit, because why would I not believe them? It's one of them. Like you, mom, this is an undoubting love or connection.

Speaker 1: 50:57

Unison, the original I don't want to say original, like I studied this shit, but to me, just in my theory, that male, that man dealing with his mother and his wife, is a is the first polyamorous relationship. That is one of the hugest handoffs in human history. Okay, that mother, that queen, that bread, that King to lead and teach. Remember, she raised him, she teaches him. She handed him food first. She breastfed him. Hey, remember he, he latched on to her boob before he sucked on another to you. He was on hers, he came out of that vagina. Ever since then he's been trying to get the feel of it going back in it somewhere else.

Speaker 1: 51:42

When that man has a woman that he deals with, he needs the appreciation from the mother. Yeah, the or the mother has taken care of him all his life. And if they have that relationship, it is a. It is a doubting relation. Feeling to see like, hold on, you don't need me to cook for you, no more, you don't need me to, you don't want my macaroni? Yeah, and can be hard and can be hard to let go. I could only imagine. You know, see, his father's we tend to look.

Speaker 1: 52:10

I put it like this I share with my wife a milestone that one of my children doing like yeah, yeah, yeah, baby, she, she, uh, she eating this. Now you know what I'm saying. She ate it. She cool, she eat what we eat. Got a baby food no more. And I'm, you know I'm celebratory, you know what I'm saying. I'm all shit, I ain't my mom and my baby she kind of that's good. He loves that. She helps me to recognize and she had mentioned this from time to time Like this is our outside from grandbabies.

Speaker 1: 52:43

I very much look forward to being a grandfather. I did not have a grandfather. My children don't have grandfathers. I look forward to being a grandfather myself. You know, my grandfather passed away before I was born, you know, and even my older siblings was real young, so they don't remember much of having a grandfather either. So I very much look forward to that. But this is our last time teaching someone how to walk. You know what I'm saying? My baby boy, he's reading. Now I got two to go.

Speaker 1: 53:24

My baby girl, she love books. She always reading, like why. My son is reading every sign in every store. Name my baby, my baby. She picking out the letters Look, daddy, alphabet. Now, grant, it was planted of apes. But she like P L A N. She just like yep, look at the other tree, read that. That should happen just this morning. But but this is the. This is the last time that we gonna do that as parents. So I understand why is somber for her.

Speaker 1: 54:03

However, you know, I still celebrate. I'm sure she does too, but she just helps me to recognize, like hey, one one she done shitting on herself. That's it. That's it. You know what I'm saying. It's gonna be us next. Yes, it's gonna be us next. We gonna be changing each other in this. Hey, baby, you good, yeah, wake up, go to the bathroom. I think you got, I think you got. Hey, baby, you didn't got me, you didn't got me in the bed, you didn't got off the mat. I put sheets on you. I put sheets on you, but no man, she like she. You know, I guess you're not gonna get it. I guess you can say she keep me humble and I'm like wow, this is the last time we're gonna teach somebody how to walk, how to talk, feed themselves. You know what I'm saying and it is kind of like wow. However, you know, I air on the side of celebration and I guess that's just our balance. You know what I mean. She's kind of like, oh, she walking now, that's it, yeah, yeah. So I'll say this I agree, thank you for sharing that. Yeah, I mean, I understand that this a little bit more.

Speaker 1: 55:06

What Nessa goes through of being the only woman in the house and all men, only female in the house she got is bossy, and that's our pit bull, it's our doggy. And we got a bearded dragon named Spike Lee. We don't know if it's male or female or not. I never knew his name was Spike Lee, spike Lee, y'all know? Rather he a female or male, we was looking it up, man, but it was like we was more excited for the dragon when we bought it. Like the sex, it looked real cool. That's what's up. But we are Googling tonight. Yeah, how did I think about it?

Speaker 1: 55:39

We do have, we have two male pets in the house. I told my wife because we used to be out, she used to be outnumbered. You know what I'm saying, Nigga, I'm a boy and we had two boys. You know what I'm saying? Hey, nigga, it's three to one. And then her dog, which is now our dog, love him very much. Shout out to you, artie Zavitch. Um, there's four. There's four boys, one girl and her, and then we had my first baby girl and then we had the second baby girl. It's kind of like oh shit, fellas, they catching up, they catching up, they catching up. But when it comes to the kids, we even now it was three boys, three girls, but we got the two male pets, the artists and riding the Heer boys. I got him a hamster ball. He was all around the house today.

Speaker 1: 56:26

I always thought that shit was fun and funny as shit to see that hamster or the guinea pea. He was going like all and like he got to hang of it quick. They only got. I ain't gonna talk about that lifespan, my kids be seeing this shit, but they as long as you would like it to be. So Rodney is about, I say, in human years. We've only had him since April. He was only a few weeks old when we got him. He me right, he probably about 15 years old already. Two year life, two year, hell, yeah, that's all you did. They be yeah. Have you ever seen a guinea pig in the wild? Or hamster? Like in the wild, wild hamsters. I got one back down on like tic-tac-toe water reviews. He's got some rats getting there, some birds, some to pray.

