Permission 2 Speak Freely Podcast

Breaking Traditional Norms for a Fulfilling Marriage

• Chief Ali & Lay Loe Tha Mos • Episode 12

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Do you ever wonder how to keep your relationship thriving? How to strike a balance between traditional roles and modern expectations? Freedom Speakers, We've got your back! 

 In this compelling conversation, we unpack the secrets to a lasting and fulfilling marriage. We explore the essence of honesty, the power of authenticity, and the need to invest in each other's interests. We give minor detail to Chief and Mocha's recent vacation trip, illustrating just how breaking away from the daily grind can rekindle and strengthen your bond. 

We zoom in on the struggles relationships face in finding this elusive balance, particularly when it comes to domestication, finances, and daily responsibilities. We shed light on the power of understanding oneself and the impact of these things can have on our emotions. 

We underline the significance of parental connection on children. Summing up with the critical aspect of setting boundaries. This episode is an enlightening guide for anyone navigating the twisting roads of a relationship. 

Buckle up for an exciting journey!

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Speaker 1:

to get married and not want to keep that marriage healthy, keep that marriage strong, continue to build together. You got the wedding and the pictures and shit and now all of the work that you put into that, when you feel like at that point you succeeded. Well, the success is until one of y'all, one of you, die To death. Do you part To death? Do you part man? If I got to go out, I'd rather go out like that. And one of the lines man that I've been catching me on this honesty street even more honest, more like I said man, I smoke chronic, so I'm blunt.

Speaker 1:

I've been saying to wifey if I can't be myself, I don't see us being together. If you can't be yourself with me, I don't see us being together. And I would hope that you wouldn't see being with me if you couldn't be you. If I can't be me with you, this won't work. And it's just the honest, raw truth of each other, of I want to be as kiddish some days as I can feel and play around and laugh and giggle, and then some days I want to really be an adult and stay out late and stay up and drink and eat food and have sex. You know what I'm saying. Like do you want to do grownups? Enjoy each other, absolutely Enjoy each other, like we used to.

Speaker 1:

We all we know we've had the cupcake phases, the honeymoon stages. Like why can't we stretch out the honeymoon phase to last fucking forever? It's going to be some rough times. I'm not going back on what I said. It's going. It ain't going to be peaches and creams, rainbows, lollipops, all the motherfucking time. But can we keep that shit rocking for as long as we can and put forth that effort to make sure we, we both, happy?

Speaker 1:

Now, your happiness is not my responsibility. You gotta repeat that, though. Your happiness is not my responsibility. My happiness is not your responsibility. But while we're here, let's be good for each other.

Speaker 1:

Is that too much to ask? What do you like? Oh, he likes to do this. He likes to eat this. You know what I'm saying. Let me, let me, let me learn how to cook that. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

I know she like she does a lot of you know she? She get her workout on. Let me make sure I'm offering some some back rubbed, some foot rub. Let me offer back. You want to go take a? Take a fucking walk. You know what I'm saying Get into what your spouse is into. If I'm watching some shit you never even thought about taking an interest in. You know what I'm saying. Let me sit down with you. What you're doing, oh that's interesting. What you watching, oh that's cool. Like a little show you be watching, that's all right. You know what I'm saying and really get to know, because that's where, that's where you keep that shit going. It's the small things. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

The trips and shit is cool, but the bonding really comes in when we're investing in each other's interest and supporting each other and all that type of shit. Man, speaking of trips, you had a pretty event, fucking birthday. I almost had to drive up, fly over something, underground tunnels, something. Yeah, wife, we actually would you prefer we talk about that later, just just just, just under strength of like. So I'll say this man, because she wanted to talk about it with us, she wanted, she wanted to talk about it with us and I'll save that for extra details with her. But I will say this man, I love to fuck out that one and me just being me, I had to kind of micromanage the event because it was like hey, don't tell me what's going on, because I want to don't tell me what's going on, because I want to be surprised.

Speaker 1:

And she held her composure all the way until you know today. So when we leave, it's hard as fuck we do, which is very hard, man, and I'm telling her. But I'm saying this to her like, hey, we are practicing trust. Yeah, okay, I need to trust you, even with me. I need you to trust you. Do not tell me where we're going, do not tell me. I want to be surprised and I want my expression to be authentic. So she's like oh my God, oh my mother, they can't hold water cup. They can't hold water with a cup, I mean. But she, she extended it out, she did the look, she do the card thing. I got to pick which car. So it was cool, man, I picked the one card and went to Detroit. So I might all right, man, we go to Detroit, which is only like a two and a half hour drive from Caldwell County, from Cleveland to one six, and we were, we went to the hotel was called the Leo collection and I'm like, look at her just being creative, connecting shit. And I'm like this she want to have a baby or something. She might ask for something big, but I was in love with that.

Speaker 1:

We got some of the best sleep we had, probably a month when we, when we touch down and then we speak and freely, when we touch down, we had got something to eat. I want to say we touch down, got something to eat, got a dope session. In though I was real proud of us, like together. I'm like any kids ain't. No, and nobody here to interrupt is like, yeah, we been.

Speaker 1:

After we had our session, we both went to sleep and slept and slept and just slept. Man, we slept the first day and it was like I woke up the next day like four or five am stand on the balcony but as they open up the window, we ain't no pop in it though, but I'm like, damn damn, I ain't. But what I felt rejuvenated, I felt like beyond of the getting some good buns type session. It was like, hey, nigga, I had a good, a good night. Rest uninterrupted, not having to pick up the children, wake up the kids, go to work, let out the dogs. None of that, none of that. It was like I get to me love my woman lay up in the bed. The mattress was stiff as shit, it was hard. It was hard. I don't know what many hotels. They got the mattress game. Right now I'd be a lot of people. They ain't trying to have too many niggas be too comfortable fucking on them. It's just for the show and then you go. But we slept the whole first night.

Speaker 1:

Next day we got up, got a chance to see the city. She exposed me more to the surprise that she had of like, hey, man, we going to Canada. I'm like I ain't got my passport, like I got it for you. I'm like she about to ask for a baby brush. She, she's laying it on thick with the surprises. She about to get one in the fucking way. But we did sign up to be adoptive parents. Yeah, man, we, that's something we seriously are considering. That's like a strong consideration of that's big, that's huge. My aunt and uncle, my uncle and aunt, made it believable. But I say that for another time. So, that being said, man, we ended up going to see the city. We go to Canada, but we go through customs, and when we go through customs I'll halt the story there and I wait till Nessa come through and she'll tell you the rest.

Speaker 1:

Man, make sure y'all tune in for that story. I can't wait to hear it. I want to be surprised. I don't want to hear, I don't want to hear freedom speakers. We're going to let y'all know when we put that one out. Can't wait to hear it. I know what's going to be lit.