Speaker 1: 57:24

They need humans to take care of them. Like sheep, they like sheep, like sheep, they like dogs. So I say this man, I get to learn through Nessie. Well, dogs, because we all seen straight dogs. Dogs can't live as if I have any own cats. We commonly use them as pets. The same way they they self-sufficient, like a mother, like they can't be like straight dogs around the neighborhood. They just had a movie come out straight. They just out there Smythin' anywhere. They can, sheep cannot. So they don't know danger. They need people or dogs to keep them safe. Sheep cannot. Sheep need humans. Goats don't. You got mountain goats, rams and shit. They good Sheep. They need a shepherd, they need tendon to. Here comes Jesus. Yeah, he was the goat. He was the goat that led sheep Straight up man.

Speaker 1: 58:27

So I say this with wifey man, I learned the dynamic in the home of her life she the only woman and, as myself, my oldest son, ken Jr, and then our youngest son, kyro Adonis. He is three to one, and then we got our two dogs. Boss is the boss, he a boy, and then it's bossy, so it's four boys, two girls. However, we are going to adopt you told me about that. We got the paperwork, the email, everything is electronic. Now We'll fill out our application and we got our classes set up to be able to be foster.

Speaker 1: 59:05

I want to say I can't remember the terminology, but it's like fostering or adoption, but we've we made a solid, solid decision of not trying to have another child, do pregnancy. We all spoke on that Me, kjm, vanessa, but more so, kj got that place now of like, I don't want you to go in the hospital that long. I don't want that, you know, to me is like hey, man, every time you try to push out a baby you got more severe. Yeah, let's exercise other options. My uncle, ed and not Terry, made me believe in those other options and see it really paying out. That still affects us to this day. So me seeing that is like OK, let's do it.

Speaker 1: 59:53

And because we deal with the county board on so many different levels of contracting with the state of Ohio as an entrepreneur, we deal with the county board for intellectual disabilities with our clients and clientele, we deal with their families. We deal with our youngest son, who received some some county assistance because he's on the spectrum and him being a preemie and most of the people who don't probably know most preemies automatically receive some form of self security disability. Don't quote me 100% of all of the details, but you do receive a lot of benefits just because of your child being a preemie. If your child is a preemie and they go into the NICU, all of Cairo's medical bills were paid and it was like a bill passed by, like Roosevelt, one of the presidents who had a preemie baby. Something happened and then they were like, hey, every baby from here on out they can take care of it to a certain degree. You know I'm saying don't, don't hit me on all the laws and litigations and politics of it, but 1.6 million was like the overall ticket for Cairo staying in NICU and that would have bankrupt us because at that time we was only valued overall at 1.6. That's why. So it would have just wiped the slate clean, but to me it would have been even Can I have my baby? Sure, can't put no value on it. He put no dollar on that. Not at all, man.

Speaker 1: 1:01:09

But I saw that picture and that's supposed to the other day of it. Man, I had paused on it real quick. I was actually in bed scrolling and I was like, oh, I mean like what am I looking at? Ro Looking handsome, as can be man handsome, I mean he looked like Bruno Mars on this big day. The fade away, look like Off guard pic. So, man, I believe I'm handsome, I can fly. I believe I am handsome through my children. I look at KJ he's my oldest son. I'm like man, you a handsome boy. Man, you handsome. I'm a handsome young man. I look at Kyron I'm like man, you a handsome young man, you, handsome boy. I'm like they look like me, they look like you, I ain't too bad. Yeah, the show man. I'm like I'm not too bad, but I love, and I tell them that, I tell my boys like, man, you real handsome man, you handsome.

Speaker 1: 1:02:03

Well, in the mornings I get him. I'm the dad in the house that worked Third shifts last first shift. You know that rope that goes into for show. I'll be up in the morning on the birthday, yeah For sure. We do some birthday toast or whatever. Oh, yeah For sure. So round the ball. So I get him up in the morning and I just I'm at that age. I'm remembering my child is hitting me with a nostalgia of I know I ain't brushed my teeth sometime in the morning when I was 11, 12.

Speaker 1: 1:02:36

Some days on a Saturday, as a 36 year old man, I might not brush my teeth. The routine, different routine, like I remember. When I get him up. I, you know I check him at a pitch. Good, I mean smell breath, good, okay, cool, you got your ears I left right. I got your hair turned around. Three, two. You missed the back. You missed on the back. It is dry right here in the Southern region. Go back and get it. He come back out and check his clothes. But I'm like showing him I care. Hopefully it will rub off that he cares.

Speaker 1: 1:03:08

Yeah, you know, and when I get him up in the morning we had these conversations, we had his talks and this is that bonding time of me getting to prepare him for his day, programming him with as much information as I felt like I can as a dad, because I know what we still working and everything Like that's really the some of them, the time that I get with him. So I want to maximize the time. I don't want it to be spent abrasive of trying to negatively correct him. Brush your teeth, wash your hands. We got up on time. I ain't given shit about that growing up. Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 1:03:47

I had to sit with him when it was like, oh shit, I did get an alarm and I didn't get up. And you're right, dad, that's that taking that accountability. You're right, I was supposed to get up. I can listen to this Alexa to do all kind of other shit. I can't say it for this alarm or get to whatever it is so but I get to spend that time with him and when I get to spend this time with him, I'll coach him up and I'll tell him in correction, in a loving way, but oh, yeah, me, and brush my back.

Speaker 1: 1:04:14

I see it come in. His teeth might not be clean or breath not going to be right. I bet, amen. You too handsome for your, your breath to be like that man. Go, go, take that up. Go take that up. I know girl going to want to deal with you If you your breath like that, go ahead. No, that can't be too handsome. So hard bet my bad, my bad.

Speaker 1: 1:04:31

Yeah, instead of me, I used to, and sometimes, depending on the third or fourth time, all right, man, come here, which what you are, you Like what? Just kind of trying to take the, the negative narrative off of the dad thing of like what I'm doing to you is wrong. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. And making things that he needs to take accountability for healthy. They don't go to understand it until later. The same way I said, you know like, I understand why my mom ain't want us walking up to that store. I understand why my mom always may show either me or my brother was walking up to the library on superior with my sister. I understand why my mother was getting on my ass and calling me back to back to back to back to back and my goofy ass not answering the fucking phone. I understand now. You know how nigga I be, so my nigga. The answer they got there for you know what I'm saying and I pull up on you.

Speaker 1: 1:05:37

Yeah, like, and it's last, as I would like to be as a parent man these days, man, you can't, you can't be too Like, you can't be too Like, man cannot be too. So I'll say this man, we we've been speaking of a lot of things that kind of that's tense for is why we smoke, fake drink Whiskey or tequila. That's an honorary mentions. Well, these can be stressful topics, most definitely when we're talking in a safe space, you know. So we want to. It's healthy to detox from, say, conjuring up old feelings and thoughts. I want to go home and whoop on my son now, like I, you got three lashes come but Five ways that you relax. I'm Not certain if I even have five. I think if you have like a, I think having a solid to Was solid to for me. You know it's decent man but oddly enough, when I can conjure up the energy and this is supposed to be relaxing, but it does take energy a Lot of times the hardest part is getting there.

Speaker 1: 1:06:52

Same way we talk about work, he's like I don't feel like a hardest part is getting there. Once you there, you good, you know I'm feeling like going to the gym. A, get up, get there. That's 90% of it. Get there. Once you there, you ain't gonna waste your time, not to mention your gas. Get there Cutting, cutting my grass, mm-hmm, cut my grass.

Speaker 1: 1:07:16

When I'm out there and I'm in the middle, it may take me and I need to stay on top of my Shit. Alright, damn off like a nits grab. Oh, it rained a little bit, can't cut it today. 97 degrees, I ain't gonna think of that guy. That great. You don't look that bad man. Fuck hey, yo shit, don't look that bad to somebody. Cut this shit, man. Shout out to my neighbor Mike, I don't know what you keep a secret from me. I know you listen to this shit. What kind of fertilizer? You? Shout out the mic. Shout out the neighbor, mike. Shout out the Mike man, mike, jack man, oh, in today's ass, his birthday, mike's lovely wife. Happy birthday to you, ash.

Speaker 1: 1:07:58

But cutting the grad when I'm in the middle of it and I'm in the groove, I'm in the zone. You know, I used to Either cut the front I cut the front for me, that man, fuck the back. Now. I made sure I got into that with a man, cut the front and the back. You know, saying make sure I just cut one. I got cut the back tomorrow. They're tired, but I'd be in the middle of it. And then, you know, I got my tools together. So, um, I ain't got a head shimmer yet, but I'm taking my, my giant scissors with a gun machine and I'm yeah, his driver called in sick today and he asked me to fill in.

Speaker 1: 1:08:42

Shut your ass. Oh, don't you touch that car. My piss on the motherfucker. I go Say why you always got to say nasty shit, cuz I'm a nasty motherfucker. Shout out to the same nasty shit, right, man? I told a little bit about this. It was him trouble. Now you ain't watching me. But yeah, man, they be on punishment together. But um, they in life right, straight up.

Speaker 1: 1:09:12

But but getting out there cutting the grass, man. Let's say, if I start cutting about man about 6 pm, shit man, I'm leaving my wife hanging like a motherfucker inside cuz I'm out there. It does not take me two hours to cut my grass, but I'm out there and I'm gonna get this cut me, lining it up and shit and it's blowing the shit back in the grass. Hold up and then when I'm done, when I'm done, sun going down should be looking real. Good man, the paint when the sun is setting the what the day, the way I got pictures, the way you make my house look, and don't let my love my little lights cut on, why, the sun is kind of still up, my little lights around the house cut on. Think I'm around that bitch. I stand in the middle of the street. This is good color. I'll be out there to just walk and let me look at the back and I can't wait to get the fence. Put it in a shake. Oh man, yeah, damn, I forgot to. Let me grant Me and one other nigga in the name. Alright, we could spray some of this shit out here for our guns. I now it's getting dark and start to see a couple lightning bugs out there, but I'll find my play. That's where I'll find my place a lot of time.

Speaker 1: 1:10:31

Number two I I'll wake up Unnecessarily early in the morning and I actually I Actually kind of pulled this from you, you know, it's not even that I want to wake up. Wake up there early is that I feel like I need to To get ahead of anything that that may be coming. We wear we wear a lot of hats. We carry a lot of responsibility for a lot of people, so like I need to be up, I Need to be up, I need to be alert. You know every chief is up before the trial.