Speaker 1:

I'll say this man, arrivals, hangover, oh shit, arrivals. The first hangover is like hey, man, wake up. What's going on? What happened? Duggy dug, dug, go, duggy, dug, dug. I don't wanna know shit else. I don't wanna know shit else, man. But I say this, man, I say it every birthday, but just probably, probably was the best birthday thus far. Just on some they should give it a better man.

Speaker 1:

Each birthday has a new trip, something new that's added to it, something that's happened. That is like I made it home yeah, that's a fucking story right there. Like I made it back home, yeah, man. But listen, man, speaking of better, speaking of new, for those that I mean, I wanna put your age out there. You know, don't push your fucking-. I'm like hey, my man's 36., 36. Rome Bedis, you need to bust the Paul. I was about to say but bust on these things. They say we ain't gonna Not quite but but what is Cause?

Speaker 1:

I know how I get when I I'm a month behind you, mm-hmm, my birthday a little over like a month in a week after York, five weeks after York, and I often find myself in transformation mode. I wanna do something dramatic. Remember I was talking shit about cutting my hair? Yeah, yeah, I ain't cutting-. I'm like listen to me, some ass, you know what I'm saying. At least something dramatic. I started working out. I've been consistent with my workouts, you know I've been my diet is trying to do better. There again, cause I do I ain't gonna say I do these diets frequently. This is my second time really honing in Like I need to I need to transform. I need to do something better, different. I need to be better with my kids. They need more structure. Let me implement and that happens around like a month or two before my birthday Just aiming to be better, moving into this new age of 36.

Speaker 1:

What is what's your steps, your goals, your milestones, just for this year? Just the what's the mantra for year 36? Cheat. Well, I actually met my mantra this year. I did have Jerome Bettison, my 36, the bus. It was the only one I knew off the top, but I actually went with Marcus Smart. Okay, marcus Smart man, just like probably underrated point guard yeah, you got some green on your head. You got to be Marcus Smart. You got to be Marcus Smart and you got to be a tough defender. Yeah, you got to be a tough defender and you got to be able to put up buckets. You got to be able to but he as 36 is the man.

Speaker 1:

I'm a fan of Boston, I'm a fan of Marcus Smart, I'm a fan of I became a fan when I saw the kind of pressure and defense he was able to put on Steph Curry and put on just the guard, the guard position. But I got to really see him. Take Steph Curry and that team, like everybody, they were a high power offensive team. Don't get me wrong, man, you had Jen Brown man, you know you had these other high power guys, but he was still a facilitator, he still had to put that pressure on Curry. But, that being said, just the greediness of him, man, the roughness of him, that tenacity that he has, certain skills that he has, that you can't train. You can't train hustle, you can't train grit, you can't train attitude you know there's certain things you've got to Can't train seven feet. Yeah, you got to just have that attribute and then sharpen man. So Marcus Smart is my guy for this year, 36. Good stuff, man, but that's the mantra Now.

Speaker 1:

Personally, it's the R&D man, the research and development within myself of me revising and developing plans to move forward. I like to look at myself to be very self-disciplined, self-motivated a lot of self things and I'll write down the things that I need to do and the things that I want to do, and I believe that people who write them down have a better chance of completing them. For sure, and I got to say that habit of just. I do it as often as I can. It's normally a daily thing. Either I write it manually, I put it in my phone, but a transformation generally comes around birthdays, or it comes around holidays, or I'm a business person.

Speaker 1:

If one, a different transformation comes every quarter. I need a different mentality. I need a third and fourth quarter. I'm always Jordan or I'm always LeBron or I'm always Kobe, but I'm always that give me the ball, I'm going to make something happen, yeah, especially if we get a good enough lead. Normally the start don't have to play the fourth quarter Normally. So if I'm able to transform myself, or I find me in these transformations, or I label them recalibrations. I recalibrate myself. I have a conversation of realignment, of. This is what I want to do, and I found us having that conversation over the weekend during vacation.

Speaker 1:

First things first. I want to have a better relationship with my kids. My son is stepping into that age of middle schools, going into the sixth grade. I want to be there to coach him and mentor him and have him mentally tough and be able to teach him the lessons and be more nurturing to him. I think he understands and got the clear picture of how grunt and gritty his father can be with him, along with the lectures of like hey, man, I love you, man, it's why I'm not giving up on you, my nigga, but I got to, I got to be tough with you and I got to help you see these things through, because you need to learn a complete thing Me being able to tell him that I feel like we'll put him eons ahead because he's getting the understanding, he's getting the, the lesson being broke down to him, and not just feel like he has to do something because I'm the adult and I'm always right no, no, as I expressed to him, and grownups not, we're not always right. So, yeah, you deserve an apology if we're wrong, and when we're wrong, you deserve an apology. So, with him, I want to make sure I'm getting that relationship with him nice and good and tight so that he can come and talk to me and feel comfortable to come and talk to me like he does now. But I know heavier things are going to come, so I want to be able to make sure I got that door open like, hey, this is where we develop a friendship, because I'm your parent first, I'm your father first. I'm going to protect you first. But I want you to feel comfortable to come and talk to me and tell me, hey, as a girl, that you like, or you know you want to do this or do that.

Speaker 1:

Or he asked the other day like man, can I? He want to buy one of his friends a gift. He was like can I do some more chores or work so I can, like, make some money? That's hard. I'm like, yeah, for sure, man. He was like I saw my friend cut the grass. Don't you teach me how to cut the grass? Yeah, I'm like, for sure, we're going to be tapping into that. I'm like for sure, for sure man. So I want to be able to, as I teach him in strong hands, make a man. Strong hands Me and a man. I'm a laborer, I'm a craftsman, I work with my hands. You give me tools. I'm a bad boy, so making sure I got that with him. And then Cairo I want to make sure that I'm being more disciplined with him.

Speaker 1:

Though my baby is identified to be on the spectrum as a parent who still takes care of him every day, that's one of the many labels that he could wear. I'm not even a label person. However, you still my son. You're still a man. You're still smart. You're still this, you're still that is still principal values you need to learn.

Speaker 1:

I need to be more tough on him because, though he is a baby, though he was a preemie, though he's this, he still has to make game. Mommy can't keep babying him and I can't keep babying him because I'll baby him to him. I'll pick him up, I'll hold him. He get the crown. I just give him what he want.