Speaker 1: 1:11:03

Yeah, I cleaned out the hamster cash this morning. Yeah, cuz I can only I Can only technically do it at night because that's when he awake. So I start cleaning it like 430 this morning. Why he's still up while it's dark. He up all night and he's doing shit, putting the paper inch in his mouth, taking it upstairs. He had rearranged his shit. I'll put less padding on the top level because and I put more down cuz he'll get to work. I know I want more shit upstairs. He'll be. See his stuff is mouth full of the shit. Go through the tunnel and spit that shit out and arrange his shit legit with his little boss Fucked up my shit. Oh, I put me a main bag right here. I put him a little ladder upstairs may show my man got food and shit, but um, anyway, I'm getting on top of man waking up early.

Speaker 1: 1:11:51

My house is completely quiet. Me in, the pets is up, me, rodney and artist, it's just us and whatever little ants might be in there Spiders, yeah, but it's, it's just up and getting up early enough and sometimes I'll even have a chance. So you know, put a little tune on. I put my workout on. I'm still listening to that killer, mike heavy. That's my workout album.

Speaker 1: 1:12:15

I get my little workout on and just have an ample time to have to myself. The kids are asleep, the wife is asleep and Literally the entire house at least the first floor in my my man cave is is mine. You know what I mean. So Off the top of my head I just got two things that that that I really take for myself and that I know is is Theor puty to me, and that's cutting the grass and being up early, wise, while it's dark, the house is calm and quiet. My house get a lot, bruh. My house get a lot. It's six of us in that, mother.

Speaker 1: 1:12:52

Yeah, you know, saying so, having that time is definitely something that I Gotta take, not only to be on alert for what may come, but just taking that time for myself, you know, throwing on ESPN and catching up what have, what games happened last night. Just having that time is quiet, you know. And on the Saturday morning because I still get up early as fuck on the Saturday and Sunday, you know, I start to hear feet coming through the house and my daughter come down. She usually the first one, my, my three-year-old, she usually the first one, you know, or a late thing, they like battle back and forth and one of them coming, the other one coming soon after. But I wake up, daddy, hey, baby, shit comes. Shit watch football with she watch football. My boys be even this weekend, lollies that I'm bored. Hey, boy, you can watch this game with you got all outside. All that, all that you know.

Speaker 1: 1:13:48

But that's, that's my two things, man. What about you, man? What's the few things to help you relax? Well, you know, I'll say this man, thank you for asking me that. That's a legitimate question to ask Somebody in your circle like, hey, man, what do you do to relax? You know, to be able to have that as a tool, to be able to Assist them back. You know, at times of need, so I Come up. I came up with five things to me that helps me Relax and I kind of pulled from them sign of simultaneous there. There. Some of them are just acts, some of them are Pleasures, but all of them put me in a space or a place that I need to emotionally be for whatever is coming Me.

Speaker 1: 1:14:35

Meditating is number one, and this is no particular order. But like meditating, having some solitude, some time to myself in my man cave, my dojo, my bunker, whatever you want to call it I need that time to mentally prep. I need that time to sequentially think out my steps, of how I'm going to do things and how I'm going to interact, so that as I'm dealing with situations, nothing is like. I already replayed this in my head. So I'm handling it was as swift and as smooth, with as much class and elegance as I can, and that nothing shocks me that I've, or very little things, but I've, I can. I'm imagining, with my interaction with you would be like with my children, would be like my steps of, or my steps of my order of operation from math, from the old math, nothing. I don't know if they got the order of operation in the new math. Excuse my dear Aunt Sally's excuse, but she ain't saying so. So, but I would, I have to, I'll have that lined up.

Speaker 1: 1:15:43

A certain way of, if an issue come about, of many hats of a worker should come up. This is how I handle it. This is what I need. Do I have my tools and resources sharp and ready at my disposal in my toolbox so I can be able to make work easy? Can I can make situations handling where all of those thoughts that's rambling out my mouth, ramblin through my head at light speed, yeah, so having that time to to orchestrate that by myself is heavy. So I need that solitude, I need that meditation, I need that peace, I need that. I need to only make one move at a time as a king, because this move is a, it's a, it's a mighty one and it's a justifiable one, and it's a, it's a move that shakes the entire kingdom. So it has to be, it has to be a worthy one.

Speaker 1: 1:16:35

Hmm, the next one I'll say is I promote or I promote legalizing marijuana. I promote using marijuana or recreational substances in a respectful manner, in an age appropriate manner. As a person who vouches for that, I respect people who have hobbies or habits and they are still productive. As a person who adequately smokes marijuana, I promote it for people to help relax, to help take the edge off pain, anxieties, depressions, things of that nature. So I promote having that, that tie, if you can, within your budget respectfully.

Speaker 1: 1:17:31

This is the disclaimer I ain't telling you, or nobody that's listening, to go do drugs or any kind of way, shape or form. What I'm telling you is that people have happy hours for alcohol and Claude and Ray got locked up for running booze. Running Hooch, that was spanky booze. You know spanky, that's spanky. But having you a little bit of a spanky booze, having you a little taste John with a spoon taught me that little taste of tulip help take the edge off, being able to have my smoke break, puff my little joint. We have a detox and relax from the day, from wearing the multiple hats that I wear, from sitting in a counselor seat, and then somebody tell me treacherous things that happen to them as a child or sitting in this seat of hey, I had to lay off somebody or we had to let someone go and I had a chance to see. Economically it's going to be hard for them, but being able to have that smoke break helps me detox and not bring work home or homework or bring problem transfer, one problem from one person to the next.

Speaker 1: 1:18:34

And yeah, the third one, in no particular order, is intimacy. I love pleasure, just like the next person, and intimacy comes from multiple different levels. And not a room, not just a romantic intimacy, but being able to hang out with my, my children, and had that throw time with them was like hey, my son remembers us getting pizza and watching the football game and him be like that is the piece of man showing up today Because it was so used to routine like football season. That means coming back to our season filters right in the end of baseball season is something. And the wrestling we watch we used to burn wrestling, so it's like a but it's something. Or an hour or two of entertainment for us to be able to chat with bond that I get to explain something to him about that, and intimacy with my wife getting a chance to lay up man, as the people speak a lot about the other love languages.

Speaker 1: 1:19:42

Man, I'm all love languages, I'm not just one, I'm all of them. I need them all. I'm that high maintenance, or needy, if you will. I need all that. I need all that shit, and it don't got to be in a particular order. You have a top two. Yeah. Yeah, I'm more, I'm more touched and talk, and that's saying a lot. We can have a whole conversation and I say a word if we sensual like that, if we seductive like that, if we poetic like that, if we got that art of us, like, hey, I can entertain you without saying anything. Yeah, but then I'm also words of encouragement I really needed.

Speaker 1: 1:20:27

I love to hear how you doing a good job, yeah, just like the young lady who just randomly mentioned that to you out of nowhere that's something that really hit you was like, hey, I need that. Encouragement like that should always stick with me. Yeah, it's like, hey, I feel like I'm doing a great job. But for someone who has no benefit to you or from you and just wants to let you know, like, hey, I see what you're doing, you know and you don't. And if nobody else appreciates you, I do and I receive no direct benefit, if you will, from let you know that. A lot of things, your mother trying to get some much. Hey, man, love what you doing, baby, keep up the game. You know, I'm saying I got a little bit of you shining baby, but yeah, but it's like. Hey, I just want to motivate you, man, I'm going to share this with you.

Speaker 1: 1:21:27

Like since first day of schools last week and his school from last year closed. You know the district, we and they closed one high school, one middle school, one elementary school. It happened to be his elementary school. That was closed. So now he's at a new school. It was a small school. I think it was only 250, 300 students in the maybe you know so relatively small school. But now these kids are now going to another school that's not too far from even that one. You know.

Speaker 1: 1:21:57

So the pickup lines. First of all, the drop off lines crazy Kids getting in the school. You know, no kidding, bro, our late. Like I've been here, I've been in line for our no kid, I'm not exaggerating like a long time down there at 10 o'clock by the time. Kids getting in school starting nine. You know I'm saying about nine, yeah, straight up. But the drop off line was even more insane. I got there late on purpose because I knew it was going to be why I got there for a six school late out 340. I got there for six thinking I man should have died down by now. I should be able to get in a few cars, no problem. The line was insane. Still, I got there late on purpose school buses having a hard time getting in with a cluster fuck man.

Speaker 1: 1:22:48

By the time I got in the parking lot, one of the ladies who you know teachers, they volunteer to do this after school run the pickup line and stuff like that. So she's a teacher and she out to brush. Hot. They cancel the first two days of school because of the heat, so this the first day is still hot, just not as hot to shut school down. With his heart out there and she out there trying to direct all this traffic and I see the look on her face and she's stressed, sweating and just got her air horn and this way, you know, trying to get everybody to get their kids and go home. I roll my window down and I make eye contact with her. I've never met this one before again this is a new school before I even got a chance to say anything, she kind of looked at me with his look on her face, like I know.

Speaker 1: 1:23:38

I know I imagine she was thinking I was going to complain, but all I wanted to do was say, hey, you're doing a great job. You know, saying she melted in, thank you like she's oh, my God, thank you. I ain't here to talk shit. This shit ain't your fault and you doing your best to manage and get us all in here and out of here. Shit just ain't what.

Speaker 1: 1:24:05

The plan we had wasn't working, you know, and I imagine that a few other parents rolled down that window to talk shit hey, is it going to be like this every day? I have to get you know, saying complaining this shit, you know. But but I rolled down my window and I'm probably like one of the last 12 cars because I got there late. You know what I mean. And she been hearing this shit a few times from people oh my gosh, this, this guy, I'm not going to deal with this, you know. I'm saying, but I rolled down my window to give her just a quick little word of encouragement at this point from a complete straighter. I never even strange, I never even seen this woman, but to just roll down my window and say, hey, you doing a great job, and her just visibly melting in oh my gosh, thank you so much. I just kept on walking just to lend that encouragement and that grace. That's a word I've been keeping in my pocket lately because we got to extend grace to each other. We as parents at that school even need to extend grace and no, like, hey, they taking on a whole nother school in this. You know I'm saying remember, this is the what they say. The children are the future. This is us trying to say the future. Yeah, shit, a bitch, excuse me.