Speaker 1:

In my mind somewhere like hey, man, he was, he was only. He wasn't even a pound, he was like 14 ounces. Give him a break. Yeah, I mean, we had a hard life. But when I get to see him and like his rawness, I get to see him raw, like, hey, you just got us, you, you need a daddy. Or when I get to see how he behaves, man, but it's like I want to make sure that I'm staying diligent with him, I'm staying tough with him, I'm staying, I'm staying that father figure that he needs, that man of like amen, your mom and everybody, we got that covered on kissing and hugging you and making sure you're good.

Speaker 1:

However, the worst is behind the fact that you're a baby. The worst is behind this now. The worst is behind this nigga, all his crime that is fussing, or this terrible to even though you three, but my baby a little behind on the timing because he was so early, you ain't about the foolless, we ain't about the fool. Yeah, your mammy, that's that's important. You can't. I'm not going to like, I tell him and KJ, like, man, that's my woman, don't you womanize her. That's, that's that's for me to do. Don't you do that shit. Go get your own, go get your own woman. Yeah, real shit, man, hey, 30, 36, dude, I'm proud of you. Happy belated birthday. Once again, I'm excited.

Speaker 1:

I think it's kind of dope that we get to. We get the up levels together. As always, nigga, you go first. It was born first at son first His birthday first. In a year my mama was fucking her. I stay, I stay behind like a good, like a good. Two months they that stopped me to get a new car.

Speaker 1:

But I say this, man, as we talk and we counsel each other, I think that's very, very important that we demonstrate how kings are diplomatic, how we can communicate with each other about what we feel at home and that room, how we feel just individually. You know, as a man and even in our careers, knowing like that's really a balance of another place, that we need to feel powerful and feel useful and feel valued. You know what I'm saying. You don't wanna just be you already sometimes gotta, you know, take on what happens at the home and the man sometimes doesn't get the gratitude he deserves because it's kind of.

Speaker 1:

The narrative is heavily pushed. He's supposed to do that, right, it's expected. However, I'm not in the place today to argue that or debate that. I do understand the narrative of we state we as men protect and provide. So certain things that fall under the category of protect and provide is very easy for that woman to shift and say, hey, that's on you, granted, okay, fine, as long as that street is a two way street which is fair traffic, that I can say, hey, the expectation is on you to do X, y and Z, especially if I have to stand tall in mind of you supposed to. It's expected of you to do. It's like okay, well, if I'm going and I didn't kill the hog, I didn't cut it up and I didn't drug it home, do I got to cook it too? Because if I do, I just cooked it where I killed it.

Speaker 1:

Most craftsmen, most woodsmen, will cook it where they kill it. But because I have someone at home and I have children, potentially I'm going to need another skill or another craftswoman who has certain skill sets for me to say, hey, I have a wife at home that can debone a fish man, she can go ahead and cut that whole hog up and feed all of us man, we got big ears feed tail chitlins, whatever man, she took that chicken got me the big titties. She cut, she cut. There's always one bigger than the other, one titties, and I like that. Oh, I tell you that, be bigger, I like that one. He's be looking at me like what's up, but I want to be able to have that spouse that I can rely on and that offers that relief. That's where the balance comes in. Like he said, if I go out there in a while and I get the hog and I load him up in the truck and I bring him home and I train him and I cut him up, hey, can you clean him? They use any muck and cooking Because the potatoes on there. That's where the balance comes in.

Speaker 1:

These men and women we don't do the same thing. You know what I mean. The analogy is put out there a lot, as much as in relationship. Nine days, as much as we want to say, we don't do the gender roles thing. Traditional gender roles the image that comes to mind when I hear that is, first of all, it's a white woman. You know what I'm saying? I love Lucy looking. You know what I'm saying? April in time. See April in heels. You know what I'm saying? Which do not. It's not realistic, it's not comfortable. Dustin and shit the man come home looking like vision and wanted vision, honey, I'm hope. Traditional gender roles, however. There are very much still.

Speaker 1:

How many women out there between the age of 20 and 35 going out there cutting that graph? Bosh of hands, please, maybe. In my studies, it's probably less than like three or five. Yeah, not a lot. It may be you. It may be you, but it ain't the woman standing next to you, it is more. It's more none than Absolutely. It's more people not doing it than they are. It's several women right now who raised their hands. I cut my graph. If you had a choice, though, would you you know, because I'm pretty sure it ain't a man sitting inside that house with his feet kicked up watching the football game. Why are you out there cutting that graph? So there are absolutely gender role when it comes to certain things. Are you going to let your wife clean the gutters? No, she ain't getting up there. She going to call me outside too much for one, hey, what can I do? You know how are you supposed to take this out? Yeah, certain shit not going to happen.

Speaker 1:

How many of y'all, just on the smallest scale, you call your man to come kill that spider, hey, or if y'all can't get me out the bed this weekend On bug duty, I'm like 60% sleep. I'm in a good. I was so damn tired this weekend, but I was 60% there. She come up. Who needs you to come here? What is this spider downstairs? I got two boys downstairs. What an hell Shit. I was full of shoes, shoes all up.

Speaker 1:

You're my daughter. Kill them up like Lenny. Sir, if the mommy going to pick you up and you just hit it, ok she'll be with it. She a thug, but I need some shit. Got that. But our ginger rose man and we in bed.

Speaker 1:

You hear a bump in the night. I wish my woman would go see what's down there. Go sit your motherfucking ass down. I would see how I went. Bernie, yeah, like what the fuck is you going to do? Bernie, just came up out of me. I didn't mean to do it. Let me go handle it. You know what I'm saying. Can we up? We are no, I know we can agree with that, even if you do cut grass and kill spiders here bumping the night. You got a man land next to you. Make up, make. Go see what that was. You're going to be looking at that man like he crazy. You go check that out. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

So there are absolutely gender row. I don't know how we got on that. Got on that. Just just the dynamic in the household, what we talking about with the kids, and then, you know, in the relationships and the balance. When it comes to the balance, so a certain things she will do and certain things that we would do. As many as we want to ignore gender roles these days, they're there. Whether you want to admit it or not, they're absolutely there, and we got to get back to that at some point. Man, the argument, man, it ain't looking good. The folks ain't getting married, no more.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'll say this, man, I'll stand on this. I believe in gender roles. Yeah, just on the like, the Venn diagram of the men Him, her I'm about to be clearing up Shit him, her, and which all both can do together, yeah for sure. But like here's the thing, though, I must say this really, I believe in gender roles as well. Majority of the time, the lines only get blurred because, see, we can do what women can do gender roles.

Speaker 1:

I ain't talking about pushing out, no baby. I can hear you on that week. I can wash the dishes, but you ain't about to put these countertop sinking. You know what I'm saying. It assists me. Maybe I can get this me. I can cook pretty goddamn well, might I say, but a lot of time, my grandma. But you ain't about to be putting up no drywall. You see where it, where it gets. You know, it's just like I can do what you can do, but can you really step into? Can you really step into what a man should do, or is, quote unquote supposed to do and be successful Ultimately? And that's where it gets blurred. You right, we got to have, we got to have that balance.

Speaker 1:

I remember once. I remember one time my grass was looking bad. It was rough. I'm about to get another notice on the door from the city. First time I have a lot more. Just got the house we moved in the fall, so the grass wasn't growing any damn way, made it all the way through the winter. Springtime hit this shit grown and have a lot more. All right, I'm going to get one on on Wednesday or whatever. They put a notice on the door like Monday, like bitch, I'm walking. Yeah, you're a little, I'm a you, to straight up, but but I'm going to get home. I'm going to get home and I'm the type if I, if I need to get something that I need to get straight to it. Don't sit down, don't have my grass cut shit on my goggles, I get into it. I got a whole fit on. I won't grass get in my hair and she got to make sure I wrap my shit up. You know, um, I'm getting my my grass cutting gear on.

Speaker 1:

So my wife asks me but what we haven't been doing? I said, okay, now, it wasn't a boo, what would you like for dinner? Chicken or steak? It wasn't that, it was a hey, you think of and I don't mind that. I don't mind that I do that. Actually, you know, pretty often we we balance there. But I'm feeling this. You ain't feeling that we can have that. I'm cool with that. I ain't really got a taste for that. Let's do this. Fuck you, you want to eat what I want. Sometimes it goes down that way.

Speaker 1:

On this particular day, I'm kind of like all right, I'll figure out dinner. If you bought to go outside and cut this crack, that's what I'm about to do. So at this point although we don't make the traditional gender role thing either. However, on this day I believe it was Thursday on this day hey, I'm about to go do this. I need you to handle that, please, pretty please. You know what I'm saying I can't, I can't do it all right now. I can't be in. Let me try to figure it out. Hey, sweetie, baby, I need you to look out for us right now because I'm about to go outside and do this. I'll be out there about 90 minutes Cause I do the front, the back, I edge it up, spray my shit, cut the bush, I get into it.

Speaker 1:

It's a session, low key. I'm out there having fun. It's a session. It's a session. It's a session. I stand out there for another 15, just looking at it. Yeah, that shit look good. Yeah, I'm going to do a diagonal next time. Let's see how that. Yeah. Yeah, have you ever finished cutting your grass and seeing like one more pass? Now I haven't missed this little strip. I'm going to do some checkers out this motherfucking next week. Kill these checkers out this bitch. By the way, man, thank you.

Speaker 1:

The weed killer stuff that you gave me the weed and feed, sprayed the hook up to the holes and that shit work All right. Now I had to hook my water hose up from inside and bring it around. I couldn't reach the tree lawn. My hose a hundred feet, 150 long as a bitch, but because I had to take it through some obstacles. It couldn't. It didn't reach all the way out. So I wasn't able to spray the front tree lawn.

Speaker 1:

Hmm, today I was looking at that shit like I'm looking at my grass. I don't see them, weird as weeds popping up with a little dickhead on. I don't see them. But I look out on that tree lawn. They're there because I wasn't able to reach there, can't get that. So I was like, oh, that should work, that should work. I even spray a little in the back, has something to just get it out there real quick, but primarily make it front lawn.

Speaker 1:

Then I got them to fucking starting. I got four long. Yeah, you got two little side lawns. Fuck, you got like a little little traffic. Community way, man, the way the lawn set up, it's kind of a lot. When you add that shit up, it's a lot of grass. I see how you was like that one time. Like man, I think I'm gonna have to give me a ride more. I'm like, no, that should have been unnecessary as fuck. You would have finished the lawn in like 1112 minutes. Man, one of them. Like I got to cut the neighborhood, yeah, but no, man. But Balance is what I add, balance.

Speaker 1:

If I'm putting something in place for the children to do, back, back me up and enforce that. You know what I'm saying, because I make sure I'm intentional with my wife. I'm making sure because and I'm sure my mama's out there gonna feel me on this them kids ain't listening to you all like that. And daddy got to step in. Hey, no, that's how we pay most of the time. That's all we got to do. I have to enforce what you said and I'm not going to take you know. Hey, go clean that room. I'm a hey. Didn't mommy tell you to go clean your room? So it ain't me stepping in and me telling you is me intentionally backing mommy up. I'm president of the fuck these kids association and I'm the chairman. I'm the chairman. Did mommy ask you to do something? Go get it done before we jump your shit. I'm gonna take your head and she gonna get your knees Straight like that. Break your head Straight like that. Man, balance ladies to jump.

Speaker 1:

So I say this man, when it comes to that, balance man. It's a. It remind me of a quote that I use and I actually put it up on Facebook and I use emojis to kind of describe it. And you were a liber, right, virgo, virgo. Okay, my apologies, but shout out to the Libras they come later in the month, september 23rd, 24th, something like that.

Speaker 1:

Our producer, uh, crystal, she, she, uh a lead, I mean Libra, she a Libra. She got Leo, virgo, libra, yeah, virgo, start August 26th. My daughter Virgo, my baby girl Virgo, she kicked off the Virgo season, I believe, on the 26th. Okay, okay, I believe. So I use this thing with her and I say to her like she, a Libra, and I'm like man, the way the Zodiac is set up, I'm like man, I'm the Leo, um, the leader, I'm the one that kind of set the tone and set the balance.

Speaker 1:

When it gets to the Virgo is like, hey, I didn't, I didn't lost control of something somewhere. Virgo got to help find, make sense of it, be the great ally, cause then, if it gets to the Libra, now it was things that's hanging in the balance. But I have really good relationships with Virgos and with Libras yeah, really good. And with Aries I have really good relationships with with people. But I don't know, I'm learning Cause my sisters and them send me stuff all the time. I'm like, yeah, you're Leo, you're this, that, you're, you're why, this is this? I'm like I don't fucking know, but thank you, I'm just out here living, thank you for helping me find myself, find myself. But, um, but you know the, the relationships and that balance, man, just taking it to the Zodiac, I think that's, you know, pretty cool.

Speaker 1:

But, uh, when it comes to that balance and that relationship, some people think balances like the, uh, the Libra scale, they think it's just up and down, like that, when balance really can be the clown in the circus juggling, yeah, they look, balancing, that it's still. I still gotta have control. Shit you might think is unorganized, when it really is, you know. So, uh, to say that, to say, when it comes to like the relationships, man, I feel like it's very heavy to find balance due to, as we stated, man, there's so many different things of people like, hey, man, I don't, I'm a woman, I don't do this. Or I'm a man, I don't do that. And having these gender roles, I feel like having a balance and having roles that you play Beyond just the genders. Like I'm a husband, that's a role. Yeah, for sure, I got husband role. You know I'm saying you a wife, you got wife roles. I Want to be able to say hey man, my wife balances me in this particular way.