Speaker 1: 1:25:19

A lady blew at me in traffic today and I'm in the van. I'm not driving like a maniac. I got my clients in the back and shit. You know what I mean and I'm not going to take the time to explain this area. I was into the people who don't know but where I need to go. I'm making one turn and then another immediate turn. So I need to do this a certain way and I can't be. You know, I'm saying I'm cutting through. I'm like this some big 350 van that's. She was like an excursion or something like that, like behind me. Well, yeah, of course I'm in a 350. So as soon as I get the clear to go, you know a car coming down the road put his turn signal. Okay, bet they turn. Bro, check one more time. I hit the bus before. Okay, I rather look like a maniac checking back and forth before I just jump out there. You know, I mean, what's eight seconds? Yeah, you know I mean. So I'm finally, I'm finally about to go.

Speaker 1: 1:26:16

She do all this shit. And I stopped, open the door, look, you got a fucking problem. You know, I'm saying on top of that and I explained this shit to me get earlier. Like, forget me, I got my clients here, don't do that shit to them. You know I'm saying don't do that shit to them. You drive like a fucking maniac. If you want to, and your shit.

Speaker 1: 1:26:39

You know I'm saying I got lives in my hands right now. I need to get them home safely. Excuse me, ma'am, motherfucker, want to? Ma'am, that's a better word. You know I'm saying I ain't gonna call her a bitch. Yeah, I'm gonna call her a ma'am, unstable creature. But um, but that ass man want to blow at me and shit.

Speaker 1: 1:26:57

You know I'm saying then, as I make my turn again, I need to immediately get into the right lane and she pull up all close to the van doing all this shit. That it again. Bitch, don't do that. And I almost caught myself Using language I wouldn't typically use with my. You know those who I care for in the vehicle and I had to count you know what something on going on with that trick. You know I'm saying I'ma let her have her. I ain't never got to see you again. You know I'm saying I'm going this way, gone by. You know I'm not your fucking way, but don't be asking me to drive like a, like a fucking moron, because you in the rush. You know I'm saying you was late, you should have left a little earlier. You should have left a little earlier. So hopefully you hit. I don't know you. Alright, but bitch, fuck you. You know I'm saying and foe, motherfuckers that look like from permission to speak straight up. You heard it from controversial low. Hey, I'm back with the cutting there too.

Speaker 1: 1:27:57

I so the no, no particular order, but the finish up the intimacy with life with wifey. I want that lay up. We just watch TV, kind of listen to music. I'm real. I'm real handsy. I'm real touchy. I'm real, philly. I'm real, so touchy I got in trouble for not touching her enough after I had to starve her ass. She ain't above getting starved either. And for those who don't know, starving means I will retract myself from you.

Speaker 1: 1:28:46

Didn't respect my presence, so you have to feel my absence and me not saying something. Says something. You hear that. Yeah, me not saying nothing. You hear it. Yeah, I call it a. I call it taking me out this bitch. I take me out this bitch, not meaning that I'm physically not here, but what I, what I give you when I am here.

Speaker 1: 1:29:09

If it's going unnoticed and unappreciated, oh OK, you gonna feel me when you don't, when you no longer receive my benefit, not permanently, but he usually washed the dishes after I cook and I ain't even got to take me out this bitch. Yeah, you know I'm saying she pulled. I bring you a diaper. Oh, yeah, for sure. You know I'm like it's shit, like that. Not let my baby just run around with shit on the cell like, oh shit, baby, you know, you know I'm saying mommy, and not me jumping up and coming to you know your a with certain shit. You know what I mean. So I definitely understand what you coming from with. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just call it a different name. It's just as we're using different styles to get to the same place.

Speaker 1: 1:30:07

So, but I would, I would starve of like a man. I need to give it away my secret. We teach him, we teach him People, we educate him here. This is for intellectuals who listen, take note, and we add a lot of humor to what we doing. But humor is every human being's commonplace baby, let me add.

Speaker 1: 1:30:24

Let me add this really quick man, when I say taking me out, this bitch like, because a lot of people would say, oh, he being petty, I wouldn't necessarily say that. But see, I have such a love for my woman where I want to be present in a tool and making sure I'm doing everything I can to make your life, your life or even just your day, that hour, easier. Be what you need, you good, you straight, what you need from I got you. You know I'm saying, but me taking me out this bitch is more this me not being motivated to do so. It ain't being petty, well, fucking, I ain't gonna do. It's more like a I don't even, I ain't even feeling you right now because you ain't. You know, I'm saying I'm not, I'm not getting the return on what I, on what I give, not on some tip for tax ship, but it's like I give and I give and I give and I give and I'm I don't.

Speaker 1: 1:31:22

I don't feel Take me out this bitch. Yeah, it just happens. Yeah, we call it. I feel I'm being like the Lord is like I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted with it. I'm deflated. You deflate me because I'm already, I guess, full of air, hot air, talk a lot. What is like for certain things that I do, there's no need to talk. Action. Do means action, yeah, so the things that I do speak for me. The action in return needs to speak for you, yeah, but that's one of those straight up, that's one of those of like I need this from. Yeah, even on the small level, like I'm a, like they say, man, 90% of communication is, is, is not verb, was, body language to.