Speaker 1:

So I give you an example, as I'm finding out more about myself holidays, birthdays, certain celebrations actually depress me. Is that it actually depresses me? I don't you gonna forget. I don't fuck with Chris. Let me refer it.

Speaker 1:

I like Christmas, I like seeing the lights and trees, watching the Grinch and shit. Maybe that's why I'll. But Yo, man, like, where the fuck did I find I Fucking $1,700 to get all y'all some shit that I couldn't find all goddamn, yeah, today I fucking it's where the fuck 800? Where did I find $800 to? Just, yeah, shit, I don't fuck with me and my wife. We try to do this to I we just gonna make sure the kids have a good Christmas and that's the thing of it. For me it's kind of like because man, shit always Coming up. Like I told man just put a band in the car, 942 Rounded up. Well, it's supposed to be like 12, it's supposed to be like 12. So I'm thankful, you know. But you know Some shit always coming.

Speaker 1:

So around Christmas and it's something going on every fucking month, every month of the year is something put in place to run up in our pockets, not including our own birthdays and anniversaries and shit like that, celebrations that you just a yeah, you look at out, yeah, it's been two years, celebrate again. But nah, man, I'm like you man, birthdays and stuff, even my own birth, especially my own birthday, mm-hmm, I do my own research and development and, being my transformation mode, I want to, I want, I want to better myself at something I I share my theme, which are a little later this month, but Ultimately, manage dresses it. I don't feel good about it. I'm not good at like, planning something special for somebody. It ain't really my my thing. We could do some. I'm gonna try, but I don't feel I'm not excited about it. You know, saying it's like I'm more so.

Speaker 1:

Doing it because and this ain't a guy I don't want nobody to have this feeling towards me I'm not doing it because it's Gonna sound bad. I'm not doing it because I want to do something special. If you're birthday, I'm excited. Oh, she's gonna let us. I'm doing this like I am man, this one I'm supposed to do. Yeah, how much? Oh, what if we like Get on the boat like you, spin the block, drop us off. But like I'm with you, man, I'm with you on all of that I kill, I catch me Sad and not as excited about them as an adult and that normally.

Speaker 1:

I guess that comes, not. I guess that comes from being a person, as I expressed on my wife, like as the man we take care In our relationship and I only can speak singularly for our relationship. However, if you identify with this, feel free to. I'm speaking for you, to be sure, as I'll express to her, as the man I facilitate every day, I still got to make sure things are done and handled and protected and provided for and orchestrated and I Stand in that position honorably and proudly.

Speaker 1:

However, I do get weary and and when we have certain days such as birthdays, christmas is bar mitzvahs, any type of day where the pressure is born to serve and to present and to Kind of show and go out, I Get. I don't, I don't care for it, because it's still me having to facilitate that day in some way and it's normally financially and and if I don't meet the expectation of what I have to do for this event or this day financially, it's like I didn't take care of the day before. It's not like. It's like I didn't take, I'm not taking care of the day after. It wasn't like I didn't take care of the last event. So it's kind of like I'm only as good as the last good thing that I did. Yeah, and I don't give a fuck about that. I think I'm yeah, I don't give a fuck about it. So I'm down for events and going out and having fun. But we've gotten to a place now of, if I have to still facilitate it, of like paying for it.

Speaker 1:

I don't want to be involved in the planning. I don't want to be involved in packing the bag. I don't want to be involved in cleaning up. After nothing, I don't want to be involved in nothing if I gotta Pay for everything or pay for most of this shit. I gotta move shit, I gotta clean, I gotta cook, I gotta Meet guests, I gotta wash my ass and put on nice clothes. It's like shoes and shit. I don't give a fuck about shoes, I'm too free, but it's one of them Like hey, man, I that. That emotionally trains me, it overwhelms me. It's like reality start kicking in. It's like these people don't talk to me, yeah, or not even a Wellness check. How you doing, brother, you came to mind Are you gay? I'm happy, but not homosexual. It's like hey, nigga, I thought of you, thought of you, mommy. I thought of your brother, thought of your sister. I thought of your cousin. I want to see how you was doing you still breathing, yo. Your social media posts look suicidal, I think. I want to make sure you are All right, man, I'm with you on that, dude.

Speaker 1:

However, one thing that I will say about myself I'm gonna have me a spur of the moment event, like once or twice a year. And once or twice a year, my fucking uh. Memorial Day, labor Day, random Saturday, sunday hey, pull up. I happen to have a 36 pack of glizzy Show. I got some burgers and shit chicken corn. Baby. Hey, pull up, come through. Got some wood for the fire pit. Let's light it up with the music on.

Speaker 1:

I love having my people around, but it's, it's to my, to my, the word I'm looking for, to my discretion. If you will Not because a date is set in place for me to do this, it may happen on one of the random holidays. However, it's like you know what I feel like doing something. There's no expectation for me to do shit on Labor Day, memorial Day, 4th of July, juneteenth Take the Juneteenth thought. We're gonna do something, we're doing something.

Speaker 1:

So we're saying but I Feel like it's when, when I want to do it, I'm in the mood, I'm a clean up on Saturday, so we can make this shit happen on Monday or clean up on, Get the shit together. We're going shopping If I'm in the mood and, like, I tell my wife all the time she'll be on a clean up thing on Saturday and they're honestly, man on Saturday, I I'd rather clean up on sunday. Now they saying it's supposed to work on Sunday, I'd rather clean up on Sunday because I Need that rest first. Mm-hmm, I go hard every fucking week. Saturday, first chance, nigga, no, alarm my body waking me up, fucking 430. Anyway. You know, I'm saying and if I can stay, sleep and end up waking up fucking eight, nigga, I feel groggy as fuck, like I slept way too long, that fuck a gong by five o'clock. Nigga, go and get up, because you're gonna feel like shit later. Relax, get that rest. You know I'm saying go out and see the sun. I may hit the grass, but I ain't trying to be deep, deep, deep cleaning the crib. I, more so, got the energy to do that on sunday To me and my wife. We opposites in that matter. You can ask her when I'm in the fucking mood to clean up. Oh that fucking clean up, right, shit, I ain't even no need cleaning. And they are. You clean the fucking pantry out, organized our pasta sauces alphabetical order fucking clean. It went up and went out and did the gutters. The grass was cut.

Speaker 1:

Yesterday I cleaned her office, cleaned the fucking mud room. I was like, oh shit, when I feel like really going in, I'm in the mood, got some good music playing and shit, normally that'll do it. The music is you moving? I'm cleaning all fucking day, but if I'm not in the mood and you want me to like, join you and you. You ain't got to match me on my cleaning being. If you want to take a living room, I should. I knew got most of this shit clean before 11 am. Anyway, you know what I'm saying. But hey, no pressure, go chill, I got this shit. You know what I'm saying and I don't want to have to match you when you in your cleaning because I'm a feel guilty. You know what we saying. They're gonna lift my feet up, but I don't.

Speaker 1:

I'm say I do not want you to feel like he clean in on this. Let me get up and do, hey, no, hey, you relax. I want you to relax. That's what you feel like doing. See, I want you to be happy. This would a balance come in. You want to chill? Chill, I'm a clean of all this shit. That's pretty fucking that's. That's that's balance. I got it all and you don't feel like doing shit. I mean, I got 100 percent. You know what I'm saying. Now, if we can meet in the middle, that's fine too, but I'm not. I want you to feel no pressure, to feel like you got to go in on this clean and shit too. I'm in the mood to do this. Don't mean you got to be. You know what I mean. That's just me for show man when we do cleaning at the career man I'm like as we talk about the balance, I'm extremely domestic.

Speaker 1:

Childhood to my mother for teaching her trudge and that like very domestic, have a strong hospitality personality. So cleaning or cooking or managing a home, it kind of comes natural. Yeah, along with I had a serious relationship where I exercise that playing houses, that call it. I was. I was playing a house before I got serious and out here in the world and found you know my wifey. But I learned in playing house that I could actually manage a household, that I could actually pay bills, grocery shop, balance a checkbook, put in the light fixture, carry in some groceries, move in some furniture, negotiate with the landlord that we laid on the rent. You know what I'm saying. I can. I can, I can manage things, I can handle things.

Speaker 1:

So when we got into our relationship and where we are now is it's, it's an understanding we still have our days of like chores. Or I'll give like little hints to her, she'll get a little hints to me of like I need some help, and or they will catch the drift of each other, and this is kind of where we are now. We'll catch the drift of each other with each other is doing. So when I'm outside cutting the grass, that's my stuff. I'm out there cutting the grass, trimming, putting the killing weeds. I'm picking up the dog poop. She picked up dog poop in five, six years. Man, the dogs is 42 years old, we had them six years. I didn't pick the very third, minus accidents in the house. So you're in there, you're up there, but that's something that I do. I'll do that.

Speaker 1:

I'm doing the outside work and when I come in, sometimes I'll come in from outside and I'll take off my clothes and I'm like, ok, man, let me put these in a wash. Ok, let me throw these other clothes in here, so it's a load. Ok, let me clean off myself in the sink. Damn this sink dirty. I'm cleaning the sink out and then I get there cleaning up in the home. And then when I'm cleaning up in the home, she kind of get this look sometime of like you trying to tell me to do something. Yeah, you trying to, but you ain't got it. You ain't got to do that, you ain't got to do that. And I'm like, well, I'm in them. You know I'm in them. I got the book. Yeah, I got the book. So I'm just was caught catching.

Speaker 1:

My order needs to be handled. I'm handling it, not to insult Sure style and cleaning, but why, if you know, like man, I clean, like a Mexican, like that's in my blood, they eat my. But oh, I'll get to the task. I'll put the work in and I go Like I'm cleaning the corners, I'm cleaning the face, where I'm like I don't need to paint, I just need to wipe this shit off, detailing, but. But I'll have to do each room one by one. Yeah, because if I think about doing the whole house I'll overwhelm myself just mentally, bro, sometimes.

Speaker 1:

Man, I remember one time I like really had got Mika's office straight. Man, I was off his name, but so big, smaller than this room, but I was in that joint a good three hours. It's detailing. I had painted her, her fire. It was wood, painted that shit white. You know I'm saying we're on the back. You just did the ceiling fan.

Speaker 1:

Move this over here, put her extra piece on her desk that we didn't use at the last house because it was too small. Y'all mad at the piece in here. She put both computers here. You know I'm saying rearrange her shit. You know I'm saying like, yes, you need a picture right here when she on doing video calls in our background, waxed up. She needs some shit up here, satin painting, she needs some gray. This is great, he's color. You know what I'm saying. Something bring out your eyes, something that bring out your outfit. You know what I'm saying. At least she blouts, she don't. But but I, yeah, I understand you.

Speaker 1:

There, man, we, it ain't easy, but it ain't hard either. It has this taste, just like everything else. Ultimately, I like being a husband. I love my wife, I love my kid and I can do this shit. But sometimes this, this, this decide I want to be on, I want to go outside, I want to go home. Hey, I'm being asked, you looking for me. I'm being asked, hey, I'm responsible. Straight up, nigga, get a nigga, get an itch. I urge what they say to Dayton pool, guy P in it, because everybody left in there shitty and she, everybody want them. I ain't gonna say nobody else want them, because any day and time anybody can end up in that month, straight up, and that's just an excuse to help stay at home. That ain't nowhere near the only reason, but it's kind of like it was the alternative.

Speaker 1:

What you say, uncle. See, it ain't like you bought to leave a woman and not go be with a woman, like, unless you making that decision, unless you making that decision. But it's like you bought to leave a woman and go be with another woman. You bought to run into the same shit. You left Wendy's to go work in McDonald's. Still make fries, it's just, you went from McDonald's to McDonald's. My buns have no seats. Hey, man, what is so? I'll tell you this.

Speaker 1:

Man, I am, as we talked about in one of the other episodes. Man, I'm not a casual relationship kind of person, without with anyone. I have to have a connection with that person If we're going to do things and be intertwined with each other, especially on the long term type of thing. Yes, very good. So, as we were talking about, you know the balance in a relationship and you know it is difficult for that woman to be a wife, to be a woman, especially to a man who is high powered.

Speaker 1:

And when I mean high powered I mean that man is desirable in a way to the world of his career, his position, his ability to think, to lead, to orchestrate, to strategize a lot of internals, to think you know what I'm saying To just get to be a thinking man. He, you know how you, all of those things, man that comes that you have to have a Betty Shabazz. You have to have, you know, a Coretta Scott that understands that man's purpose and helps navigate that and understand, like, hey, man, he not, it's not going to always be easy. Or this position that he has is demanding of him. Yeah, you know it's demanding of him because, look, he has to do this because when he comes home he comes home and he's safe and whatever he did protected us. Ok, like, just keep it out of mind Like he, he not doing it selfishly as we, as you and I, speak about it all the time in conversations that we've had to have, just the conversations of faith, like we're not.