Speaker 1: 1:32:13

If I'm coming in from a dead work and I'm bringing the kids home, getting them in and shit, and my wife works from home most of the time and I go in her office and I was up there and I go in for a kiss and you kind of throw me the cheek. I don't like that. I like the way that feel. I didn't like even even if she didn't even mean to like give that message is still meant for me, kind of being brushed off or even put in second place to what you focus on right now. You can't take a split second to give me a kiss. You got it. Hey, throw me. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 1:32:56

That shit right, there is kind of like yeah, I mean I'm a little like, look at, look at me. You know I'm saying hey, how was your day you good? You know I'm saying like I need more than just you know what I mean and we talked about that. You know she's she's gotten better and understanding that like shit, like that. Don't, don't sit well with me. You know I'm saying don't just throw me the cheek and not even make eye contact with me. I ain't seen your ass in hours. You know I'm saying and you can't even take your eyes off of that for a hot second. I ain't trying to take eight minutes from you. Know what's up, baby, look at me. Hey, that's quickie, eight minutes. You know I'm saying you had a good. Okay, I'm almost done.

Speaker 1: 1:33:36

That's what I need the engagement, and not able and throwing me a cheek to kiss, I don't fuck with that. That's work husband type shit. Yeah, like I'm your real, like if you, if I'm, if you give me work husband vibes, can I get a work wife? Your work husband better not be, you, better not be throwing that. Nigga know. Neither one of them cheeks. Not. I don't give a mother fuck, I'm your work motherfucking career. Because you work my own shit. I pop in on your shit straight up, no warning. So but I agree with you on needing that. That's a level of intimacy beyond just sex. Man, sex is pleasurable, that's something that you know we both can share and that's cool. That too I like to fuck. Yeah, I like to like great cool, you know. But I need, I need a level of intimacy. That's what that helps me relax. The next will be it may not help some relax, but it helps me relax.

Speaker 1: 1:34:34

I need a lot of laughter. Yeah, I need funny, funny, funny, funny shit. Laughter is humor, is every human being's commonplace. Yeah, so that's a humor makes me feel comfortable. Me being a humorous, comedic type of person makes people feel comfortable If I can get you to laugh. That's like, okay, we got a connection there. Okay, this person has a personality, a sense of humor and that's and that's a skill Everybody doesn't have the comedic talent to like. Just make random people, yeah, connect with just strange stories. You don't know what. You can make them laugh, you can, that's you won't queue with your timing with them. You picking up little things you like okay, I got this, I'm gonna open my night, but I need a lot of laughter. That makes me feel good, it makes me feel warm. And then I say the last one, the last one of that helps me relax.

Speaker 1: 1:35:40

Permission to speak freely. I Need a good nut. I'm straight like that, one of them, like I need a nut to go to sleep tight, like one of those like that. Or they whisk them dopamine kick. I don't know the terms, I just know the dopamine is, they say, even kissing the razor dopamine levels to to be a you know Intiment in that way.

Speaker 1: 1:36:08

So I think I think a lot of man, a lot of men, can relate With that one, you know, and that's, that's that's where I need you to think like a man, just about the only body you know. I ain't gave him none in a while. Let me get on that. If you give to a man, I can't say all of that. If you give, that many men have to meet a certain marker. You know I'm saying not just he's a man, not just any one. Identify as one. We got a dick, or you got a beard that would make some chest hair straight up.

Speaker 1: 1:36:39

Whatever that man is doing for you taking care of you, making food, making you feel good, not being your ass, you know saying and being a being your, your protector, your providing your man, not just a man, not just cuz he looked good, because he smelled good, because you'd like what you see make sure this man is looking out for you in some way. And Even when it comes down to being a protector, we hear protect him and we think all protector, you know saying but I'm also the protector Of your energy. No, I'm saying virtue, yeah, you're innocent. Your peace, yeah, straight up, I'm the protector of all of that. That's why I don't want you More or less sort of losing your mind in this house for the kids. I'm gonna protect your piece, a baby, what you need, I got you. Let me protect your energy and make sure you're having a good day, let me protect your day. So, at the end of the night, when is it? Yeah, you had a good day, baby. Oh, yeah, took part in protecting your essence.

Speaker 1: 1:37:47

I'll say as something I see you do as a dad man, getting ahead of the day with the kids For sure is a level of like protecting your day of. Hey, I know what you, I know you gotta do what you gotta do what you gotta do. Yeah, got you prepped. Yeah, you know, sometimes, man, sometime not lately I've been like I said, I cleaned out the hamster cage this morning and shit. But sometimes my wife will wake up in the morning to help me, not help me with the kids, but you know, we get the kids together, together and I got, like my son dress, one of the girls dress, and I'm on the way getting the other one dress oh, the bottles.

Speaker 1: 1:38:22

Mad, baby, I'm trying to be out of here like 10 minutes. You're late for real. Yeah, like that's, like that I mean purposely. Yeah, like I needed you. You know, sam, but sometimes, sometimes I want to protect that, you know, and I'm not even and not even to be like a bag on the sleep in, but like I want you to see like, hey, I got this. Of course I want you to still wake up. I don't want to give you the green light to sleep in. You got to get up and Get your day started too. However, hey, baby, I got this and you was able to start your day in a way you Wanted to, and not necessarily happen to jump straight into mommy mode. I'm built for what I can do. It for sure.