Speaker 1:

These conversations in these decisions aren't made selfishly. They're made to be transparent, of like hey, man, if we don't hit a certain mark, we both will have to dust off our resumes and and, being men, our wives don't look at us like it's still our fault. They like well, I got to and you screwing up, like baby, I actually modell on and you say no, you want to make juice. I could be bad by myself. Go right ahead, because I ain't doing bad at all. Most fucking, I won't let me fall.

Speaker 1:

So you know, it's a, it's a big understanding and balance that has to come in that man. So having these casual relationships do not work for me and me having to have a connection with people and understanding, like that relationship between that man and woman and I want to be vague when I say man and woman I want that relationship with that man and woman to be a peaceful relationship and now woman to feel safe with that man, wherever she is with that man and shit, I'm gonna have the third guess herself yeah, like hey man, I don't know, so on and so forth. And I say that to say, like Me as a man, you as a man. We play very heavy benefit to our families. Our wives are unrivaled.

Speaker 1:

Don't you dare go after my wife or that position Straight up. That goes from my mama, goes from my sister. That doesn't have to be another woman that I can be romantic with. Yeah for sure, that can just be another woman. Mama, don't go after my bitch, don't go after her Straight up. Don't, don't do that whole shit. Don't do that. Mama, I love you but I'm in love with her. Yeah, I can't touch you like I can't. They did these different love. You can't do that. It's a different love. But it's like I still, you still get to protect, you still get to provide, you still get the, the, the, the chivalry, you still get all of those things from me, but you don't get the romance, you don't get the intimacy that way. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

That brings me to a question before we wrap up for the night. Um, as men, we're gentlemen and gentlemen in every way, meaning doing for our women. You know we've been talking about cutting the grass and making sure we're handling what we're supposed to handle as men. That doesn't just stop at our wives. So let's say, I'll put it in question form Okay, if you run inside, let's say, your wife stays in the car because you just running inside to grab the pickup order, real quick, okay. And on your way out from getting your food there's another woman, rather young or what have you, but we'll just say young for the purpose of this conversation is walking in, and so you make sure you step to the side. You open the door Okay, make eye contact. You smile, she makes eye contact and smiles and return and says thank you and you say you're welcome. You allow the door to close and you go on on your merry way back to your vehicle with your lady sitting inside.

Speaker 1:

Now your woman saw this shit, this four and a half second interaction between you and she, whoever she may be. This your lady have a problem with this? Does she bring it to your attention? Let me hold the old torch for other bitches. Like being a gentleman does not stop at you, or even me being courteous does not stop at you. Me being helpful does not stop at you, you, my woman, you get more benefit. However I'm, I'm liked it. This is me, this is who I am. I'm a gentleman, you know, saying you don't want me to be snotty to all these other bitches I saw women, I saw, I saw. Let me let you answer that. First man, and I'm gonna move on to another question. Would your lady had to take issue with that? No, no man.

Speaker 1:

And wifey is at this age we are now, we both 36. Man, his wifey is a pretty easy going when it comes to certain things like that. She used to, because we both scratched our jealousy. It's before in our relationship. You know we've been together 13 plus years, so she used to have an issue with me just laughing and joking around with just random people and just we just key, key, key, key in. And so she got a chance to understand and see, I think we key, key with no bitch Bye for it.

Speaker 1:

Okay, she can go for that, but her getting a chance to be around me enough to see like, hey, that's just people are. They gravitate towards you, they migrate towards you, they're magnetic and on numerous occasions we didn't been out and I'll be me, just, you know, charismatic and being funny, whatever it is, and they'll ask her like man, how do you deal with him, how do you handle him? He just told me too funny, too much, and she's like I drink a lot, whatever, whatever, I drink wine. But it really was like her saying like hey, babe, I feel like that is a is very wrong of me to them. You, who you are just getting to see like man, you not trying to seek attention from people, people just come, you make people feel comfortable and people just feel they just tell you things. Yeah for sure, we didn't been places and I didn't just been quiet.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and see, we need to represent our women well, the same way our women need to represent us well. Men typically don't have a problem with that, but then this age where you got, you know men more so, wanting our women and not even our women, at least for me, just women in general to be more feminine. I saw a video where a young lady I wish we could play the audio, maybe we can to where this woman was stating that if you, not her man, it ain't no reason for her to be feminine towards you or to be be nice to you. If she talk like, yeah, what's up, bro? That's because you, you brown fuck with you like that. These are her words, you know, and that's what she put out. My man, get that from me, not you. I see that and I'm kind of like I don't want my woman Behaving that way, especially intentionally, just because that man ain't sure you know I'm saying I want you to represent me.

Speaker 1:

Well, yeah, be nice, be sweet, be feminine. It's lines with this shit and that line is simply oh, I'm married. However, represent me. Well, if I got, if I got my boys at the house and I've seen this shit with a friend of mine his woman will literally host the gentleman bringing chips and sauces and shit, little cheese, pepperoni, bread and shit. She's hosting. She ain't like involved in what we're doing, but she making sure I'm good and because I'm attached with my boys right now, they are reaping the benefits of what I get because we together my woman making sure we all straight, bring it Y'all good, y'all need anything. Did you want to be here? Want to water Got you? That's how it should go. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

And rather, and if it's a stranger, I don't want my woman, you know, unless you fucking gotta be. You know what I'm saying. Fellas, no means fucking, no, all right, but you know if it's oh, thank you so much, I appreciate that, all right. So, okay, oh, no, I'm sorry, I'm married. Yeah, you know, move the fuck on until you got to pull that shit out your bag. You know what I mean, right, but it should represent me well. Don't be displaying no shitty ass attitudes being nasty you know what I'm saying Not being at least just who you naturally want to be, even to me, because then that's making me look like she probably run that nigga at the house. Not saying we give a fuck about what nobody else think. However, it's about representation. You don't want your kids going out there and acting a fucking fool. You know what I'm saying. You want your family, your unit, to represent you well. So I'm going to have to try and pull up the audio on that.

Speaker 1:

That one really bothered me and I left a comment like hey, no, that ain't Represent me. Yeah, I'm all for the duality of a personality and they'll blame it on a zodiac. I'm a, I'm a Virgo terrier, okay. So I'm going to be there, however, being an adult, and represent yourself and have some etiquette and poise, which means balance and balance to yourself. To purposefully be anti social towards people due to I just don't fuck with you or having like I can't explain what this person's mentality is. But if you have an on and off switch of yeah, I am a certain way with my spouse and yeah, I am this way, uh huh, then when I'm not, I'm, this is like that takes too much energy for you to too much.