Speaker 1: 1:39:07

I'm saying like, baby, I got it. Yeah, he dressed, they ate breakfast. I'm about to get her body we bought the wrong about to be out of here in a few minutes. You know I'm saying and and my hope is for her to always Appreciate that and never take for granted and just shrug it off as a oh, he got it. Because I'm pretty sure a lot of women listening to this now and getting a little wet in the pants like, oh, he be doing. Oh, yeah, I do, yeah, I do. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 1:39:37

That's the type of dude I asked, the type of, that's a type of father on you. You know, I'm saying and my baby's crying in the middle of the night and I'm, I'm getting up always been that way, even with my oldest boy like I'm up, daddy, here, I got you and I'm able to bond with my kids in that way and being the the person who came to save them, why they was miserable and they create hey, daddy, got you. You smell that. That's me, I know you can't see it, you know. So that reminds me, man, that actually that that struck a nostalgic core with me, cairo, still to this day, when we are sleeping, he don't got like his toys or nothing, we just like lounging and he trying to go to sleep well, not just a sleep, because he he burrowing in like a tick into your body, like it's a little crevice, some burrowing, but he will lounge like we just chillin, watching TV or something.

Speaker 1: 1:40:36

He'll just climb up on me and lounge on me, like he did when we was in a nicky, of course, in a nicky mean by crawl up on me. But I will hold them and just lay it. Cuz you so small, I lay them right in the cave of my chest. Yeah, and I just like Well, his chest with both of my hands and he was so small, this they've not be my hands was all small, he was a cover, this whole body of like no blanket in this is. I'm just holding them, like there you go. Yeah, you go, man, that's my baby. But it was Climb, run up on me and try to lay on me the same way and I'm like Just that moment of like he remembers the care, yeah, he remembers the care of his dad, he remembers the care of his mother, like that. I'm still not over it. Yeah, that's a whole nother segment that we'll have and I'll probably cry that day hey, man, you know you'll see me cry.

Speaker 1: 1:41:28

Permission to be freely, a mission to cry freely. For sure, this is the same space. But I got a chance to see a strength in her, that, a dedication of her like that I didn't had and I thought that I as a man, like I thought I had it and I and I, and it wasn't that I didn't, it was like a I Wasn't built for this. This is not my arena, at least not yet, but it was hers. It was hers and it was like a new, renewed respect for women, of like she should never have to go through that alone. Yeah, man, she's never had to go through it alone. Respect to the women who go through it alone. I'm a product of going through that alone.

Speaker 1: 1:42:12

We had comfort and care from a lot of people find family. That were there, people that, like we saw Not just people that reached out, you know, I'm sick as much respect to them too, but it was still people who was like, around, in the presence, hands on hands, still hands on, who still Understood our safety and concern with our child of like, yeah, he's home but nobody's coming to see him yet. Oh, this person was there. Why was there's? Like Bitch cuz. That person never fucking left straight up before Kobe, they were there. They never left.

Speaker 1: 1:42:46

Yeah, so Don't question how this person gets to steal care. Talk your shit. Permission to speak straight up, but meaning like, hey, don't do that, don't challenge that, because that's where I, as king, keep peace. I decapitate you just for the sake of the community, because you are causing havoc where there is none. Yeah, you want the attention on yourself and now you got it. You have. You act like a child.

Speaker 1: 1:43:13

This was dealt with like a child. I don't have room for child's ways anymore. I'm closer to 40 than I am to 20. I Can't play around and the children are the future and I must protect that. I must protect that. So you a person feeling some kind of way because they didn't get the pleasure of just be Placing their eyes upon the golden child.

Speaker 1: 1:43:39

Yeah, when he came home, fragile, yes, sick, steel NG to own oxygen, you want to just come and see him for clout, get the selfie. It's like I kill you so he can live. Don't do that to my baby, don't do that to me, cuz I ain't gonna allow this shit. I'll go at your ass. Yeah, and that's important, man, it's special protection.

Speaker 1: 1:44:06

Yeah, he came fin for himself. He already doing and was doing enough fighting as it is like a mother. Yeah, so it's like you, you, you above him. You got some sort of entitlement.

Speaker 1: 1:44:20

Remember, I'm not God. God gave his only son for imperfect being that he created. I'm not God. I will not give up my son for man that I know is imperfect. That spits on the door I leave open for him. Hmm, I will not, for the sake of his life, their life, for their future.

Speaker 1: 1:44:39

What we building, you are the past, I Am the now, and to protect the future Right now, I gotta keep shit moving, I gotta keep powering forward. Yeah, I can't keep saving the path. You had your time and it was cold and shit. Who the fucking understand that during the heart of like, when everybody needed love yeah, it was like man you you felt like your love superseded, or what you wanted superseded. Even still now, to this day, it's like you feel like your shit supersedes if you are for the people, it ain't about you.

Speaker 1: 1:45:21

So I'm gonna tap into probably all five of these ways to relax tonight, starting with if I can get a nut you start. Start there, get a nut, be intimate with my woman so we lay with my kids a little bit, laugh, joke, talk shit with them, laugh some fool fucking day. You can follow me on IG at permission to number two underscore speak freely podcast. As permission to number two underscore speak freely Podcast. Yep, and you can follow me. I'm your boy Lay low the most on IG at lay low the most as la y lo e dot th a M o s. Thank you all for tuning in permission to speak freely.