Speaker 1:

As a man about to fall is either nigga, asshole uh, that does nice shit sometimes a generous asshole. Or gentleman with grit, yeah, like, hey, man, he going to do some nice shit, but he don't take no shit. So that woman is like I'm nurturing to the kids, and only the kids. And then I'm seductive and persuasive to my husband and then I'm bruh to the bruhs, because they bruh like, okay, a lot, you know, but I get the duality, I get the personality of. So I say and I'm trying to understand, okay, I'm trying to understand, wifey will throw on. One day She'll look like a lady, like a girl, got stuff on, put a little bra on, do whatever, and then the next day she's throwing some Jays T shirt, jacket, but her personality doesn't change. She's a girl in Jordan's, girl in heels. There's a girl in bikini. The girl at the gynecologist, you know what I'm saying. She's a girl, yeah. So her being like okay, yeah, when she would meet with us, she ain't bruh is.

Speaker 1:

I think humor is every human being's commonplace. Yeah, for sure I can. She can crack a joke and laugh and like, oh, yeah, but the meaning here is the ratio ain't no other women? Yeah, but I'mma leave them room, this for you. Or it even be one of those like, hey, I'm getting ready to have company, baby, and you know, is that okay? And she be like nigga. You ain't gotta ask me, cause I'll say this man, if I know, I hang for a good 10 minutes fuck with my wife's brains, you know what I'm saying. But it was like all right, baby, I'm gonna go, I'll let you. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

Y'all do y'all, y'all do y'all. You know what I'm saying. Or, yeah, baby, you want me here? Please tell me, and that's my generosity at least. Y'all wanna go grab something to eat? Or you know, whatever the case may be, but they got my that. I ain't finna be. I'mma you with your girls Now if we double, triple, quadruple dating and shit, of course we all in there together. But if you finna be with your girls, hey, i'mma talk my little shit and I'm out. Unless you need something you know what I'm saying Let me know or I'll be over here. I'll be in the garage. I'mma moving out in two years. Two years I'm outta there.

Speaker 1:

I'm not in women business, just like. Hey, ain't no need for you to be in the arts, yeah, and I'mma be a gentleman to your friends. The same way I'm a gentleman with you, with your mama. If your mama calling wanna utilize my services of hey he be knowin' how to put shit together, hey, come help me Now. You mad, why the fuck you callin' my man? Hey, my being a gentleman does not stop at you. It's gonna stop at you. This is just who I am. Cause, me being a man, like you said, me being a man don't stop at you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, if somebody was in the street and you gettin' to see, you know they hurt you. A woman like you lookin' for a man, you lookin' for somebody to rescue you. You lookin' for that strength of? Ain't. No, everybody, just where's the Avengers at? Somebody need to come and help me. And if I'm just the one that's like, hey, man, it's on my conscience to help this person. I can't just walk away. That's expected. It's like, hey, you expected to do that? Great, cool, fine, I don't mind answering the call, as long as it's fair. As long as it's fair to say, ah, my stomach should never be rumbling, my jaw should never be dirty. Like Ball should be empty. Yeah, ball should be empty. It helps, it helps, man. Ball should have an echo in it. I had a anybody in this room told me you think it cleared out. Evaluation man, school's out for the summer. Falls on 9-11, get the fuck out of there. Evaluation, hey, man, straight disposal Ball's on Katrina. So natural disaster, that's just how it is. Everybody get out, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So, man, I talk to wifey and I tell her things, especially in this phase. Man, just living a little bit more comfortably, a little bit more free, a little bit more like hey man, what's the worst that can happen? Me just being honest with you about us, about what I want or my expectations of things, man, and me even putting the realization on her, like hey, man, it's a certain amount of sex I like, and not just like, but like I need. Yeah, and to her, and this is me learning women from her through her and me understanding things too, but her just giving the clarification. She like, you know, hey, in-house dick sometimes be like I was there, I get it when I won't. You know what I'm saying. So it was like, since it's there, whatever, I get it whenever I want to. But it kind of desensitizes her because it is around so often. It's like I'm just swinging around. Yeah, it's like that workout, it's like that gym equipment that's so close that you're like I can work out whenever I feel like it. But you sometimes need to go to, you go get a gym membership, just to leave the house, to go. You like, oh, I need that mode, I need to get up and go, I need to like, I need that trip. You know, whatever reasoning is just like hey, man, you just bypassing it because it is already accessible.

Speaker 1:

On the other hand, women who don't have in-house dick tend to try to get fucked three, four times a week. Yeah, that's a, that's a. The woman is the opposite of the nigga. All right, she's. The woman is the opposite of the man. If I'm trying to fuck three, four times a week, who am I trying to fuck three, four times a week? Trying to fuck her. It's just man, it's men, it's only men and women and some niggas is fucking money. So it's kind of like two thirds out there, man, rancor team, man Phi Phi. My next thing, mondra. But I'm like hey man, no man, I want that woman and I want to be able to be like hey man, three, four times a week. Is is, is.

Speaker 1:

I think it's justifiable. It's just about healthy amount of time of working out, the 30, 40 minute session, especially since we busy. We ain't just laying around all day thinking about pussy. So I think about pussy a lot. Three, four, no, it think about me too, man. You ain't think about pussy while you working. You ain't think about pussy, like even now, while we. We think about it. Now I'm about to go home with a man. But it's a lot that we do that don't even allow us to be thinking about sex Working a lot. We make a show with this school, make a show with that school. When we get a man, it's not on some apps, but satisfaction. It's a lot that we do, business, man. We don't even allow us to be thinking about pussy.

Speaker 1:

However, when it comes down to it, like you said, not only the amount of sex that I want.

Speaker 1:

It's like man, I need this To be. I need not even. I need this. We need this. We need this. This is gonna sound real weird right now. The kids need us to have sex. I couldn't understand that. Let me say it again the kids need us to connect and be here with each other. Because I can be, I'll be, a better father to them. Hey, nigga, I am a phenomenal father.

Speaker 1:

After nothing that If you ain't go do it for me, do it for the kids, do it for the kids, do it for the kids. They fucking suffering. You know what I'm saying. I ain't letting up, I ain't got. No, no, cut that game off now. Instead of yeah, man, go on, I'll let you go for another hour. Yeah, you gotta, hey, me and your mom be upstairs. Yeah, one more, another hour. After that, knock out your chores, do. That's the third. And then me and you get to hang out Like, do it, okay, do it for the children. Yeah, man, for the children. Man, chief, tell the people how they can reach you. Man. Hey, people out there, all the freedom speakers, you can follow me on IG at permission, the number two underscore speak freely podcast Straight up, straight up and you can follow me Layla the most on Instagram at Layla the most L-A-Y-L-O-E dot T-H-A-M-O-S Permission to speak, or you can follow me on FB.

People on this episode

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Thee Highest Chief Ali

Host
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Lay Loe Tha Mos

Co-host